Learning to Live Again
by Dust motes in sunlight
Summary: Tamara Dixon has been lost in the world ravaged by the apocalypse for three months. Close to death she is saved by someone she thought she'd never see again. Can she learn to survive in a world where death and decay reign?
1. Chapter 1

Tamara and Lacy had been walking for days, just trying to find somewhere safe. Now the little three year old had started sobbing and Tamara knew she couldn't walk any more. "Shh, baby." The petite brunette whispered to the little redheaded girl who was clinging to her in exhaustion and fear. The woman's vibrant green eyes flicked around the trees near them praying no walking dead would hear the child's whimpering.

"Momma." The little girl sniffled.

Swallowing hard, Tamara lifted her off her feet hating that she was so light now from malnutrition. "Everything's gonna be alright, baby. I promise." Biting back her own pain, Tamara continued on through the trees. Finally she broke through the tree-cover and scrub to step out onto a small bank overlooking a road. Tears of relief flooded her eyes and Tamara carefully climbed down the embankment and onto the road. She knew it was a dangerous move stepping out of the relative safety of the trees but this was her best bet to try and hail down a car, if there were any left she thought gravely.

An hour later they had to stop. Lacy had fallen into an exhausted sleep in Tamara's arms a half an hour before and the small woman was about to do the same. She stopped, swaying a little where she stood. That's when she heard the sound that sent a chill of fear through her whole body, the shuffling steps and gurgling growl of the walking dead.

Spinning on her heal she pulled the knife from its sheath at her hip. The sight of five walkers moving toward her and Lacy made her want to scream. She knew she didn't have much time. Jostling Lacy a little to wake her up she moved toward the embankment again, "Sweetie, look at me." The little girl sensed the urgency in her voice and hearing the sounds of the dead, the little girl tried to look behind Tamara.

Shaking her head, Tamara kept a hand on the little girl's head to keep her face tucked into her neck, "It's okay, baby. You have to climb this tree, okay?" she asked stopping under a tall tree just at the top of the embankment and turned the little girl to get her as high up into the branches as she could lift her. She spared a few moments to make sure the little redhead climbed up to a safe level before she turned and slid back down the bank, knife in hand to face the oncoming dead. They shuffled forward and Tamara tried to keep her eyes on them and not think about Lacy probably seeing her ripped to pieces by five walkers.

Shaking, Tamara lifted her chin and struck out at the nearest walker before he could lunge at her. Her knife sliced across his rotting face and he fell at her feet never to get up again. Shaking she backed up to the embankment and stood ready. Two of the dead that were the closest lunged at her together. She backed up to try and put some distance between them but her foot caught on a loose rock and she went down hard, her already wounded ribs nearly cracking as both walkers fell on top of her. Her knife found the eye socket of one walker and she managed to get her feet under the torso of the other, kicking it away with as much force as she could manage. It worked in throwing the monster back with enough force to smash its head into the cement road. It didn't move again.

Forcing herself to her feet she realised she wasn't holding her knife just as a bloody hand tangled in her hair and she had to fight off the walker barehanded.

"No!" she screamed trying to push it away when she saw one of the walkers was clawing at the tree where Lacy was hiding. The sound of tyres squealing drowned out the walker that was trying to get at her but Mara didn't have time to think about it. For the second time that day the heel of her boot caught on a loose rock and she went down hard; the walker on top of her.

But before it could even snap at her face with its rotten teeth its body was jerked from on top of her and the end of a large buck knife emerged from its forehead. The body fell and Tamara looked up to see a face she thought she would only ever see again in death.

"Daryl?" his name slipped from between her lips in a wavering moan.

He was over and kneeling in front of her a moment later and then she was pulled roughly into his arms a breath later.

Tamara buried her face against his neck and burst into tears, her hands twisting into the back of his shirt.

Her head jerked up at the sound of Lacy screaming but she relaxed when she saw the large black man holding the squirming little girl set her down on her feet. The child was scared out of her mind and ran straight to Tamara, ignoring everything else, even Daryl as he leant back a little when the bundle of child pushed past him and burrowed against Tamara's chest.

"Someone gonna explain?" a dark haired man asked, a shotgun slung over his shoulder.

Tamara's eyes fell on Daryl's face as he spoke up, his beautiful blue eyes never leaving her green gaze, "This's Tamara. M' wife." He growled out and tears filled Mara's eyes at his gruff but gentle tone. She slipped her fingers from where they had tangled into the hair at the base of his neck and leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his. He still smelled the same, like the woods, smoke and faintly of leather.

Both were brought back to earth by the sound of Lacy whimpering against Tamara's chest, "Momma, Momma."

Tamara held her tighter, "It's okay, Lacy." She whispered glancing back up into Daryl's eyes, "We're safe now."

"She call ya Momma?" Daryl asked, one eyebrow raised.

Swallowing hard and blinking back tears, Tamara nodded, "This is Lacy, Abigail's baby girl. She thinks I'm Abby and I don't have the heart to tell her otherwise." Two large tears broke free and slid down her pale cheeks, the first two since the world had gone to hell and she had lost almost everyone she had loved.

Daryl's callused thumb came up and he carefully wiped both away before nodding slightly. "Can ya walk?"

Tamara nodded, "You might need to help me though." She murmured as she slipped an arm around Lacy's waist. Daryl moved so that he was hunkered down on her right side. She put her arm across his shoulders and he wrapped his arm around her waist, helping her to her feet.

"Ya good?" he asked quietly seeing her wince and bite her lip in pain.

Swallowing hard, Tamara nodded and was about to step away to adjust Lacy on her hip only to have a wave of dizziness warp her vision. The last thing she saw was Daryl's concerned blue eyes above her and then her world tilted and went dark.

* * *

She woke up to the sounds of a heated discussion near her and the feel of a blanket over her. Opening her eyes in the bright sunlight she realised that she was in the back of an RV. It wasn't moving as far as she could tell. There was a large American flag hanging against the window behind her head, trinkets and plastic flower leis were everywhere.

She had about three seconds of panic before she recognised Daryl's voice outside and he was yelling at someone, or a few someones by the sounds of it. "Same man I married." She murmured to herself, before she pushed up into a sitting position and threw off the blanket. Thankfully her clothes were still on, she needed to talk to Daryl before he saw any of the scars and bruises on her body. That was a conversation she was not looking forward to. Seeing that Lacy wasn't in the RV she hoped the little girl was outside. Slowly she forced her aching body to the door of the RV and stepped out to see Lacy wrapped arms and legs around Daryl while he stood glaring at the dark haired man who had asked for an explanation when Tamara was conscious before.

Resisting the urge to go straight to Daryl, Tamara listened to the conversation Daryl and the other man were having, a man dressed in a police officer's uniform standing with them.

"What the hell do you know? She could be bit for all we know!" the dark haired man snarled taking a step toward Daryl and shrugging off the calming hand of the officer as he did.

Tamara saw Lacy tense in Daryl's arms but it was the soft little frightened mewl that was almost lost in the men's fight the did it for her. Taking a deep breath she straightened her spine and stepped out of the RV.

"Screw you." She snarled taking a step toward the taller man. "I ain't bit and you better stop scaring my niece before I do something I might regret." Hearing her voice, Lacy squirmed in Daryl's arms until he put her down on her feet. The little girl ran over and threw her arms around Mara's legs and then promptly burst into tears, Tamara picked her up, rubbing her back to try and calm her down.

"Shane. Leave it." The guy in the uniform told his friend putting his hand on Shane's shoulder again only to have him shrug him off once more.

"The hell I will, Rick." He snarled his eyes on Tamara. "She's bit, I can prove it."

Before she could stop him he strode forward and pulled the collar of her shirt away from her neck roughly revealing the bite mark just below her collar bone on the swell of her right breast.

Tamara was about to slap his hand away when Daryl's hand shot out and he grabbed Shane's wrist twisting it enough to send the man to his knees, Daryl's buck knife now at his throat, "Touch her again an' I won't be so nice." He snarled, eyes hard.

Tamara clenched her jaw seeing the whole group that Daryl had been traveling with tense. "Daryl, don't." she begged gently, and then looked at the men and women around her, "I wasn't bit by a walker." She told them hating that traitorous tears threatened and blurred her vision. She looked up at Daryl's face, he was entirely focused on Shane and his knife at his throat. Taking a deep breath she realised she had to explain, "There are only a few ways for a woman to survive alone. But when a group of three men saved Lacy and I from a pack of walkers they only wanted one thing as payment."

There was a gasp from some of the people in the group and she saw Daryl tense a moment before his gaze snapped to her face.

He let go of Shane a moment later, turning and throwing his fist into the side of the RV with an animalistic yell.

A sob slipped from between Tamara's lips and she buried her face in Lacy's hair her body shaking as she tried to hold back the flood of tears and self-loathing she had fought off for so long.

A soft hand landed on her shoulder and she looked up to see one of the woman from the group, the one with short cropped grey hair, looking at her with tear filled eyes. "I'm so sorry." She said before pulling Tamara and Lacy into a mother-like hug.

That's what broke Tamara, the feeling of that hug. It offered companionship, comfort and spoke of a shared past that somehow only helped sooth her. With a large sob, Tamara collapsed against the woman and clung to her one handed as she wept until her throat was raw and her eyes felt like they were crusted with sand.

When she pulled away it was to see that the men and children had moved a little farther away to give her and the other women a semblance of privacy.

The grey haired woman gently pushed the raven dark hair away from her forehead in another move that reminded Tamara of her now dead mother. Before she could burst into tears again the woman spoke up, "I'm Carol." She pointed to a woman with blonde hair and beautiful aqua eyes, "That's Andrea," motioning to a slim brunette with kind brown eyes Carol introduced them, "Lori, and Jacqui." Jacqui smiled, her dark eyes and skin and the way she held herself reminding Tamara of her best friend, Tanya.

"I'm sorry I told y'all that so plainly." She murmured adjusting Lacy on her hip.

"There was no other way you could have done it, sweetie." Carol assured her. "The others understand that."

Panic washed through Tamara, "Daryl?"

The women shared a look and Lori spoke up, "He walked off into the woods soon after you started crying. He'll probably be back in a little while."

Swallowing her worry, Tamara nodded and then looked between the women, "Is it okay if I put Lacy down for a sleep in the RV and wait for him by his truck?"

Andrea smiled sadly and stepped forward, "I'll take her." She said before gently lifting the now sleeping little girl from Tamara's arms.

Getting a hand up from the rough gravel by both Carol and Lori, Tamara walked carefully over to Daryl's old grey Ford and leaned against it. While she waited for Daryl to come back she looked around her. They weren't at the stretch of road where Daryl and his friends had saved her and Lacy from the walkers and she wondered how long she had been sleeping for.

A few minutes later she was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of trees rustling opposite the truck. She watched at Daryl stepped out of the treeline and walked to his truck, his thumb between his teeth as he chewed on it in a habit she knew meant he was angry and felt powerless to do anything.

Seeing her he dropped his thumb from his lips and he ignored her, turning his eyes onto the truck while he swung his crossbow through the open window and dropped it on the passenger seat.

He went to walk past her without giving her a second glance but Tamara wasn't about to let him do it. She pushed off the side of the truck and grabbed the front of his checked shirt, its ripped off sleeves and well-worn material reminding her of home. Pulling him to her she pushed up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his.

It only took a moment for him to respond but it was the longest moment of Mara's life. And then he was there, wrapping those amazing strong arms of his around her, his body leaning into hers as his feet stepped to either side of hers. After a moment his tongue slipped across her bottom lip demanding entrance. Knowing they had no privacy she tried to pull away only to have Daryl's large hand slide up her back to wrap into the hair at the nape of her neck and cradle her head, keeping her lips against his for a moment longer before he broke the kiss.

Tamara's gaze collided with his sharp blue gaze and she felt as if all the air in her lungs disappeared.

"Thought I'd lost you, girl."

Those five words conveyed how much pain he had been going through better than anything else ever could.

"I ain't leaving again." She murmured cradling his face between her hands, "I swear. The only way I'll ever leave again is if -."

He didn't let her finish her sentence, his mouth covering hers in a kiss that promised amazing things when they were alone.

When they broke apart this time Tamara could hardly think straight.

"Git in the truck, 'Mara." He all but growled before moving away to talk to the man in uniform.

Doing as he said Tamara watched as he listened to the others talking before making his way back to the truck.

"We leaving?" she asked when he swung up into the cab and slammed his door behind him.

Daryl's answer was to turn the keys in the ignition and then pull Tamara across the leather bench seat to sit against his side. She relaxed into his warm body as the convoy pulled off the side of the road and continued on their way.

They drove in silence for a while before Tamara couldn't take any more and turned her head to press her lips to Daryl's neck just below his ear.

She saw his hand tighten on the staring wheel before he spoke up, his voice gruff, "Ya keep doin' that an' I ain't gonna be able ta drive straight."

With a smile Tamara tucked her now flaming face against his shoulder, "Then talk to me so that I don't feel like distracting you for a while."

Daryl's eyes flickered to her before he looked back out at the road and car in front of them, "What ya want ta know?" he asked.

"What have you been doing for the three months I've been gone?" she asked him quietly not sure if she really wanted to know.

He glanced at her again before explaining how he and Merle had survived out in the woods for nearly two weeks when they came across the group he was with now. He told them all their names and who they were. Rick Grimes and Lori were married and had a son, Carl. Carol's daughter was Sophia, her husband Ed had died two days before when the camp was attacked by a group of walkers. Shane Walsh was friends with Rick and his family, Dale owned the RV, and Andrea had a sister, Amy until two nights ago. The black man was T-Dog while Glenn was the Korean guy, not a Chinaman (he was insistent on this and Mara knew Glenn must have impressed him in some way for Daryl to insist on this).

When the explanations were done Tamara asked a hard question, but it was one she needed the answer to, "Why did you have to leave that night?"

Daryl's answered her, "Ya made me mad as hell that night, girl. Didn't want ta take it out on ya. We needed supplies and I needed out for a bit. If I'd a known what was comin' I'd never have gone." The fingers of the arm Daryl had slung over her shoulder as soon as she was pressed against his side twisted into her black waves and his jaw worked, the muscle moving under the skin of his cheek, "Was out getting' supplies when I got attacked by a family that had been bit. Tried ta get home ta find ya but only found Merle. He said ya went ta yer sister's. When we made it there four days later, ya weren't there. The rest of them…"

He stopped when she tensed against him, "Abby was attacked out in the garden. Braden told me to get Lacy and run. I never looked back but I heard him screaming. Even the dog." Her voice broke and she stopped shaking as she curled against his side and cried for the family she and Lacy had lost. When she finally calmed down enough to speak she took a breath and asked the question she knew he didn't want to hear, "Where's Merle, Daryl?"

His whole body tensed and it took him a few minutes to answer. When he explained everything from Merle fighting with the others when they went on a run to him being handcuffed to a pipe on the roof, then cutting off his own hand to get free before disappearing after he had cauterised it; Tamara knew he wouldn't want to talk any more. So she pulled her legs up under her, pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips and then closed her eyes to catch up on her sleep.

When she opened her eyes again it was to the sight of a completely ruined city and hundreds of dead corpses rotting on the ground.

"Where are we?" she asked in a small voice.

Daryl glanced down at her before returning his eyes to the road, "Atlanta. Goin' to the CDC ta see if there's somewhere safe for us." He explained as he pulled the truck up to the curb and parked it.

Tamara uncurled her legs from underneath her and then turned to suddenly pull Daryl into a slow, soft kiss.

"What's that for?" he asked when she pulled away.

She blushed a little but held his gaze, "Making sure you ain't a dream, baby." Was all she said before she gave him a small smile and then turned to climb out of the truck.

The stench of death and decay hit her like a wall as soon as she stepped out of the truck. Putting a hand over her nose and mouth she moved up the line of vehicles to the RV and stepped inside to pick Lacy up and make sure she was listening, "You have to be very quiet, okay honey?" At the little girl's nod she continued, "It's not gonna smell very nice out there but you have to be brave for me, can you do that, Lacy?"

The little girl gave her a wide-eyed nod, "Yes Momma."

"Good girl." Tamara murmured before she gently pressed a cloth against the small child's nose and then let her lay her head on her shoulder, her face against her neck. Satisfied that she was as protected as she could be, Tamara walked to the door of the RV and gratefully accepted Dale's hand down to the pavement. Lacy curled tighter against her as the group moved away from the vehicles and toward the large CDC building in front of them. Flies buzzed over everything and Tamara took a step back at one point only to feel Daryl's hand at the small of her back.

"Keep movin', girl. Go on now." He murmured keeping his hand against her back. The feel of him beside her and the sight of his crossbow in his hand helped Tamara feel safe even if she was picking her way through what looked to be hundreds if not thousands of corpses

Everyone had a cloth or their hand to their nose and they all tried to smother coughs but it was no use in the stench.

Lacy whimpered slightly in Tamara's arms and the small brunette wrapped her arms around her tighter to help her feel safe.

The men stayed in a loose circle around the women and children as they made their way to the CDC building, weapons raised and eyes moving over everything in case there were walkers around.

"Stay close everybody. Shh." Rick murmured as did Shane.

All Tamara could do was pray that they would be able to find somewhere safe.

They finally got to the doors only to find that they were barred by metal roller doors. Rick and Shane tried to get them to open but they were locked.

Tamara's heart sunk as they looked around.

"There's no body here." T-Dog said.

"Then why are these shutters down?" Rick asked looking at the doors barring them entry.

"Walkers!" Daryl's warning made Tamara spin to see a walker headed toward them and Daryl stepping between her and Lacy to shoot an arrow into the walking dead's head. The children started to panic and Tamara knew that according to the pain in her sides she would never be able to keep up with the group if they had to run.

"Let's move. Wrong call." Daryl all but yelled turning to move toward Rick ignoring Tamara's hand reaching out to stop him. "It was the wrong damn call!"

Shane stepped up, pointing a finger in Daryl's face, "Shut up. Shut up!" he snarled before pushing him back and then turning to Rick, "Rick this is a dead end."

Tamara moved to Daryl's side needing to be near him even if she couldn't curl into him.

"Where are we gonna go?" Carol asked holding Sophia to her tightly.

Tamara kept her right side to the CDC building so that Lacy wouldn't be able to see any walkers if more came. She tried block out the panic of the others and just tried to focus on keeping the little girl in her arms as calm as possible. Daryl slipped past her and Lacy to lift his crossbow to his shoulder and keep on the lookout for more walkers. She watched as if in a dream as the group started to panic and fragment, Shane, Glenn, Dale and T-Dog trying to keep it together while the women and children looked around, terror filled cries coming from everyone there.

Suddenly Rick's voice cut across the panicked cries, "The camera, it moved."

Shane tried to talk Rick out of staying but the sheriff started to yell at the camera. All that Tamara could hear was his anguished cry of 'you're killing us, you're killing us!'

She felt Glenn pulling on her arm, trying to get her to follow the group but she couldn't, her legs gave out and she fell to her knees a moment before there was a loud screech and one of the metal roller doors slid up, bright artificial light spilling out across the pavement and nearly blinding everyone there.

The group moved quickly stepping in through the now open door. Daryl pulled Tamara roughly to her feet and towed her behind him into the large open lobby beyond the light, handing her over to Carol he raised his crossbow and kept an eye on the group's six while the other men looked for any help or anyone in the large lobby.

"Hello?" a voice yelled from a hall that led back into the building in front of them. The men raised their guns but the stranger had a gun too. "Anybody infected?" he asked loudly, calling over the distance between them.

"One of our group was." Rick told him, "He didn't make it."

The man moved forward and Daryl took a step toward Tamara, "Why are you here? What do you want?" the stranger asked.

"A chance." Rick told him.

"That's asking an awful lot these days." The man moved toward the group and Tamara had to rub Lacy's back a little to keep her from crying.

"I know." Rick said and the desperation in his voice echoed what everyone in their group was feeling.

The man looked over them before speaking up once again, "You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission."

Tamara tensed at the words hating that she would have to explain to Lacy why they had to take her blood when the little girl was so fragile but she knew that if this was the only way they could survive then she would gladly do it.

"We can do that." Rick nodded, still keeping his rifle ready just in case.

The stranger suddenly dropped his gun down and slung it over his shoulder walking toward them and pointing to the door they had just entered, "You got stuff to bring in you do it now. Once this door closes it stays closed."

The men moved quickly, Daryl handed Tamara the rifle he had slung over his shoulder and then followed Rick, Shane, and Glenn back out to the vehicles to get their bags. They moved quickly and jogged back to the building and through the doors T-Dog and Dale held open for them less than fifteen minutes later.

Once they were in, the man who had let them in swiped a card and then spoke to someone called Vi in a loud voice, "Vi, seal the main entrance and cut the power up here." He ordered before leading the exhausted group away from the doors.

"Rick Grimes. "Rick introduced himself.

"Doctor Edwin Jenner." Their saviour answered before leading them down the corridor where they had first seen him emerge. At the end was a large elevator. The group and the doctor piled in and Mara slipped in beside Daryl, pressing into his side as Lacy curled her fingers around his collar, the first thing she touched when they stood together.

Tamara smiled up at him even though he looked a little uncomfortable to have the little girl looking to him for comfort. The look in his eyes asked, 'Ya good?' and Tamara nodded, pressing into his side a little more as the exhaustion from the past three months caught up with her.

Sensing the unease in the elevator, Daryl spoke up when no one else would, "Doctors always go around packin' heat like that?" he asked glancing at the large military grade rifle Doctor Jenner had.

"Well, there were plenty left lying around, I familiarised myself." He told them smiling a little which helped Tamara trust him a little more. His eyes swept the small moving room. "But you look harmless enough." His gaze fell on Carl and his smile widened a little, "Except you. I'm gonna have to keep my eye on you." He told the little boy getting a small smile from him for his effort.

The elevator stopped a short time later and the group stepped out into a white, almost sterile looking hallway. They followed Jenner down it.

"Are we underground?" Carol spoke up.

Jenner turned to look at her over his shoulder, "You claustrophobic?"

"A little." She admitted.

"Try not to think about it." He advised kindly.

As they walked Daryl swung his rifle over his shoulder before transferring his crossbow to his right hand. Tamara's hand slipped into his when she saw what he had done, knowing he did it because he was worried she wasn't going to be able to carry Lacy without help for much longer and they were in this new environment he didn't trust was safe yet.

They made it to the end of the hall and Jenner spoke out loud again, "Vi, bring up the lights in the big room." He ordered.

The huge room in front of them was suddenly illuminated by florescent light. The ramp they were now standing on angled down to a large round platform in the middle of the room with work stations and computers sitting on top.

"Welcome to Zone 5." Jenner told the group before leading them down to the platform.

"Where is everybody?" Rick asked as they followed him. "The other doctors, the staff?"

"I'm it." Jenner told them. "It's just me here."

Lori spoke up then, "What about the person you were speaking with? Vi?"

Jenner lifted his voice, "Vi. Say hello to our guests. Tell them, welcome."

A disembodied voice sounded from all around them, "Hello guests." It spoke in a vaguely robotic tone. "Welcome."

Jenner looked at Rick and then the rest of the group, "I'm all that's left." Seeing the hopeless looks of the people around him Jenner sighed, "I'm sorry."

Tamara felt her body start to shake as the adrenalin that had kept her going seeped away and Lacy's weight became almost too much. Feeling her struggle, Daryl swore softly under his breath and put his crossbow down to lean against his right leg. Lifting Lacy from her grasp he settle the little girl on his right hip with her head on his shoulder, handed Tamara his crossbow and wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her tight against his side.

Feeling the light weight of the crossbow settle into her palm, Tamara leaned her head against Daryl's shoulder needing the comfort he provided. She listened to the conversation going on between the rest of the group and Doctor Jenner as Daryl's heart beat and heat lulled her into a sense of peace and safety she hadn't felt since the world as she knew it ended.

Jenner turned from the group to lead them to what looked to be a small lecture theatre or conference room off the 'big room' as he had called it. He left them for a minute to get the supplies he needed to take samples of their blood. While he was gone Daryl helped Tamara to one of the rows of chairs facing a whiteboard at one end of the room. She sat down and took Lacy from his arms, letting the little girl lay sideways on her lap explaining gently what was going to happen next so that she wouldn't be too scared.

"The three of you should go first so that she doesn't have to worry about it." Lori murmured gently seeing the desperation on Tamara's face when the little girl started to cry again against her shoulder.

Tamara nodded thankfully and when Doctor Jenner came back she, Daryl and Lacy moved forward to the two chairs and the table he had set up.

Daryl sat in the chair opposite Jenner and held out his arm. Mara whispered in the little girl's ear explaining what was happening and that Uncle Daryl was okay when it was over. Then she sat with the small girl in her lap and helped her hold out her arm for Jenner. She only squirmed a little and whimpered when the needle first went into her arm but other than that she was fine.

Carol took Lacy out of Tamara's arms when Jenner was finished with her so that she could have her blood drawn. Sensing Daryl hovering behind her, Tamara sat back in the chair and closed her eyes until it was over. Once her arm was free and she had a little white Band-Aid over the small puncture wound, Tamara went to get up from the chair. She only took one step before her head swam and her hand shot out to twist into the front of Daryl's shirt before she could fall.

His large, rough hands caught her wrist and the upper part of her other arm and he closed the distance between them quickly as her eyes screwed shut, "How long since ya eaten, girl?" he asked gruffly.

Tamara took a deep breath and let it out slowly before she opened her eyes and looked up at him, "Four days if a hand-full of berries three days ago don't count." She murmured ignoring the angry look he shot Jenner. "You're gonna have to help me back to my seat." She added softly.

Body tense with anger at not being there to help her before or able to help her now, Daryl guided Tamara back to her seat, not letting Lacy go to her so that she could rest. Instead he lifted the small girl up into his arms and leant back against the wall beside Tamara to watch as one by one the others in their group had blood drawn.

Once everyone was finished Jenner collected up the samples and led the group back through the 'big room' to a different corridor until they came to what could only be a cafeteria.

"Eat as much as you need to. There's soda for the kids and wine or water if you want. I'll put these samples in the lab and come and join you."

As soon as he was gone the group converged on the room. Glenn and T-Dog pushed tables together for them to eat at while Jacqui made sure Tamara and Andrea sat down, both having almost feinted after their blood was taken. Lacy stared in wonder at the soda machine before Sophia and Carl moved to Tamara's side.

"Can we get her a drink, Ma'am?" Carl asked politely motioning toward Lacy where she was holding Sophia's hand.

Tamara smiled gratefully, "Thank you, sweetie. That would be wonderful if you could do that. And you don't have to call me Ma'am. Makes me feel old." She grinned at both children receiving smiles back. "Tamara's fine."

"Yes Ma'a… Okay, Tamara." Sophia said shyly.

They led the little girl away and found some paper cups to fill.

Daryl appeared at Tamara's side, a cup filled with her favourite, Pink Lemonade. Handing it to her he handed another to Andrea and then waited, hunkered down at Tamara's side until she had finished the sweet but refreshing drink. It wasn't as cold as she had hoped but the minute the sugary sweet hit her tongue she didn't care.

Carol, Lori and Jacqui set to making whatever they could from the packets of food they found. Soon the smell of pasta, cheese sauce and rehydrated mixed vegetables filled the room.

When Jenner got back the group had set out glasses, silver ware and plates and a large pot of food was sitting in the middle of the table, steam rising from its contents.

Once everyone was seated Dale led the group in prayer, he said a small part for the ones they'd lost and Tamara gripped Daryl's hand under the table. However, once the last Amen was said the group quickly dished out the food, Glenn and T-Dog opened the first three wine bottles and poured everyone a glass.

After her first Tamara refused any more, hoping that one hadn't made her loopy, and went back to just Pink Lemonade.

Soon conversation turned to sharing funny stories and with the addition of alcohol, the room was soon filled with the laughter of everyone there.

Daryl had moved to hitch one hip on a bench against the wall behind Tamara and Lacy's chairs and had a bottle of wine all to himself. Glenn did the same on the other side of the table behind T-Dog but didn't look to be in as much of a hurry to finish his wine as Daryl was.

As Dale poured another glass for Lori he started to speak, "Did you know that in Italy children have a bit of wine at dinner, and in France." He told her nodding at Carl who was seated between his parents.

Tamara couldn't help but laugh into her hand at his large smile and almost slurred speech, he was well on his way to being drunk.

Lori shook her head and covered her son's glass, "When Carl is in Italy or France he can have some then." She said before sipping her own drink.

"What's it gonna hurt, come on?" Rick said with a smile and a mischievous glint in his eye as he looked at his wife. "Come on."

Lori smiled and then shrugged taking her hand from the glass.

The group started to laugh as Dale poured a small amount of the red wine into the glass and handed it back to a clearly eager Carl.

Everyone sat and watched silently as the small boy tipped the glass up and took a sip before making a disgusted face, "Ewww!" Was all he said before Lori took the glass from him and poured the rest of the wine into her own glass, "That's my boy." She said proudly.

"Yeah, well. You stick to soda-pop there, Bud." Shane said glancing at Lori and then Carl.

"Not you, Glenn." Daryl said sauntering over to the table to pour a good amount of wine into Tamara's cup ignoring her hand trying to wave him away.

"What?" the young Asian man asked.

"I wanna see how red your face can get." Daryl told him, his tone teasing as the group laughed.

Tamara succeeded in tipping his bottle up and pushing it away from her glass before it was over half full and then pushed at his hip to make him leave her glass alone and go and sit back at the bench.

As the laughter died down some, Rick tapped his glass with his knife to get the attention of the group as he stood up, "It seems to me that we haven't thanked our host properly." He told them as he stood a little unsteadily on his feet.

"He's more than just our host." T-Dog slurred raising his glass to Jenner.

"Hear, hear." A few of the group said as everyone raised their glasses to him.

"Boo-yah!" Daryl added raising his bottle before he walked back to lean on the back of Tamara's chair.

Boo-yahs rand out around the room as Jenner saluted them with his own glass.

"So when you goin' to tell us what happened here Doc?" Shane asked and immediately the room quietened and the mood became oppressive. "All the, ah, other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened. Where are they?" Shane continued.

"We're celebrating." Rick spoke up, "Don't need to do this now." He told his friend sitting back down.

"Wait a second." Shane said, "This is why we're here, right? This was your move." He said and Tamara realised his words had a bitter tone to them, "S'pposed to find all the answers. Instead we found him." He scoffed pointing to Jenner. "Found one man. Why?" he turned to Jenner for answers.

Tamara moved uncomfortably in her seat having an idea of what the doctor's answer would be and not really wanting to hear it. The feel of Daryl leaning his hip against the back of her chair made her lean back against him and steel herself for Jenner's answer.

"Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just left. Went off to be with their families." Jenner looked around the room at each of the people he had allowed into the CDC, "And when things got really rough, when the military cordon got over-run, the rest bolted."

Shane scoffed again and Mara started to dislike him even more, "Every last one?"

"No." Jenner said softly. "Many couldn't face walking out the door. They…opted out."

Tamara flinched at his words remembering when she was desperate enough to entertain that idea. She looked down at the little girl in her arms, a spoon clenched tightly in her little fist, food smeared around her mouth and a paper napkin crane Glenn had made for her being pushed carelessly around her plate, the sight of that and the feel of Daryl's solid body behind her helping to keep her nightmares at bay. Carol caught her eye and she saw the same look mirrored in her face as she knew was written all over her own. This woman knew what she felt and she wanted to be held by her again.

"There was a rash of suicides." Jenner's quiet but deep voice continued as Tamara lowered her head and blinked back tears. "It was a bad time." He added his voice wavering a little with emotion.

"You stayed. Why?" Andrea asked him.

"I just kept working. Hoping to do some good." He said nodding a little.

In the lull that followed that revelation Glenn made his way back to his seat and looked at Shane as he sat down, "Dude, you are such a buzz-kill, man." He accused.

Dinner finished then. After everyone pitched in to clean up Jenner led them to where they would be staying.

"Most of the facilities are powered down, including housing." He said as he led them down a corridor with doors on either side.

Through these open doors Mara could see what were office spaces with desks in one corner, and a blue couch against either wall. Each room was exactly the same.

"Couches are comfortable." Jenner told them. "But there are cots in storage if you like." He pointed further down the corridor, "There's a rec. room down the hall that you kids might enjoy." He turned to look at the group following him before talking to the kids, "Don't plug in the video game okay?" they nodded. "Or anything that draws power." He then looked at all the adults behind them, "Same applies. If you shower, go easy on the hot water." And then he walked down a side corridor.

Glenn turned to the group, a wide dreamy smile splitting his face, "Hot water?" he asked before turning to T-Dog who was standing beside him.

"That's what the man said." T-Dog smiled wide and happy.

Each group split off to find a room to bunk down in.

Tamara slipped into the room closest to her and put down the bundle of blankets and pillows Jenner had handed out before they walked to this hallway. She quickly made up a bed for Lacy and helped the little girl slip off her boots before she tucked her in to sleep. She gently rubbed her back trying to ignore the feeling of Daryl's eyes on her.

He had followed her into the room, closing the door behind them. His bow and rifle were propped up in the corner near the door just in case and then he leaned against the wall beside the door, folded his arms across his chest and just watched her.

When Lacy was finally asleep Tamara grabbed a towel and a change of spare clothes from her bag – a pair of sweatpants, an old t-shirt that had once been Daryl's and extra underwear. Each room had an en suite bathroom and Tamara slipped into theirs her mind blank of what she could say to Daryl, she didn't know if she could stomach explaining everything to him tonight but she knew he needed an explanation.

Putting her clothes down on the sink beside the shower she turned on the water and stripped out of her filthy clothes as the water heated. Pulling the elastic band form her dark hair she left it on top of her clothes as she stepped under the spray, closing the frosted shower door behind her.

A few minutes later she heard the bathroom door open and her heart jumped into her throat. She stayed silent as Daryl moved around in the bathroom. Her heart started to pound when she heard the soft rustle of him taking off his clothes. A few moments later the shower door opened and he slipped into the stall behind her. She knew he saw every mark on her because he stopped for a moment before closing the door behind him.

"Turn 'round, girl."

His voice was gentle but Tamara still squeezed her eyes shut as she turned to him, her face turned to the side and her lips pressed together to bite back tears. She knew he saw every one of her bruises and scars. Most were from her fight with the walkers earlier that day and from running from a walker the day before but there were also bruises that looked like long thick fingers around her hips and bruises on her inner thighs. As well as the bite mark above her left breast there were long scratches on her back and bruises ringing her wrists. The large scar on her left side was from her first run in with a pack of walkers. She had run from them with Lacy and then fallen into a ditch ripping her side open in the fall. That was when she and her niece had been saved by a man and woman. They had patched her up, taught her how to fight off the walkers and then given her the knife and some provisions. Their small camp was attacked by a group of men one night two weeks after they had helped her and Tamara and Lacy had barely got away. The couple weren't so lucky.

The feel of Daryl's calloused fingers brushing over her hair and then to the back of her neck to pull her against him had Tamara's carefully cultivated mask slipping. And then when his lips ghosted over her temple she couldn't help it, she burst into tears and this time she wasn't crying for those she'd lost, she was crying for herself and for the pain she had gone through.

Daryl held her until she calmed down and then he spoke, "If I'd a been there I'd a ripped those sons a bitches ta pieces." He growled against her hair.

Tamara shook her head and looked up at him. Seeing the rage in him and the glazed look his eyes had taken on she knew he was thinking of what he could have done to the men that had attacked her.

She shook her head again, "You can't do anything now Daryl." She murmured to him a hand on his cheek. "Come back to me." She whispered her fingers brushing over his cheek and her other hand lying against his chest over his heart, slowly bringing him back to the present. Her eyes filled with sadness at the anger that had his whole body tense and on the verge of shaking. "Make me forget them." She said pulling his head down until their foreheads were pressed together, "Love me, Daryl. Please."

His mouth caught hers in a fiery kiss and they found a rhythm that was so much a part of both of them now. And for the next few minutes there was nothing else in the world but them.

When they left the bathroom Tamara knocked on the door across from theirs, plaiting her wet hair over one shoulder to keep it out of her eyes as she waited. Jacqui opened her door a few moments later. "Do you mind watching Lacy for a while? Daryl and I aren't very tired but we don't want to leave her."

Jacqui smiled knowingly. "Course, sweetheart. You two go and have some time alone." She smiled at Daryl over Tamara's shoulder as he left their room now dressed in a fresh shirt (still with its sleeves hacked off), a bottle of wine in his hand and his hair still damp from the shower he and Tamara had just shared.

He smirked suddenly, on the verge of being completely drunk and threw his arm over Tamara's shoulder saluting Jacqui with the bottle in his hand.

Tamara smiled around the blush that had climbed her cheeks at Jacqui's knowing look, "Thank you." She murmured to the other woman and then let Daryl drag her toward the end of the hall and through the rec. room door. She stopped when she saw Carol, Carl and Sophia. Carol was sitting on one of the soft blue couches while the two children played checkers at the coffee table in front of her.

Her blush worsened when Daryl pressed his lips to her neck just as Carol looked up from the book she was reading.

The older woman smiled, "I see the two of you are making up for lost time." She said.

"Ya know it." Daryl growled in Tamara's ear making her cheeks flame.

She elbowed him in the stomach before waving at the two kids and Carol and all but dragging her drunk husband out of the room smiling weakly at Lori as they passed her.

She led him in the opposite direction from the rec. room and down a different corridor. They only made it a few feet down another corridor to the right before Daryl pulled her back against his chest as he leant against the wall.

"You're drunk, baby." She said with a smile as he nuzzled her neck again, his lips burning a trail from her collarbone to the soft skin just under her right ear.

"Sober 'nough ta find us a nice quiet room before I love ya again." He growled heatedly in her ear.

Excitement and lust flared in her belly and climbed her spine. Pressing back against his hard chest she sighed, "Promises, promises."

Daryl growled at the challenge and then took a long pull from his bottle of wine before he caught her chin and turned her head so that he could kiss her lips.

"Crap!"

The sound of Glenn's voice had Tamara slipping from Daryl's grasp and turning to see him and T-Dog standing open-mouthed at the corner of the hall she and Daryl had just turned down.

"Take a picture, lasts longer, kid." Daryl snarled before bobbing down to catch Tamara around the thighs. Before she knew what was happening her world was turned upside down and Daryl was carrying her over his shoulder toward the end of the hall.

Giddy on the taste of her husband's lips and the wine she had had with dinner Tamara planted her hands on Daryl's back throwing her plait over her shoulder with a flick of her head and waved at Glenn and T-Dog a grin splitting her pretty face as Daryl stopped at an office down the end of the hall and stepped into the darkened room. She was deposited on the couch inside and then the light was switched on, the door was kicked closed and Daryl snapped the lock closed before he reached behind his head one-handed and pulled off his shirt.

Tamara found it hard to breathe when he moved to lean over her, shirtless, blue eyes darkened to navy by desire.

She took the wine bottle from him and chugged down a few gulps before she put it down by the couch and reached up to tangle her fingers into his hair pulling him down on top of her.

After, they lay together on the couch, Daryl's body curled around hers as she faced him.

"How'd ya get away?"

The question was quiet; Tamara looked up to see Daryl's eyes closed, his fingers curling into her hair as she pressed her forehead to his chest. She knew what he was talking about but didn't know if she wanted to tell him. Making the decision that he deserved to know even if he wouldn't ask her again, she took a breath and launched into her explanation, "Lacy and I had made camp after trekking through the woods for most of the day. I'd taught her that she needed to run and climb a tree if we were attacked. I didn't even hear them, just woke up when one grabbed me and put his hand over my mouth. Lacy moved quickly when she heard them. Scaled a tree before I could try and scream. Then the second one grabbed my legs and I knew what they'd do. I tried to fight but they said that they'd hurt Lacy if I did so I just lay quiet, hoping they'd take what they wanted and leave." She stopped to take a few breaths and calm down feeling Daryl tense beside her. To distract herself she smoothed her fingers over the tattoo on his chest, it was of her name. When he finally relaxed and she trusted her voice enough to speak she continued, "Two of them held me down while the other one kept an eye out for walkers. When the first one was…done," she paused to take another calming breath and swallow around the throbbing knot in her throat that told her she was close to crying again, "When he was done he went to swap with the one looking out. I think he was their leader so when I heard the other one tell the third to get Lacy out of the tree, he wanted her too, I lost it. I was going to let them take what they wanted and then pray that they left but then he wanted Lacy and I knew what they would do to her." Hands shaking she burrowed against Daryl's chest and took a moment to block the memories from that night out of her thoughts. "When the other one let go of me I managed to flip the second one over, pull out the knife in my boot and then it was in his stomach and I pushed it up and his belly and chest unzipped. The other one came back and I got him in the throat. He bled out. Then the leader came back and started hitting me. We both fell to the ground and my hand found this rock and then I couldn't stop hitting him in the head. I grabbed Lacy and we ran. I-I don't remember what happened next but when I stopped running, Lacy was crying against my shoulder and we were both covered in blood." Tears slid down her cheeks. "Everywhere hurt and then a walker found us and I killed it. We kept running after that. I didn't trust groups anymore and we were okay until our food ran out four days ago." She stopped abruptly, exhausted and feeling dirty again.

Daryl didn't say anything just wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close to his body as he could. They lay like that for a long time, until Daryl's muscles loosened and the shaking that had taken over Tamara's body as she told the story stopped.

Finally they both got up and dressed again, sharing the rest of the bottle of wine as they walked back to their room, Daryl's arm around her shoulders and her arms around his waist.

Thanking Jacqui for looking after Lacy, Tamara quickly made up the second couch for her and Daryl and then slipped under the covers as he turned off the light and picked up his rifle to put it in arms reach on the floor. He then slipped into the makeshift bed behind Tamara and wrapped his arms around her, the couple falling asleep entwined.

The next morning Tamara woke up to Daryl groaning as Lacy climbed over him to snuggle down in the curve of Tamara's body.

"Damn kid." He grumbled his hand sliding up Tamara's thigh to her waist. She caught his wrist before that hand of his could travel any further north.

Goosebumps came up where Daryl pressed his lips on the back of Tamara's neck. She felt him smirk against her skin and then jumped lightly when his hand slipped quickly down and then under her t-shirt to slide across her stomach.

Arching back into him she sighed contentedly before the quiet of the room was interrupted by the loud gurgle of her stomach. Lacy giggled and then Daryl kissed her neck again before getting up to sit on the edge of the couch, stretching his arms above his head.

"Where are you goin'?" Tamara asked looking at him over her shoulder as Lacy sat up in the protective embrace of her arms.

Daryl grabbed his jeans and shirt from the floor and pulled them on, "My girls need ta eat." He gently smacked Tamara's back side, "So let's eat."

Lacy held out her hands to Daryl as he stood up, "Unc' Darl." She demanded opening and closing her fists at him.

Knowing what she wanted, Daryl picked her up and propped her up on his hip, "Comin'?" he asked Tamara as she stretched under the covers, his eyes running the length of her body when she kicked the blanket and the sheet off and stretched again.

"Yeah, yeah." His dark haired wife grumbled before she swung her feet over the edge of the couch and stood up.

They left the room, Daryl carrying Lacy and Tamara pulling the tie from her plait and unravelling her dark waves with graceful fingers.

They made it to the cafeteria as T-Dog served a suffering Glenn some powdered eggs.

"Protein helps the hangover." T-Dog assured Glenn as he spooned some eggs onto his plate.

All Glenn could muster was a loud, long groan of pain.

"Where'd all this come from?" Rick asked Lori holding up a small bottle of aspirin.

"Jenner. He thought we could use it. Some of us at least." Lori explained before taking the bottle from her husband and opening it for him.

Daryl ignored the looks Jacqui, Carol and T-Dog were sending their way as he sat Lacy down beside Sophia and sat down with a seat between them.

"Don't ever, ever, ever let me drink again." Glenn groaned.

Tamara got Daryl and Lacy plates and some of the eggs and bacon T-Dog was dishing out before she got her own, sitting down to a glass of rehydrated milk and some scrambled eggs. Daryl finished before she did and moved his chair so that he was sitting backwards on it, and it was almost right behind her his arm along the back of her chair as she helped Lacy drink her milk and finish her breakfast.

"Hey." Rick greeted Andrea and Shane as they entered the cafeteria, "Feel as bad as I do?" he asked his friend.

"Worse." Was Shane's reply.

Tamara looked up and saw that Lori was intent on keeping her eyes on her plate even though she wasn't eating anything.

"The hell happen to you?" T-dog asked Shane looking worried for a second. "Your neck?"

Shane sat down at the opposite end of the table to Rick. "Must a done it in my sleep." He said gruffly.

Tamara looked over and saw the scratches on his neck. Her stomach dropped and the bite of eggs she had just taken soured on her tongue. She knew exactly what those three long scratches on his neck were from and her gaze snapped to Lori even as Rick said casually, "Never seen you do that before."

Tamara put her fork down on her plate and turned to check on Lacy even as she felt Daryl's hand on her back silently asking her what was wrong.

"Me neither." Shane lied. "Not like me at all." He sighed but Tamara looked up to see he was looking straight at Lori who glanced up and then away sharply.

Unable to sit anymore, Tamara gently wiped Lacy's mouth and lifted her from her seat, "Let's go have a shower, baby girl." She murmured to the three year old as she put her down on the ground and took her hand, leading her slowly from the room.

The others finished their breakfast and Tamara came back into the cafeteria with Lacy a few minutes later. The little girl's hair was damp and her skin was a beautiful pink from being scrubbed clean. She went over to Carol and sat on her lap as Tamara took her seat beside Daryl again. She shook her head at his questioning look and leant over to kiss his cheek softly, "I'll tell you later." She promised as she pulled away to sit back and drink a cup of coffee.

When Jenner came in he was greeted by the others and then made his way to the coffee machine.

Dale spoke up, "Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing." He said scratching his head.

"But you will anyway." Jenner murmured as he poured his coffee.

Andrea spoke up then, "We didn't come here for the eggs." She said right away.

Everyone else looked up as Jenner turned to the table. He nodded, "You all want answers. They're in the 'big room'."

The group followed him back to the big room they had seen the day before and then up onto the platform. He walked to a centre consul that faced the large screen on the wall and spoke to Vi, "Give me playback of TS-19."

"Playback of TS-19." The robotic voice echoed as the screen came to life.

Tamara leaned against the side of one consul near the front of the group, Lacy sitting at her feet to play with a new napkin crane Glenn had folded shakily for her, Daryl leaning his forearms on top of the consul beside her.

Jenner turned to them and spoke, "Few people have seen this." He started. "Very few." The picture came up on the screen of a human head and then the brain inside.

"Is that a brain?" Carl asked Jenner.

"An extraordinary one." Jenner told him with a small smile. "Not that it matters in the end. Take us for an I.V." he ordered Vi.

"Internal view." Vi said as the picture tilted and became a side view of the human head and brain. The picture moved forward into the brain until it stopped showing lights pulsing along connected channels.

"What are those lights?" Shane asked staring at the picture.

"It's a person's life. Experiences, memories, everything." Jenner told them. "Somewhere in all that organic wiring, in all those ripples of light is you," he pointed to Rick. "The thing that makes you unique, makes you human."

Tamara was mesmerised by the lights flickering through the brain showing life in its most complex form.

Daryl stepped back, his arms folded across his chest as he moved from foot to foot, "You gonna make sense ever?" he asked.

"Those are synapsis. Electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does, or thinks from the moment of birth till the moment of death."

"Death?" Rick asked moving toward Jenner who looked to be mesmerised by the image on the screen, "That's what this is, a vigil?"

"Yes." Jenner murmured before he came back to himself, "Or rather the playback of a vigil."

"This person died?" Andrea asked softly. "Who?"

Jenner's gaze never left the screen, "Test subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected and volunteered to have us record the process." He spoke to the room again, "Vi, scan forward to the first event."

"Scanning to first event."

The picture zoomed out until they were looking at the x-ray like video of the scull and brain.

In horror Tamara watched as black tendrils appeared in the brain moving from the spinal cord up into the centre of the brain.

"What is that?" Glenn asked.

"It invades the brain like meningitis." Jenner explained as the tendrils spread through the brain and the body on the screen started to move, "The adrenal glands start to haemorrhage, the brain goes into shut down, then the major organs."

Tamara couldn't watch any more, she turned away from the screen as the brain turned black, all the light and life gone. Daryl stepped in front of her knowing she needed him there even though he kept his arms folded across his chest as Jenner continued.

"Then death." He said sadly. "Everything you ever were, or ever will be, gone."

"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asked her mother and Mara dropped her head to Daryl's shoulder as Carol answered her, "Yes."

Daryl's hand came up and cupped the back of Tamara's head, fingers twisting into her dark silky hair.

Andrea sobbed and Lori explained to Jenner why she was having that reaction, "She lost somebody, her sister, two days ago."

Jenner spoke to Andrea, "I lost somebody too. I know how devastating it is." He told her before speaking to Vi, "Scan to the second event."

"Scanning to second event."

"The resurrection events vary wildly, we have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of is seven hours." Jenner explained as the group watched the video scan forward.

Tamara lifted her head from Daryl's arm, "Eight hours." She said looking at the group, her green eyes even more vibrant with unshed tears hanging to her lashes. "It took Tanya eight hours to change."

She looked up at Daryl. She hadn't told him that part, how she had run to Tanya's house and found her there, dead beside her baby, the walker ripping her apart. How she had killed the monster and then sat beside her, Lacy curled into her chest and waited out the night and part of the next morning until Tanya had moved again and tried to get at Lacy, and then Tamara had put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger.

She felt Daryl's hand on her hip, his fingers wrapping into her hair again as he pulled her shaking body to his chest.

There was a moment of silence before Jenner spoke again, "In the case of this patient it was two hours, one minute, seven seconds."

There was silence and Tamara couldn't bear to look up at that screen again.

"It restarts the brain?" the question came from Lori but Jenner was quick to set her straight.

"No, just the brain stem. Basically it gets them up and moving."

"But they're not alive?" Rick asked.

Jenner turned to him and pointed to the screen, "You tell me."

"It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark." The sheriff answered.

"Dark, gone, dead. The frontal lobe, the neo-cortex? That doesn't come back. The 'you' part." Jenner explained. "Just a shell. Mindless instinct."

"God. What was that?" Carol asked a little shocked.

"He shot his patient in the head." Andrea said softly. "Didn't you?"

"Vi power down main screen and work stations." Jenner ordered.

Pulling away from Daryl's embrace, Tamara wiped her eyes on the sleeves of her shirt and then gently picked Lacy up off the floor as the lights in the room dimmed and Vi repeated Jenner's command.

"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea asked pacing almost frantically.

Jenner spoke after a bit of hesitation, "It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal."

"Or the wrath of God." Jacqui said from where she stood near Tamara and Daryl.

"There is that." Jenner said quietly.

"Somebody must know something." Andrea said refusing to believe otherwise. "Somebody, somewhere."

"There are others, right? Other facilities?" Carol asked Jenner.

There may be some, people like me." Jenner said quietly.

"But you don't know?" Rick asked. "How can you not know?"

Everything went down. Communications. Directives. All of it." Jenner explained. "I've been in the dark for almost a month."

"So it's not just here?" Andrea asked. "There's nothing else anywhere? Nothing? That's what you're really saying, right?"

Fear slid down Tamara's spine at her words.

Jenner looked away and when he didn't answer Tamara felt her stomach roil. She pressed her face to Lacy's hair afraid she'd start screaming if she didn't.

"Jesus." Jacqui gasped in prayer leaning back against the consul beside her as if her legs couldn't hold her weight anymore.

Daryl paced rubbing his eyes in frustration, "Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk. Again." He said before leaning on the consul behind Tamara and Lacy.

Dale spoke up then, "Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but, that clock," he pointed to the large glaring red numbers on a screen on the wall, "It's counting down." The numbers changed to 59:59 as he said it, "What happens at zero?"

"The basement generators, they run out of fuel." Jenner said in a rush as he turned to leave the room.

"And then?" Rick asked him as he walked away but he didn't answer just kept walking. Realising he wasn't going to answer Rick spoke to the room, "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"

"When the power runs out facility-wide decontamination will occur."

Tamara turned to Daryl as Rick spun to follow Jenner to get more answers. When he came back empty handed he called Glenn, T-Dog and Shane to go with him to see if they could find the generators to see what they could do about the fuel running out.

Daryl growled something about needing another drink and disappeared in the direction of the cafeteria.

Tamara, Lori and Carol agreed it was best for the kids to think that everything was fine, at least until the men came back. So, as Lori took Carl back to their room to do his maths work, Tamara and Carol took Sophia and Lacy back to Carol's room and settled them in to reading together.

Tamara sat with Lacy on one couch reading from a kids book that was amazingly in the CDC's rec. room while Carol tried to teach Sophia how to write a report.

They were sitting quietly for a while and reading when the air conditioning turned off.

Carol and Tamara shared a look at the two women took the children out to the hall.

Jenner walked past dressed in his lab coat, his usually wild light blonde hair tamed by a comb and a tie neatly knotted around his neck.

"Why has the air turned off, and the light in our room?" Carol asked as he walked past silently.

When he didn't answer Tamara lifted Lacy to her hip and followed him down the hall.

Daryl leaned out of his and Tamara's room a partially empty bottle of wine hanging from his fingers. "Hey what's goin' on? Why's everythin' turnin' off." He asked his drawl intensified by the alcohol.

Jenner walked past, snagging the bottle from his hand as he did, "Energy use is being prioritised." He explained.

"So air isn't a priority, and lights?" Dale asked surprised as Jenner took a swig from the bottle and shook his head.

"It's not up to me. Zone Five is shutting itself down."

"Hey!" Daryl called following Jenner as the rest of their group fell into line behind him. "Hey, what the hell's that mean?" he asked. When Jenner didn't answer it only irritated him more. The group caught up to the doctor as Tamara realised he was leading them back to the 'big room'. "Hey, man I'm talkin' to you." Daryl said falling into step behind Jenner his tone aggressive. "What ya mean it's shuttin' itself down? How can a buildin' do anythin'?"

"You'd be surprised." Jenner told him as they made it to the 'big room', Rick and the other men jogging into the room a moment later from the stairwell.

"Jenner, what's happening?" Rick asked as his group met up with the others near the platform.

"The system is dropping all non-essential uses of power." Jenner explained to him. "It's designed to keep the computers running until the last possible second. It starts as we approach the half hour mark." He pointed to the large count-down clock on the wall.

Tamara read the numbers there and her stomach dropped, all she could think was 'what does a building wide contamination mean?'.

As Jenner turned to the group and handed Daryl back his nearly finished bottle before starting on an explanation of why the power was running out, Tamara slipped passed the others and moved to Daryl's side, "Baby, we gotta go. Now." She murmured her hand reaching out and catching his arm, pulling his angry gaze from Jenner and making him look at her.

"'Mara." He started but she shook her head, panicked tears starting at the corners of her eyes.

"Please, Daryl. I don't wanna be here anymore. I just know somethin' bad's gonna happen."

She jumped as Rick's yell brought her back to the group, "Everybody get your stuff, we're gonna get out of here. Now!"

Daryl grabbed Tamara's arm and started to tow her toward their room.

The sound of an alarm going off scared everyone. Tamara's hand twisted into Daryl's shirt just below his ribs and the big screen at the front of the room lit up with a counter set at thirty and decreasing quickly. Vi's voice spoke up, echoing around the room, "Thirty minutes until decontamination."

"Doc? What's goin' on here, Doc?" T-Dog asked yelling over the noise.

"Everybody get your stuff, let's go, now!" Shane ordered, Daryl starting to drag Tamara toward their room again as Lacy whimpered and clutched at her tighter.

Their way was suddenly blocked by large metal doors sliding up from the floor and cutting everyone off from the other corridors that led out of the 'big room'.

"Daryl?" Tamara gasped stepping closer to him as cold fear slid through her body.

"Did he just lock us in?" Glenn asked his voice wavering on the edge of panic. "He just locked us in!"

Daryl tensed suddenly before pulling out of Tamara's grasp and climbing up onto the platform and striding toward Jenner, "You son of a bitch!" he growled loudly.

"Shane!" Rick warned his friend pointing at Daryl to get him to stop him.

"You locked us in here!" Daryl yelled at Jenner who was sitting at a consul talking to a camera, oblivious as Daryl was dragged back from him by Shane, still yelling, "You locked us in here! You locked us in here!"

Rick strode over, his tone dangerous, "Jenner, open that door now."

"There's no point. Everything topside is sealed all the emergency exits are locked." Jenner told him fixing his lab coat from where Daryl had grabbed it.

"Well open them then." Shane sneered.

"That's not something I control, the computers do." He said, "I told you, once that front door closed it wouldn't open again, you heard me say that."

Tamara all but ran to Daryl's side, Lacy held tight to her chest as she pressed her forehead to his shoulder not even caring that he was moving from foot to foot in pent up anger.

"It's better this way." Jenner told them seeing Carol clutch Sophia to her chest and Lori pull Carl to her side.

"What is?" Rick asked. "What happens in twenty-eight minutes?"

Jenner turned away and started typing at the consul.

Rick snapped, "What happens in twenty-eight minutes?!"

Jenner stood up suddenly, his voice raised, "You know what this place is! We protected the public from some very nasty stuff!" Tamara flinched against Daryl as he yelled. "Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Things you don't want getting out, EVER!"

There was silence as the group tried to process what he was saying, tried to comprehend what he wasn't telling them.

Daryl was too far gone in his anger to realise Tamara was sobbing silently into his chest. He stepped away, angrily pacing, his predator-like stare trained on Jenner.

Jenner sat back down in his chair and composed himself before he spoke again, "In the event of a catastrophic power failure, a nuclear attack, for example; H.I.T.'s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."

"H.I.T.'s?" Rick asked anything but calm even if his voice was soft.

Jenner looked down, "Vi, define."

The disembodied voice spoke up, "H.I.T.'s. High Impulse Thermo Baric Fuel Air Explosives consist of a two stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power duration than any other known explosive, except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure ignites the oxygen between 5000 and 6000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and structures is desired."

Carol burst into tears and pulled a sobbing Sophia against her chest. Rick pulled his family into his arms while the others seemed to be frozen where they stood, shock and fear taking over their bodies. Daryl saw Tamara pale and strode to her side, taking Lacy from her arms and catching her around the waist as her knees gave way.

"It sets the air on fire." Jenner said, his voice calm and empty of emotion. "No pain. An end to sorrow…grief…regret…everything."

Tamara cried out pulling away from Daryl and stopping in front of Jenner as he sat looking up at her blankly. Her hand came back and she slapped him across the face a moment before Daryl handed Lacy over to Dale and went to grab her around the waist and pull her away.

She smacked his arms away and bent down so that her gaze was level with Jenner's, "You don't get to decide that for us." She rasped out brokenly before motioning to Sophia, Carl and Lacy her voice strengthening, "You don't get to say that they have to stop living just because you've given up!" her voice rose to a yell but before she could attack him again, Daryl's work hardened arms slid around her waist and he pulled her away, her body collapsing and they both dropped slowly to kneel on the floor.

Something snapped in Daryl as he heard her murmuring under her breath over and over, "Oh God, oh God, oh God." Silent tears sliding down her ashen cheeks, and her once vibrant eyes staring lifelessly at the worn carpet beneath them. He let her go and stood up, grabbing his wine bottle before he stomped up the ramp to the metal door at the top. He threw the bottle, the glass smashing on impact before he turned and glared at Jenner, coming half way down the ramp and throwing his arm back to point at the door, "Open the goddamn door!"

Jenner didn't do anything.

"Outta my way!" Shane yelled running up the ramp, an axe in his hand. He started to throw everything he had behind each and every swing, the metal squealing under each hit, Daryl coming up beside him to join in as soon as T-Dog threw him another axe. Every hit bounced off and barely scratched the surface of the door.

Tamara felt Dale's hand on her shoulder as he knelt beside her, trying to calm her down, "You gotta breathe deep, Tamara." He said as gently as he could, Lacy clinging to him, arms and legs, her little body wracked with shivers, "This little one here needs you."

But Tamara was lost in her own world, a world where fingers bit into her flesh and the stench of rotting flesh filled her nose. Her body heaved and she barely made it to a waste paper basket before she gagged and coughed, losing what little she had in her stomach from the breakfast she had eaten hours before.

She missed some of what was going on around her until Daryl's calloused hand grabbed her jaw and he forced her to look at him, "Ain't time to check out yet, girl." He all but snarled, his body almost vibrating with pent up rage and fear.

A single tear rolled down her cool cheek and she tried to look away but he wasn't having it. Ignoring Dale's hand on his shoulder as the older man tried to get him to be gentle, he grabbed Tamara's upper arms and dragged her to her feet having to pin her to the consul behind her so that she would stay on her feet, "You ain't checkin' out yet, goddamn it!" he growled low, ducking his head to catch her emerald gaze, "Ya hear?"

Tamara heard Lacy whimpering and the other children crying and her resolve steeled, she nodded once and flattened her hand on the side of the consul behind her, holding herself up as Daryl moved back to pacing, his glare falling on Jenner.

And then she heard the doctor, fear spewing from him, "This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event." Jenner said to the group who were now so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

"This isn't right." Carol sobbed, "You can't just keep us here."

Jenner leaned forward in his seat trying to convince her, "One tiny moment, a millisecond. No pain."

"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this!" the older woman sobbed.

"Wouldn't it be kinder?" Jenner asked and Tamara scoffed through her tears. "More compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?"

"'Cept you won't have anyone to hold, will you, Doctor?" Tamara sneered glaring at him in hatred.

The sound of a rifle being cocked had everyone turning to see that Shane had grabbed his gun, eyes only on Jenner.

"Shane, No!" Rick tried to stop him but he just pushed his way passed him and T-Dog and held the rifle to Jenner's face.

"Open that door or I'm gonna blow your head off, you hear me?" he yelled breathing hard.

Rick tried to calm him down but he wasn't listening.

Shane started screaming, turning the rifle to the consuls on the other side of the platform and shot them.

The loud explosion of the gun, Shane's yell and everyone else yelling scared Lacy so badly she started to scream and cry struggling in Dale's arms.

"Momma! Momma!" she wailed her arms out to Tamara.

Racing to Dale's side as Rick forcibly subdued Shane, Tamara took the screaming little girl from him and hunkered down behind the far consul, holding her to her chest and whispering in her ear, "It's alright, baby. Mama's here. No one's gonna hurt you, sweetheart." She rocked her and slowly her screaming quietened to pitiful little sobs and then to hiccups before she buried her face against Tamara's neck and stayed hidden under her dark wavy hair.

Tamara looked up to see Daryl pacing not two feet away, axe in hand, body tense; and she knew he was on the verge of doing something drastic.

"I think you're lying." Rick said to Jenner as Tamara pushed herself to her feet and looked over the group.

"What?" Jenner asked him.

"You're lying about no hope. If that were true you'd a bolted with the rest, or taken the easy way out." Rick told him. "You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"

Jenner shook his head, "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." Rick approached him, "It always matters. You stayed when others ran, why?"

Jenner turned on him, "I didn't stay because I wanted to. I made a promise." He stood up, standing toe-to-toe with Rick. "To her." He pointed at the big screen above them. "My wife."

"Test subject 19 was your wife?" Lori asked sounding disgusted.

Tamara's stomach rolled at the thought and she had to concentrate on taking deep breaths and holding down the bile rising in her throat.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could, how could I say no."

Tamara jumped when the scraping on the door started up again. She looked over her shoulder to see Daryl slamming the axe against the metal door and realised she hadn't even realised he had left her side to do it she had been so concentrated on keeping Lacy and herself calm.

"She was dying." Jenner continued sadly, "It should have been me on that table. It wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place, I just worked here. In our field she was an Einstein. Me, I'm just Edwin Jenner. She could have done something about this. Not me."

Rick held out a calming hand, palm down, "Your wife, she didn't have a choice. You do. That's all we want. A choice. A chance."

"Let us keep trying as long as we can." Lori begged the doctor.

Jenner looked around the room before he seemed to slump in defeat, "I told you topside's locked down. I can't open those." Hope flared in Tamara's chest as Jenner made his way to a different consul. He did something she couldn't quite see and then the door where Daryl was standing, axe raised for another hit, slid down into the floor.

Daryl turned and lowered the axe, "Come on!" he called his eyes on Tamara as he did.

She wrapped her arms more securely around Lacy's body and ran to him, his hand closing around hers as the others in the group followed behind.

"Hey, we got four minutes left, come on!" Glenn screamed when he saw some of the others were slow to move and that Andrea was still where she had been when Jenner opened the doors.

"No, I'm stayin'." Jacqui said pulling out of T-Dog's hold half way up the ramp.

Tamara moved to go to her but Daryl's hand tightened around her arm and he pulled her into his side.

"Look, that's insane." T-Dog tried to reason with her but she shook her head.

"No, that's sane. For the first time in a long time." She looked at him, "I'm not ending up like Jim and Amy."

"No." Tamara sobbed pulling against Daryl's hold to try and get to the woman she now counted as a friend.

"There's no time to argue, and no point. Not if you wanna get out." Jacqui said, her sad eyes flashing to Tamara as the younger woman fought her husband's hold around her waist. "Now get out. Get out."

Daryl pulled Tamara tighter against his side and led her and some of the others of the group out toward the exit. They only stopped to grab their bags and then they ran to the stair well, five flights of stairs and then they still had to get out of the lobby at the top.

Tamara tripped twice on the stairs before Daryl wrapped his arm around her more securely and all but carried her up the final two flights, Lacy clinging to her, skinny arms tight around her neck.

He let go of her in the lobby as he, Glenn, T-Dog, Shane and Rick tried everything to get the doors open or break the windows.

Tamara fell to her knees, held Lacy tight in her arms and prayed. She prayed harder than she had ever prayed before because if they didn't get out of this place they were all dead.

"Rick, I have something that might help." Carol said digging around in her back pack when the glass wouldn't break.

"Carol, I don' think a nail file's gonna do it." Shane told her roughly.

Carol ignored him still digging around in her purse and looking right at Rick, "That first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform, I found this in your pocket." She held out a grenade.

Rick took it from her and moved toward the window, "Look out!" he yelled so that everyone moved back.

Daryl pulled Tamara and Lacy as far away from the window as he could, put down his axe, bow and their bags and covered their bodies with his.

There was a huge explosion a few seconds later and Tamara clung to Daryl as Lacy curled into a tighter ball under their bodies.

The sound of smashing glass followed the explosion and then everyone was scrambling up and climbing out the window. Daryl was out before Tamara and held up a hand to help her and Lacy down before he caught her wrist and started pulling her across the lawn in front of the building with the others.

Walkers were converging having been alerted by the explosion and Daryl let go of Tamara's hand to use his axe to kill one while Shane shot two more as the group sprinted across the grass to their convoy of vehicles not too far ahead.

Daryl pushed her and Lacy to the passenger side of his truck and then went around to the driver's side.

Tamara slammed the truck door shut behind her and then looked up at the building to see Dale and Andrea running across the law.

"Oh my God." She gasped.

Daryl swore viciously and she knew he was counting down the seconds in his head.

Tamara's scream stuck in her throat when she heard Rick pressing the horn of the RV, heard Lori scream for Dale and Andrea to get down and then saw the flames spreading across the ceiling of the lobby they had just escaped. Daryl's hands grabbed her and Lacy roughly and pulled them down onto the seat of the truck and behind the dash, his body pressing down on top of them.

The deafening roar of the explosion and the building's collapse drowned out Lacy's screams of terror and made Tamara's ears ring and then the aftershock from the blast hit the truck, rocking it on its axels before fading away.

Tamara counted Lacy's breathes as she waited for the ringing to die down in her ears; _one…two…three…four…five._ Slowly, Daryl sat up, helping Tamara and Lacy do the same. Their faces showing awe and sadness at the sight of the huge CDC building turned to rubble and the two souls lost inside it. Daryl let out a relieved breath and then pulled Tamara into his side, his lips pressing to her temple, Lacy curled into her lap as he checked over his shoulder to see if Shane was alright in his Jeep behind them.

The fire still burned as Andrea and Dale ran to the RV and got in and the convoy started up, turned back the way they had come and headed away from the only safety they had had in days.


	2. Chapter 2

The group decided to drive to Fort Benning the next day. They had stopped for the night just outside a small town and the men had gone in to try and find some food. They had come back with a few protein bars, and a few cans of food, all that was left in a ransacked mini-mart.

What worried Tamara more than anything, however, was that Lacy refused to eat and only clung to her sobbing softly until she fell asleep.

Knowing it was because of what had happened at the CDC all Tamara could do was pray, pray that the little girl would be able to handle life in the world of walkers and danger at every turn.

The next day she was able to get half a protein bar and a few mouthfuls of their precious water into the little girl before the group packed up to leave. They only made it one town over by the next night because they had been attacked by a group of four walkers when they stopped at midday.

That night Lacy ate enough for two kids her size and then fell asleep as soon as Tamara put her down on the bundle of blankets in the back of Carol's station wagon to sleep with Sophia and Carl.

"She good?" Daryl asked quietly not even looking up from where he was sharpening his buck knife as Tamara slipped into the RV where all the adults sat save Carol who had elected to sleep in the front seat of the station wagon and look after the children.

Letting out a deep breath the raven haired beauty nodded tiredly, "She's asleep. Never seen her eat so much before."

"That's a good sign." Lori assured her. "It means she's feelin' healthy enough to eat when she needs it."

Tamara nodded gratefully but couldn't help but worry about the little girl she loved like her own. Sensing her unease, Daryl slid his buck knife into its sheath at his hip and pocketed the whet stone he had been using before he sat back and laid his arm along the back of the bench seat where Tamara sat next to him at the back of the RV. She leaned into him needing the closeness of their bodies to warm her in the quickly cooling evening weather as well as the safety she felt when she was sitting next to him.

"What are we gonna do tomorrow?" T-Dog asked the group as a whole. "The Jeep's nearly outta gas and we're just wastin' fuel havin' so many cars."

Rick sat back, Lori's hand on his knee. "I think we gotta get as far as we can on the fuel it's got tomorrow then we leave it and the van and pack everything into here. Gotta save where we can."

"The truck too." Daryl said sitting with Tamara curled against his side half asleep. "Fuel's almost gone. No point keepin' it if I can ride Merle's bike."

They talked some more and agreed to drive to the next town before dumping the Jeep, truck and van and taking any extra gas from them as they could.

According to Glenn's map they were only a few miles out from the next town. Decision made, the group split up to find their beds. Lori and Rick stayed in the RV with Dale and Andrea while T-Dog went to the station wagon to stay with Carol and the kids. Shane, Glenn, Daryl and Tamara bedded down in the van; Daryl's body curled around his wife's and provided a buffer between her and the others in the van. She didn't even notice, falling asleep almost as soon as her head hit the rolled up towel she was using for a pillow.

The next morning she was shaken awake by Carol and given half a protein bar, their food rationed to last them for as long as possible. She climbed out of the van to see the bustling activity around their makeshift camp as everyone helped to get things ready to move on.

"Why didn't you wake me?" The petite brunette asked Daryl, hunkering down to tie Lacy's red hair into pigtails on either side of her head.

"Ya needed ta sleep, girl. No one's gonna say ya didn'." He told her while he checked his rifle and put both it and his crossbow into the cab of his truck.

Tamara sighed but didn't say any more on the subject knowing he was right. Standing slowly and then stretching to wake up her muscles she picked Lacy up and smiled at her, "Were you a good girl for Aunty Carol, Uncle T-Dog, Sophia and Carl, baby?"

With a cheeky smile the little girl put her hands on Tamara's cheeks and leaned forward, "Yes, Momma. Smoosh." She said before giving Mara a large kiss on the lips.

With a happy smile Tamara wrapped her arms around the little girl and bumped their noses together gently, "You gonna give Uncle Daryl a smoosh too?" she asked hearing her husband grumble behind her at the suggestion.

The little girl perked up at the idea and leaned around Tamara's shoulder a hand held out to Daryl, "Smoosh, Unc Darl. Smoosh." She begged.

Daryl scowled but the three year old wasn't put off, she just scowled right back looking so much like her mother that Tamara had to hide tears when she handed Lacy over to Daryl. The little girl grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him before wiggling to be let down and proceeding to walk to each person in their group and give them a 'smoosh' too.

Glenn brought the little girl back to Tamara, her small hand holding onto two of his fingers as they walked. Not wanting to cry in front of the child any more, Tamara plastered a smile on her face and let Carl and Sophia take her to the station wagon to wait as the adults finished getting everything ready.

They were on the road less than half an hour later and made it to the next town twenty minutes later.

They parked in a place that looked to be free of walkers and then the work started. Daryl and T-Dog went to syphon gas from Shane's Jeep, the van, and Daryl's truck while Shane and Rick helped Tamara move everything out of the three vehicles and into the RV and station wagon and Glenn and Dale kept watch for walkers. Andrea and Lori made sure there was enough space for everything. Carol watched over the kids and then once everything was packed up and ready, Daryl got Merle's bike off the bed of the truck and started it up.

"Go on sweetie." Carol nodded over Tamara's shoulder to where Daryl was waiting, straddling the bike his blue eyes on her. "Looks like your man wants you to ride with him now." Seeing Tamara's gaze slide to Lacy the older woman shook her head, "She'll be fine in the car with Rick, Lori, the kids and I. Go with Daryl."

Tamara hugged Carol gratefully before she explained to Lacy what was happening. Satisfied that everyone was alright, the petite brunette walked over to stop in front of the bike, smirking at Daryl, one hip popped and her arms folded over her chest, "I'd ask where's your helmet but I know you'd just say, 'shoot, ain't no cops gonna pull us over for wearin' no helmets'." She teased her voice dropping into a practiced imitation of his deep southern twang.

Daryl lowered his hands from the handle bars of the bike and onto his thighs, looking at her with sharp blue eyes, "Ya ridin' or walkin', woman. Ain't got time ta wait for ya while ya tease me."

Tamara's smirk widened, "Help a girl out?" she asked walking to the side of the bike and using his shoulder to balance herself while she swung her leg over the seat and nestled in behind him.

Daryl didn't waste any time in taking her hands from his hips and pulling her against his back. Tamara laced her fingers together over his stomach and relaxed into the feel of the bike beneath her and Daryl in front.

Everyone else piled into the remaining vehicles, T-Dog, Shane, Dale and Andrea getting into the RV while Carol, Sophia, Carl, Lori, Rick and Lacy got into the station wagon. Daryl babied the motorbike to the front of the significantly smaller convoy and led the way out of town, Tamara pressing as close to his back as she could.

They passed lines of abandoned cars sitting on the highway, empty houses, quiet streets and to Tamara it felt as if they were the only people left in the world.

They had been on the road for about two hours when they came to a part of the highway that was completely blocked off by vehicles and over turned trucks. Tamara bit her lip hoping there was a way through for the RV even as Daryl slowed Merle's bike and turned it so that he could talk to Dale in the RV right behind.

"You see a way through?" Dale asked Daryl when he pulled up beside the RV window.

Daryl glanced back at the empty cars before he nodded. Tamara loosened her hold him a little while he turned the bike around the back of the RV and steered it back to the front of the convoy, slowly guiding the RV through the mass of cars and trucks. Seeing a dead body in one of the cars the small brunette tucked her head down between his shoulder blades and counted the breaths she felt him take even through the vibrations of the bike underneath them.

The sound of a loud bang followed closely by the screech of the RV motor made Tamara jump and twist around a little to see steam rising from the front grill of the RV as Dale pulled it to a stop, his face downcast.

"I said it. Didn't I say it?" Dale asked as everyone piled out of the vehicles to see what had happened to the RV. "Dead in the water."

"Problem Dale?" Rick asked moving toward the front of the RV.

"Just the problem of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of …" he trailed off as Daryl let Tamara off the bike and then swung off himself before moving straight to an open boot of an abandoned car and rifling through the things inside it. "Okay, that was dumb." He amended.

"Can't find a radiator hose here." Shane said.

Daryl didn't even look up from his pilfering, "A whole lot a stuff we can find." Lacy ran up to him as he pulled out a little pink backpack from the car. Glancing down at her he opened it, found it empty and handed it to her without a word.

The little girl hugged his leg, a gesture he didn't even seem to notice, before she clutched the bag to her chest and ran to Tamara to show it to her.

The brunette made a show of gasping over it and smiling helping her put it on her back as T-Dog walked away from the group saying something about syphoning more gas.

"Maybe some water? Food?" Carol added looking at the others.

"This is a grave yard." Lori reminded them, "I don't know how I feel about this."

But their needs outweighed the fact that this was indeed a graveyard. Everyone moved to do what they could; Dale and Glenn started in on trying to fix the RV with Dale telling Glenn to do it so he could learn something, Lori, Carol, Sophia and Carl moved to look through the cars, Shane and Rick kept an eye out and moved around the group, while T-Dog and Daryl got out the syphoning gear to get more fuel. Knowing that there would likely be dead bodies around Tamara was about to take Lacy inside the RV so that she would be safe but the little girl had other ideas. She saw Dale climb up on top of the RV to act as look out and wanted to go up too.

"Up, Momma." She pointed to Dale as he stood up on the RV roof.

Tamara tried to explain to her that she was too little but the three year old got her patented stubborn toddler look on her face and glared at Tamara.

Seeing that they were about to have a tantrum on their hands Dale called down to the petite brunette, "She can come up if sits down right beside me and doesn't move." He said kindly.

It took Tamara only a second to realise that it would be the safest place for Lacy to be if walkers came by and that Dale was giving her a way to deal with the stroppy three year old. Climbing up the small ladder at the back of the RV, she sat Lacy down right by Dale's feet and looked her in the eyes, "You do whatever Uncle Dale says and you don't move from here, young lady. Do you understand?"

Lacy nodded emphatically, "Yes, Momma."

Satisfied that she was in good hands Tamara thanked Dale with a small kiss to the cheek and then climbed back down to the ground to help searching cars for any food, water and shoes for Lacy.

Moving from car to car quickly she passed T-Dog already syphoning gas and Andrea looking through cars and caught up to Lori, Carol and their two kids.

Carol was holding a pretty red shirt up to her chest. "That'll look good on you." The brunette said gently as she slipped passed the older woman making sure to ruffle Carl's hair and squeeze Sophia's shoulder softly as she passed them.

Daryl had disappeared from view a few cars in front of her and Tamara didn't think anything of it until she felt a muscle hardened arm slide around her waist and she was pulled around the side of a small lorry.

"Daryl, what are you doing?" she gasped when he boxed her in, palms flat on the lorry's metal side either side of her head.

"What's it look like, 'Mara?" he growled his sharp gaze flickering between her lips and her eyes.

Licking her suddenly dry lips, Tamara didn't wait any longer, tipping forward onto her toes she cupped his cheek with one hand and pressed her lips to his, her other hand sliding up his chest, over his shoulder and to the back of his neck where she laced her fingers through his sweat-dampened hair.

The sound of Carl and Sophia talking close by, however, made her pull back and catch his hand which was halfway under her shirt, sliding over the soft skin of her stomach.

"We should be looking for supplies not making out, baby." She whispered looking up into his eyes which looked like blue fire.

"Am lookin'." Daryl murmured tilting his head to press a stubble roughened kiss to her neck.

With a sigh Tamara slipped out of his grasp and put some distance between them, "You can look for that when we have a room to ourselves." She told him dodging his quick grab for her arm but unable to get away from his smack to her backside.

She slipped back around the lorry to see that Carol and Lori were closer than she thought and had identical grins on their faces. "What?" she asked trying to play off the fact that her deep blush gave away that she had just been thoroughly kissed.

"Young love." Lori teased with a sigh, "Just wait till he wants you barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, that'll put a damper on things for a while."

Tamara huffed out a breath and blew her fringe off her forehead. Only to have Daryl walk out from behind the lorry, cool as you please, "Who said anythin' 'bout not wantin' that now?"

He was gone by the time Tamara had found a large piece of balled up paper to throw at his head.

Sharing a smile with the two women near her she then went back to searching cars for anything the group might need.

She had just pulled a small bag out of a car to rifle through it when Daryl's large hand covered her mouth and he pulled her down behind another car roughly. Without a word he pushed her under the next car over and dragged the dead body sitting beside it down to lay across the gap just under the car.

Tamara swallowed hard trying to keep down the small amount of food in her stomach as the heat from the sun and concrete road increased the body's stench tenfold. And that's when she heard it, the limping shuffle that made every hair on her body stand on end. But this time it wasn't just a few, this time it sounded like a huge pack.

There was a gap between the front wheel of the car and the body's head and she watched in ever growing panic as pairs of feet lumbered passed her hiding place. Tears filled her eyes and her heart thumped wildly in her chest, the sounds of those walkers echoing in her head. Closing her eyes she pressed her hands over her ears and prayed it would be over soon.

They just kept coming, one after the other, shuffling footsteps that echoed over and over in her head. And then a hand closed around her arm and pulled her out from under the car. Her eyes shot open and she was about to scream when she recognised Daryl's face. Without a second thought Tamara threw herself into his arms and burst into tears.

His hands came up, however and he held her at arms-length, "Had ta hide under a corpse, 'Mara. Ya might not wanna get close 'nough to smell it." He told her even as his eyes swept her face and body to make sure she was okay.

Tamara was about to tell him she didn't care but then the stench hit her and her tenuous leash on her gag reflex snapped. Throwing her body to the side she fell onto hands and knees and brought up everything that was in her stomach. She only realised Daryl was holding her dark waves back from her face when she spat and then wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

Turning her head a little to look at him where he was hunkered down beside her Tamara clenched her jaw, "Is that blood?" she asked raggedly.

Daryl followed her line of sight to the dark red smeared across his right forearm, "T-Dog got cut, I killed a walker that smelt the blood, hid us under the dead walker and a poor bastard that didn't make it outta his car 'nd dragged T-Dog back to the RV after." He shrugged as if this was an everyday occurrence. Tamara burst into tears all over again. All Daryl could do was squint at her, one hand rubbing the back of his neck as he muttered, "Aw, hell. I ain't hurt, girl."

Shaking her head she tried without much success to rub tears from her eyes, "There were so many." She murmured before a thought occurred to her, "Lacy."

Daryl tried to say something but she wasn't about to listen. Using the car beside them to drag herself to her feet she sprinted back to the RV to find Carol standing near the guard rail by the edge of the highway staring down into the trees down the embankment, the rest of the group, save Rick and Sophia, standing around her. They all had identical looks of alarm on their faces and Carol looked distressed. Without even having to ask Tamara knew what had happened.

Stepping to Carol's side she let the older woman collapse into her arms and cry out her fear for her daughter.

Rick climbed back up the embankment twenty-seven minutes later, alone.

"Oh, God." Carol sobbed seeing him without Sophia.

Tamara held her trying to keep her as calm as possible.

"Sophia's not here?" he asked seeing the others waiting for him, "I sent her back. Is she not here?!"

Lori shook her head and Rick turned back to the woods behind him, walking a little along the bank until he bent down and picked up his rifle where he had dropped it when he rolled down the hill while going after Sophia and the two walkers. Standing up he looked at the group, "Daryl, can you track her?"

"Show me where ya last saw her 'nd I can track her." Daryl said before turning on his heel and jogging to Merle's bike to get his crossbow where he had tied it to the back.

Rick looked at the others, "Shane, you and Glenn come with me. The rest of you wait here, she can't have gone too far."

"T-Dog's bleeding pretty bad." Dale spoke up, Lacy standing beside him holding his hand. "Got a big cut on his forearm."

Tamara's arms tightened around Carol, "I can sew it up if you've got some supplies. If it's big enough it'll need stitches."

Lori stepped forward as Daryl came back, "Go." She murmured moving to wrap an arm around Carol's shoulders.

Tamara hugged Carol again before handing her over to Lori and turning to follow Dale and Lacy back to the Station Wagon. She glanced back only once to see Daryl disappearing with the other men over the guard rail without a backward glance.

Focusing on the task at hand Tamara glanced at the RV to see the door closed and a pale Andrea sitting on the ground near it. "Why isn't T-Dog in the RV?" She asked Dale.

He glanced down at Lacy as they made their way around the back of the RV and to the Station Wagon, "We had an unwelcome visitor in the back of the RV. Andrea took the worst of it. Not sure how she's coping." He said as much as he could without scaring the little girl walking at his side and Carl who was standing beside a pale looking T-Dog sitting on the edge of the open Station Wagon trunk.

Seeing how scared Carl looked Tamara smiled softly at him, "Hey, sweetheart. You mind lookin' after Lacy for a little bit while I get T-Dog's arm bandaged up?"

"Yeah, okay." The little boy said.

Tamara's smile widened, "Take her over to that car just beside us and sit in the shade for a bit."

The young boy nodded and held out his hand to Lacy.

The redheaded little girl took less than a second to consider his hand before she let go of Dale's fingers and swapped them for Carl's hand, following him to the side of the other car.

Tamara sighed and hunkered down beside T-Dog, looking closely at the large gash in his right forearm for any debris left behind by whatever had cut him.

"What did you do?" she asked pressing what she recognised as the bandana Daryl usually carried in his back pocket down onto the gash again when she was satisfied that he didn't have anything in it.

"Saw the geeks coming, bobbed down beside a car wreck, next thing I know, my arm's ripped open and I can hardly think enough to hide let alone get out a the area. If Daryl hadn't a been there…"

He shook his head and Tamara saw a flash of the raw fear he had felt before, "We're both lucky he was there when he was." She murmured smiling gratefully at Dale who had brought the small first aid kit out of the RV for her to use. Getting a needle, some suture silk that just happened to be in the bottom of the kit, gauze and bandages out of the kit Tamara handed Dale the needle to put to the flame of a lighter for a few moments. As he was doing that she turned to T-Dog her hand on his knee as she looked up at his face, "This is gonna hurt. We don't have any meds to take the pain away because we have to save the Tylenol for later on when the shock wears off and you're in more pain." She told him point blank, "If you want I can give you the leather sheath from my knife to bite down on. I suggest you take it because this'll be rough."

The large black man swallowed hard and nodded.

Pulling the knife from its casing at her side she unclipped the case from her belt and held it out to him. With a deep breath he took it from her hand and slipped it between his teeth.

Knowing exactly what getting stitches without anything to numb the pain was like, Tamara moved quickly to thread the needle before she looked up at him again, "Deep breaths, T-Dog." She murmured and then focussed on her work.

It was over in about five minutes, the majority of the gash shallow enough to not need stitches; it was only the middle part of the cut that needed about six stitches. When she was done, Tamara wrapped it as gently as possible before taking the frozen gel pack Dale brought from the RV and using a little of the left over bandage to tie it into place over the gash, "It'll help with the pain." She looked the large man right in the eyes, "You don't be a hero with this. If you're in too much pain say so and we'll get ya some Tylenol." Satisfied when he nodded his head she smiled gently and took her sheath back from him, clipping it back to her belt and sliding her buck knife into it, snapping the safety straps around it while she walked to where Carl and Lacy sat, "How you two doin'?"

Carl shaded his eyes and looked up at her squinting, "They're gonna find Sophia, right?"

Tamara didn't want to lie to him but knew he couldn't hear a lot more stark truths after what he'd seen that day, "Daryl, your dad and the others are gonna do everything they can to get her back, sweetheart. I promise." She murmured sitting down beside him and letting him lean against her shoulder when Lacy crawled over to her lap.

"I shoulda done more to keep her still." The young boy said. "Maybe if I'd made her stay still she'd be alright."

Anger filled Tamara at his words. She turned to him and cupped his chin making him look up at her, "Now ya listen here. There was nothin' you or anyone coulda done to keep her safe. Y'all didn't know there were two stragglers. Ya hear?"

Blinking back tears Carl nodded. Heart breaking, Tamara pulled him into a tight hug, "Ain't your fault, sweetheart." She murmured against his hair.

* * *

Shane and Glenn made it back half an hour later, they told the group that Rick and Daryl were on Sophia's trail so they needed to get ready to move on as soon as they got back.

But Tamara saw the look in their eyes, she had seen it many times when she volunteered at the hospital near her home a few years back, something had gone wrong and they were keeping everyone calm until Rick and Daryl had a better idea of what.

Shane took over as leader immediately and started instructing the others to finding more supplies while he sent Glenn and Dale to haul as many bottles of water from the water delivery truck they had found before the walkers came.

He and Andrea then sent Carl and Lacy away and dragged the walker she had killed in the RV out and threw it onto the grass verge separating the two sides of the highway. Lori and Tamara took turns watching Carl and Lacy and comforting Carol who refused to leave the side of the highway where Sophia and then the men had disappeared earlier in the day.

Once they had collected enough supplies and water to last them for a few weeks they set about moving cars from the RV's path as per Shane's directions. He drove the Station Wagon and used the force behind that to push cars off the side of the highway as one of the group steered it so that it wouldn't cause and even bigger build up.

Tamara was helping Lacy try on a new pair of sneakers she had found in the boot of an abandoned car when she suddenly felt feint. Dropping onto her backside from the crouch she had been in she collapsed back onto one elbow.

Lacy immediately froze and started wailing, her cries making Tamara's head spin. Running footsteps came from the direction of the RV and Tamara looked up to see Shane with his rifle raised moving quickly toward her, eyes sliding over the cars and the surrounding area for any sign of walkers.

"What the hell happened?" he asked gruffly standing over Tamara while Glenn helped her to her feet.

"I-I'm fine I just…" Tamara started only to have her legs give way.

"Whoa." Glenn grunted holding her up.

"You bit?" Shane asked gruffly eyeing her carefully.

Tamara brushed a hand over her face, "Remember what I said last time ya asked me that?...Screw you, Shane, I ain't bit."

Shane put up his rifle, laying it across one shoulder, "Get her inside the RV, Glenn. Looks like sun strike. Shut ya kid up, woman." He added before walking away.

Tamara bristled, glaring at his back as she pulled away from Glenn carefully, "I'm fine now sweetheart, thanks." She said gratefully. When she was stable she looked Glenn right in the eye and lowered her voice, "Don't tell Daryl what happened. He'll only worry and he needs ta focus on finding that little girl right now. Understand?"

Glenn nodded wordlessly looking a little freaked out at having her almost feint into his arms.

"Momma?" Lacy asked her hand on Tamara's leg bringing her attention back to the little girl.

Taking a deep breath Tamara smiled down at her as she steeled herself to pick her up.

But Glenn beat her to it, "I got her." He told her sweeping the little girl up into his arms, "Go lay down in the RV for a bit."

Nodding her thanks Tamara tucked a lock of red hair behind the little girl's ear and smiled at Glenn before she turned and slowly made her way to the RV. She must have fallen asleep when she lay down in the back because when she opened her eyes again it was to see the light from the setting sun filtering through the net curtains over the windows. Getting up to check on Lacy she was hit by another wave of dizziness but true to her stubborn nature she pushed it away and walked to the door of the RV. Sadness rippled through her when she saw that Carol was still standing at the guard rail looking out into the trees beyond.

Shane walked past a plastic crate of can of food in his arms, the look he sent Tamara set her teeth on edge, "I'm fine. Just needed a sleep." She was lying through her teeth but no one needed to know that. Forcing herself to walk to Carol's side she wrapped and arm around the older woman's waist and stood beside her silently.

Carol glanced at her, "It's late." She murmured in a small sad voice, "Gonna be dark soon."

"They'll find her." Andrea assured her from where she was standing on her other side and then turned to go and talk to Dale.

"We still need help over here." Shane called over to Tamara.

Turning a dark glare on the taller man Tamara sneered, "And I've been wantin' a whole bucket of fried chicken, extra crispy, since this whole world went to hell. Seems like we're both outta luck, now don't it?" she turned back to looking over the woods muttering, "Damn man doesn't know when ta shut up. Some things are more important than looking for more food and water. There's always tomorrow." She turned and pulled a shaking Carol against her chest, hugging her as she continued to rail against Shane in her thoughts.

Footsteps sounded coming up from the woods and Carol pulled away from Tamara's arms. Seeing that the little girl wasn't with the two men she started to sway a little, "You didn't find her?" she asked in a small broken voice.

"Trail went cold." Rick explained while he climbed back over the guard rail, "We'll pick it up again at first light.

Carol shook her head, "You can't leave my daughter out there alone to spend the night in the woods." She pleaded.

"Out in the dark's no good." Daryl explained his tone as gentle as he could make it with his gruff voice, "We'd just be trippin' over ourselves. More people'd get lost."

Carol shook her head tearfully, "She can't be out there on her own. She's only twelve." She turned to Rick, "You didn't find anything?"

Rick lifted his hands in a placating manner, "I know this is hard. I'm asking you not to panic. We know she's out there."

Tamara stepped forward and rubbed Carol's back as Daryl added, "And we tracked her for a while."

"We need to make this an organised effort." Rick told the group. "Daryl knows the wood better than anybody, I've asked him to oversee this."

Carol stilled suddenly, her eyes on Daryl's jeans, "Is that-is that blood?" she asked pointing to the large stain just above his left knee.

Daryl looked at Rick not knowing how much he should say.

"We took down a walker." The officer explained. When Carol started panicking he explained some more, "There's no sign he was ever anywhere near Sophia."

"How can you know that?" Andrea asked the question everyone else was wondering about.

Tamara tried to hold down the small amount of water she had drunk before falling asleep, having a pretty good idea of how the men knew it.

Rick looked to Daryl this time, not knowing how to tell the distraught woman in front of him, "We cut the son of a bitch open, made sure." He said using the same tone Tamara remembered him using on a skittish horse at her sister's farm.

Carol sunk down onto the guard rail, Tamara let Lori move to sit with her as she tried to fight back another dizzy spell.

"How could you just leave her out there to begin with?" Carol asked Rick, accusation leeching into her voice. "How could you just leave her?"

Rick looked pale, "Walkers were on us. I had to draw them off. It was her best chance." Rick explained. "I didn't have a choice, Carol."

Tamara sat down on the guard rail a little away from the others her head spinning more and more and tears pricking her eyes as Carol continued to break down.

"How's she supposed to find her way back on her own. She's just a child." Carol's voice broke and Rick crouched down beside her, wiping his hand over his face. "It was my only option. The only choice I could make."

"I'm sure nobody doubts that." Shane spoke up.

Carol looked at Rick, her voice clogged with tears, "My little girl got left in the woods."

Rick stood up, tears in his own eyes and left the group, Shane following him to try and console him as well.

Tamara looked up to see Carol looking at her, barely holding it together. Clenching her jaw the pretty brunette got up and moved to sit at Carol's side, letting the older woman sob into her hair. When she had cried herself into exhaustion, Tamara helped Lori and Andrea lead her to the Station Wagon where she fell into a fitful sleep on the blankets in the back. Andrea climbed in with her to make sure she was alright, Carl sleeping against one side of the trunk while T-Dog slept in the front seat. That left the RV for Glenn, Shane, Rick, Lori, Dale, Tamara and Daryl.

* * *

The next morning after a breakfast of water and canned fruit, Rick got everybody together and organised to go out looking for Sophia again. Once everyone was organised and Dale, Shane and Rick had guns, Rick rolled out a leather pack of huge knives onto the bonnet of a car beside the RV.

"Everybody takes a weapon." He said.

"These aren't the weapons we need." Andrea said annoyed. "What about the guns?"

"Ain't we bin over that?" Shane asked. Dale, Rick and I are caryin'. Can't have people poppin' off rounds every time a tree rustles."

"It's not the trees I'm worried about." Andrea murmured setting Tamara's teeth on edge.

"Say somebody fires at the wrong moment, herd happens to be passing by? See then it's game over for all of us. So you need to get over it." Shane told her in no uncertain terms.

Daryl spoke up when everyone went silent, "The idea is ta take the creek up about five miles and then come down the other side. Chances are she'll be by the creek, it's her only land mark." He walked away chewing the inside of his cheek in a habit Tamara knew meant he was uncomfortable and getting a little stressed. She knew it would disappear once they got out into the woods and he started tracking, then every part of him would be trained on that.

For this Tamara was glad. The nap she had taken the day before and a relatively good night's rest that night hadn't taken away her dizziness or her roiling stomach and she was starting to worry that she might be sick.

Shaking off her thoughts she took one of the knives, it was smaller than the rest but still hefty enough to have enough weight behind it to do some damage if she ever had to swing it at a walker. Just the thought made her feel ill and so she busied herself with explaining to Lacy that the little girl had to stay with T-Dog and Dale while she went with everybody else into the woods.

The small child only looked up at her briefly before she marched over to T-Dog and pointed at his arm, "Smoosh for boo-boo?"

The large black man looked to Tamara for a translation. "She wants to kiss your arm better." The raven haired beauty explained and then smiled when T-Dog knelt down in front of Lacy and let her press a gentle kiss to the frozen gel pack over his stitches.

Satisfied that she was in good hands Tamara waved at her niece and the big man the little girl now had twisted around her little finger and turned to put a couple bottles of water and some protein bars into her backpack.

"Ya good?" Daryl asked from behind her.

"Fine, why?" she kept her answers short knowing that Daryl would sense she wasn't feeling well if she said anything else, a trait she'd learnt he possessed a few weeks after they had started dating four years before.

"Yer face's white 'nd yer shakin'." His tone was hard and she knew he was mad she hadn't told him something was wrong and that she was trying to hide it now.

"Doesn't matter." She murmured tightening her hands into fists to try and stop her fingers from shaking. "Finding Sophia is more important." She glanced back up at him and saw he didn't believe her, "I didn't sleep well, is all." She told him before walking passed him, laying a kiss on his stubble roughened cheek as she did.

The heated discussion Dale and Andrea were having caught everyone's attention. Tamara got most of it when Dale started talking about when he had talked Andrea out of staying in the CDC building before it blew up. And then Andrea started talking about suicide as a kind way to die, the way she wanted to go, a death that wouldn't hurt anyone else and Tamara couldn't take it anymore. She strode up to Andrea and Dale just as Andrea stepped past the older man to walk away, and pressed the buck knife from the sheath at her hip into the taller blonde's hand. "Here, if you're so eager to kill yourself. Blades hurt more and there's more mess but you'll get your wish and then you'll be gone. That's what you want right?"

Andrea stared at her in confusion, anger and a little bit of horror.

Snarling, Tamara caught the taller woman's chin and forced her eyes to her own. "You think killing yourself doesn't hurt anyone else? You think you're just gone and then it's over for us too? It's not true. You leave behind a mess, and grief and pain. Maybe you should stop being so selfish and try and think of someone else like Dale, or the three kids you would have left behind; because you can bet they'll remember you as the woman who was in their lives and smiling at them one day and then gone the next, all because she was too selfish to stick it out like everyone else here." Andrea tried to look away but Tamara wasn't having it, "This isn't about you sweetheart, it's about that little girl out in those woods waiting for us to find her." With a withering glare, Tamara dropped Andrea's chin and spun on her heel leaving the group stuck dumb in her wake. She pulled her hand away from Daryl's as he reached out to help her over the guard rail and down the bank. The rest of the group following silently a few moments later.

They walked through the woods in silence, Daryl leading the column of searchers toward where Sophia's trail Rick and he had followed the day before had gone cold. When they got there Daryl led them on, following a trail that only he could see.

The group came around a natural screen of trees and that's when Daryl stopped them, motioning silently for them to stay quiet and for the group to get down. They followed his line of sight to see a pop up tent up ahead. Daryl checked it out but it was empty save for the occupant that had 'opted out' long before.

That's when they heard the bells echoing through the woods. The group broke into a run and followed the noise. They came across a white clapboard church surrounded by gravestones. It had no steeple but Rick led them to the front door anyway. When they got inside, however, all they found were three walkers. Shane, Rick and Dale walked in and dealt with them, Shane and Rick letting their fear show by slamming their large knives into the walker's heads more times than necessary, while Daryl killed his walker with a well-placed slice across the face deep enough to hit the brain and take it out.

Unable to handle the grizzly sight, Tamara turned away and sat heavily on the church steps, her head in her hands and her back to the rest of the group and then the bells started up again and everybody raced out and around the side of the church to find a loudspeaker connected to a small box on the wall. Glenn moved quickly and pulled out a handful of wires as Daryl paced, anger and frustration rolling off of him in waves.

"A timer. It's on a timer." He said waving the long hooked knife he had in his hand around in his frustration.

Carol looked defeated, "I'm gonna go back in for a bit." She said tearfully, climbing back up the church steps to go inside.

Most of the group followed her in.

She walked up to the crucifix hanging at the front of the church and knelt in front of it and started praying.

Tamara kept her eyes on the stain glass window to the right of it and listened as the older woman prayed.

"Father, forgive me. I don't deserve your mercy. I prayed for safe passage from Atlanta and you provided. Prayed for Ed to be punished for laying his hands on me. And for lookin' at his own daughter, whatever sickness was growin' in his soul."

Everything in that church fell away for Tamara as Carol said those words and the only thing that kept her on her feet was Daryl's body when he stepped up behind her and wrapped a protective arm around her waist. Flashes of the memories of her stepfather coming into her room at night after her mother died when she was fifteen made her flinch and Daryl's arm tightened around her, his head dropping so that he could murmur in her ear and no one else could hear.

"Breathe, darlin'." He told her. "Ain't time ta break down yet, ya hear?" Even as Tamara shuddered in his arms he continued, "The bastard's long dead. I promised ya that, ya remember?"

Clenching her jaw the brunette turned in her husband's hold and pressed her face to his shoulder, the warmth of his body coupled with his soothing words and tone helping to slowly calm her down. When she knew she was able to walk without help, and the nightmares of her past were pushed back into a corner of her mind again, she pulled away from Daryl enough to cup his face in her hands and push up on tiptoe to kiss him. It was her way of telling him she was okay now as well as a way for her to ground herself in the reality of the present instead of sinking back into her past. Stepping away from him she sniffled and walked out of the church not wanting to look back and see Carol sitting defeated in the front pew, Lori beside her trying to comfort her.

When Daryl and the others came outside a few minutes later, Tamara was sitting under a tree in the cemetery, her eyes on the clouds and her thoughts on Lacy, T-Dog and Dale back at the RV.

Shane and Rick had a quick (but what looked to be a heated) discussion a few feet out of ear shot and then Shane strode back to the group, "Y'all gonna follow the creek-bed back, okay? Daryl you're in charge." He told them. "Me and Rick, we're just gonna hang back, search this area another hour or so, just t'be thorough."

"Split us up?" Daryl asked. "Ya sure?"

"Yeah." Shane sighed as if it wasn't a big thing but Tamara could see that Daryl thought otherwise. "We'll catch up t'ya." Shane added.

"I wanna stay too." Carl spoke up. "I'm her friend."

Shane turned to Rick. Lori, seeing that her husband's mind was made up, turned to Carl and told him to be careful before she gave him a hug and a kiss. But when Rick tried to give her his gun she wouldn't have it.

To keep a marital fight from breaking out, Daryl pulled a revolver that he had tucked into the belt at the back of his pants, "Got a spare." He held it out to Lori, "Here, take it."

She did so and he walked away getting ready to lead the rest of the group.

Tamara saw Andrea's disbelieving look as she walked passed her. Ignoring it she caught up to Carol and Glenn and slipped her hand into Carol's trying to give her as much support as she could even as her thoughts about Lacy became anxious, tainted with the fear she had felt the day before when the herd of walkers had nearly found them.

The group had been walking for about an hour when Carol spoke up, "So is this it? The whole plan?" she asked Daryl, sitting down on a fallen log.

The man in question sighed, "I guess the plan is ta whittle us down inta smaller an' smaller groups."

As Andrea hassled Lori about how she now had a gun when all the others only had arrows and knives, Tamara paced a few feet away from the others.

Daryl moved to lean on a tree an arm's length from where Tamara was still pacing. Sick of her noisy steps he snaked out an arm and pulled her back against his chest. "'Nough 'Mara." He murmured gruffly in her ear.

"Do you think Lacy's alright?" Tamara asked cutting him off.

"Kid's with T-Dog 'nd Dale. She's fine." He assured her his chin leaning on her shoulder after he slouched down the tree a little to compensate for their height difference.

Tamara wasn't to be distracted by the feel of him so close. "But she doesn't know them all too well and what if she pitches a fit coz I'm not there?"

Daryl mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'there were no fits bein' pitched over at the RV coz there was a good one happenin' right here'.

With an affronted gasp, Tamara elbowed him in the ribs which didn't faze him, but attempting to pull away from him after that was futile as Tamara quickly learnt. "But what if-."

"'Nough woman. Girl's fine and we got anotha little girl ta find, so stop." Daryl ordered not needing the complication of having to worry about his wife being alert when he had to lead four other inexperienced people back through the woods safely.

Tamara slumped against him, after three months without him, even here, sweaty, running from walkers, smelling of walker blood and rotten flesh, and trying to find a lost little girl out in the woods, she revelled in the feel of his muscled arm around her stomach, his hard chest against her back and his face buried in her now wild and knotted black hair. "Okay." She mumbled dropping her head a little so that he could bury his face in her hair for a minute more before he went back to keeping an eye out for walkers.

They headed out a few minutes later, the feeling in the now smaller group one of regret for how they were all blaming Rick for Sophia's disappearance. They had been called out by Lori who was sick of everyone blaming her husband even though he was the only one to go after Sophia and then lead the walkers away.

Tamara was left to her own thoughts as she trekked after the others, at the back of the line of searchers, just in front of Lori. She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of a single gunshot echoing through the woods. Everyone stopped and Daryl motioned for them to stay quiet as he tried to hear if there were any yells or more shots. When there weren't he told them that they had better keep walking.

They walked a little further until Andrea spoke up, looking back at Lori who had stopped and was looking back at where they had come from, "You still worrying about it?" she asked.

"That was a gunshot." Lori said searching the trees for any signs of anything else.

"We all heard it." Daryl said his eyes roving on around the trees all around them even while he stopped with the rest of their now smaller group.

Lori turned to him, "Why one? Why just one gunshot?"

With a quick shrug, Daryl guessed, "Maybe they took down a walker."

"Please don't patronize me. You know Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down a walker. Or Shane." She added. "They'd do it quietly."

"Shouldn't they have caught up with us by now?" Carol asked.

Daryl didn't look too worried, "There's nothin' we can do about it anyway. Be runnin' round these woods chasin' echoes."

"So what do we do?" Lori asked abruptly, obviously worried about Rick, Shane and Carl.

"Same as we bin." Daryl told her right away, "Beat the bush for Sophia, work our way ta the highway."

"I'm sure they'll hook up with us back at the RV." Andrea assured Lori who took one more look back at the woods behind them and then continued on with the others.

Andrea stopped to talk to Carol but Tamara could have cared less, the dizziness that had plagued her since the day before was back and so was her churning stomach. She lurched away from the others and behind a tree, holding herself up with one palm against the rough bark, and managing to keep quiet as she lost the food and water she had eaten that day. She realised that Lori was kneeling beside her, rubbing her back and holding her hair away from her face when she was finished. "Thanks." She murmured taking the offered bottle of water and washing her mouth out before sucking down a few greedy swallows.

"You okay?" Lori asked quietly.

Tamara wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand and nodded. "I think it's just the heat and the stress. Shane said I got sun strike yesterday and I didn't sleep well." The lies were easy to tell now that she knew exactly what was wrong with her. She had felt this way only once before in her life and the realisation of what was wrong had hit her like a ton of bricks as she sat on the steps of that church a few hours before.

Lori didn't look completely convinced but only nodded as the two women moved back to the group to hear Daryl's comment, "It's a waste a time all this hopin' and prayin'. Just gotta locate that little girl. She's gonna be just fine." He told Carol. He turned to start leading the group again but it was his parting comment that made Tamara and Lori share a smile, "Am I the only one Zen around here? Good Lord."

The searching came to a stop twenty minutes later, "Gonna lose the light before too long." Daryl told the rest of the group. "I think we should call it."

"Let's head back." Lori agreed.

"We'll pick it up again tomorrow?" Carol asked her.

"Yeah, we'll find her tomorrow."

Daryl whistled to get everyone's attention and then motioned back the way they had come.

"How much farther?" Andrea asked sounding tired some time later.

Daryl glanced around, "Maybe a hundred yards as the crow flies." He estimated.

"Too bad we're not crows." Tamara sighed, feet aching and head still spinning something awful.

None of the others seemed to notice when Andrea veered away from the group, stamping through the undergrowth.

The group stopped when they realised she wasn't with them. Tamara was about to ask if anyone had seen her leave when they heard bloodcurdling screams. Without hesitation they were running toward them only to see Andrea on the ground screaming and kicking at a walker as he tried to grab her.

And then a horse and rider came out of nowhere. Baseball bat in hand the rider hit the walker in the head and pulled her mount up near Andrea.

"Lori? Lori Grimes?"

"I'm Lori." Lori said.

The woman looked at her, "Rick sent me you gotta come now!"

"Rick?" Lori asked finding it hard to process after Andrea was nearly killed by a walker.

"You gotta come quick, Carl's been shot." The woman said again out of breath and clearly wanting to get moving again. "He's still alive but you gotta come now." When Lori didn't move the woman added, "Rick needs you, just come!"

Lori jumped into action, pulling off her pack and handing it to Tamara.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Daryl said trying to stop her, "We don't know this girl." Seeing that Lori wasn't listening and was moving to get on her horse, "You can't get on that horse."

"Rick said you had others on the highway in that big traffic snarl?" the woman said to Glenn as she pulled Lori up onto the horse behind her, "Back track to Fairburn Road, two miles down is our road. You'll see the mailbox, the name's Greene." Without waiting for an answer, she wheeled her mount around and kicked it into action, galloping away the way she had come.

The rest of the group stood shocked for a moment before the groans of the knocked down walker started up again. It sat upright and looked right at Tamara, still dazed.

"Shut up." Daryl growled walking past it and shooting it right in the temple with an arrow without looking.

The others all hurried to follow him back to the highway and T-Dog, Dale and Lacy.

Dale met them at the guard rail and Glenn quickly explained what had happened to Carl, Lori, Shane and Rick.

"Shot? What do you mean, shot?" he asked wide eyed.

"I don't know Dale." Glenn panted glancing back to see the others hurrying up the bank behind him. "I wasn't there. All I know is that this chick rode outta nowhere like Zorro on a horse and took Lori."

Dale turned worried eyes onto Daryl who was helping Carol and then Tamara over the guard rail. "You let her?" he asked.

"I'm not dumb outta my own ass, old man." Daryl growled annoyed at being questioned, "Rick sent her. She knew Lori's name, and Carl's."

Tamara ignored the rest of the conversation eyes only for Lacy as the little girl raced toward her. She knelt down and caught up the little girl in a tight hug pressing her lips to her forehead. "Ya miss me, sweetheart?" she asked when the little girl let her go enough for her to pull back and smile down at her.

"Yes Momma. Unc Dale let me go up." A small finger pointed at the top of the RV. "'Nd Unc Doggie got smoosh for his boo-boo."

"Another kiss for Uncle T-Dog? Ain't he just the luckiest uncle in the world?" Tamara's smile widened until she saw T-Dog sitting on the back bumper of the RV, wrapped in a blanket. Hitching Lacy up onto her left hip she walked over to T-Dog's side, "Hey honey, what's wrong?"

The large man looked up at her with glassy eyes, "Dale says I got an infection." He murmured.

Tamara's eyes widened in shock and she put Lacy down before kneeling in front of him, "May I?" she asked hands hovering over the bandage on his arm. It looked like Dale had changed it, putting more gauze down and using tape to hold it in place because the bandages T-Dog had been wearing before were too dirty to use any more.

Nodding, the large black man held out his arm and let her check underneath. The sight of redness, swelling and puss around and in the wound made Tamara's stomach roll. "I'm so sorry." She gasped out. "I thought it was clean. I should've kept an eye on it."

T-Dog shook his head, "It's fine, Tamara. Just gonna have ta look for antibiotics, that's what Dale said."

Tamara sighed and stood up. "I'll go and get you more Tylenol, try and take away the pain and keep the fever down." On instinct she leant over him and pressed a kiss to his bald head before ducking away to find the bags she and Daryl had in the back of the RV, Lacy sitting quietly at T-Dog's feet and playing with stones she had found.

When Tamara came back out of the RV and gave T-Dog his medicine she heard what the others were talking about.

Carol was refusing to leave the highway and go to the Green's farm in case Sophia came back.

"If Sophia found her way back and we were gone, that would be awful." Andrea spoke up.

"Okay." Daryl nodded and Tamara knew he would volunteer to stay back, "We gotta plan for this. I say tomorrow mornin' early 'nough ta pull up stakes. Give us a chance ta rig a big sign, leave her some supplies." Carol smiled at him gratefully. "I'll hold here tonight," he continued. "Stay with the RV."

Dale nodded, "If the RV is stayin' I am too." He promised.

"Thank you." Carol said softly. "Thank you both."

Tamara leaned back quietly against the RV and watched with a smile as Daryl took charge of the group and offered his help to Carol, a thing he wouldn't have done even three days earlier, her husband was growing into the man she always knew he was but he had been beat down by his Daddy and his life for so long that he hadn't ever shown his true nature. Sadly she knew that Merle not being there also helped things some.

Once it was agreed that Glenn would take T-Dog to the Green farm Tamara spoke up, "Could you take Lacy too? She's too little to stay here and I'll feel better if she's somewhere safe." She looked at Glenn. "Please."

The younger man nodded, "Of course. She'll be better off there." He nodded only a little apprehensive about looking after Lacy until the rest of the group followed them.

Daryl had walked off to Merle's bike. He came back a few moments later, a handful of oily rags in one hand and a Ziploc bag filled with blue tablets and pill bottles. He threw the handful of rags at Dale's chest, "Keep yer oily rags off my brother's motorcycle." He told him before putting the bag down on the top of the Station Wagon, "Why'd ya wait till now ta say anythin'?" he asked opening the bag and doing through it, "It's my brother's stash. Crystal. Ex, don't need that. Some kick ass pain killers." He threw the bottle to Glenn before grabbing another bigger bottle, "Oxicycleen." He chucked the bottle to Dale. "Not the generic stuff neither. That's first class." He closed the bag and picked it up walking back toward the bike, "Merle got the Clap on occasion." He shrugged.

"Aw come on Daryl. We don't need ta hear about anything that brother of yours got." Tamara groaned in disgust.

He just glanced over at her as he put the bag back into the bike's saddle bags, a smirk pulling up one corner of his lips and his intense gaze softened by the teasing glint she could see in them.

A thrill swirled through her and she bit her lip to hide her own smile before heading into the RV to warm three cans of beans for their dinner. Unable to stomach anything other than protein bars and water she at one quickly as she worked and then served everyone some food before sitting down outside with her back to the RV to feed Lacy her dinner and push her beans around her own plate. They were joined by Daryl when he swapped look out duty with Dale. "Ya ain't eatin'." He murmured, his arm coming up to slide over her shoulders.

"Just tired, I guess." Tamara murmured putting down her fork and watching Lacy chase rubbish beside the RV as it was blown across the concrete by the breeze. It was at that moment that she hated that Daryl was so observant.

Daryl's eyes stayed on the tree tops he could see above the Station Wagon roof, "Ya forget I know when yer lyin' 'Mara." He said his voice low so that Lacy wouldn't hear the conversation and the others inside the RV (Dale on top) wouldn't hear either; he didn't need them knowing his business.

Tamara swallowed hard and thought about telling him the truth but that would mean he'd have one more thing to worry about when he was so invested in getting Sophia back. Changing her mind she turned and put both their plates down on the ground beside him before she put her legs over his and turned her body to face him. "We really gonna talk right now?" She asked softly.

Daryl studied her for a moment before shrugging and glancing a Lacy, "Not like we can do anythin' else."

Tamara smiled and lay her head on his shoulder wanting to act nonchalant even though she knew her next words would make Daryl act one of two ways, either he'd flip out and start yelling or he'd be all for it and drag her to her feet. She hoped it would be the latter. "Go get your crossbow. I'm gonna get Lacy ready to go with T-Dog and Glenn and leave her with Andrea. Then we can go for a walk in the woods." She waited for a beat, "Just you and me. Alone."

Daryl tensed for a breath beside her before she heard the tell-tale growl of comprehension and then he was pushing up onto his feet, pulling her up beside him and calling Lacy to her side. Without a word he snatched up the pile of plates at his feet and stepped into the RV long enough to drop them in the sink. Tamara shook her head at him when he came back outside and strode over to Merle's bike to grab his crossbow. At the heated look he was sending her she got her butt into gear, taking Lacy inside and explaining that she and Uncle Daryl were going for a walk and that she had to stay with Aunty Andrea until they got back. Her words earned her a knowing look from Andrea but the blonde woman didn't say anything just enlisted the little red-headed girl to help her wash dishes.

Tamara stepped out of the RV to see Daryl leaning back against one of the abandoned cars closest to the highway guard rail. She made her way to his side quickly and let him help her over the metal rail and then down the bank. As soon as they stepped into the woods and out of sight of the RV Daryl spun her around and pushed her back against the trunk of a nearby tree. Her murmur of protest at his rough treatment cut off the moment his mouth closed over hers. And then they were pulling at each other's clothes trying to smother their moans against each other's necks. If anyone had seen them they would have thought they hadn't touched each other in months not days.

After, Daryl helped Tamara right her clothes and smooth down her hair but there was no way to hide the love bite on her collarbone or her swollen lips just as there was no way to hide the self-satisfied smirk turning up the corners of Daryl's lips and lightening his intense gaze. As soon as he had stepped over the guard rail beside her she pushed his arm.

A little surprised at the move, Daryl stumbled half a step before he saw the mischievous look on Tamara's face, one he hadn't seen since their night together at the CDC, "What was that for?" he drawled a moment before he grabbed her around the waist.

Tamara smothered her giggle against his neck and then twisted to nip at his earlobe with her teeth, "You keep smiling like that and they're gonna know for sure what we were doin' out on our walk."

Daryl snorted, "First, they know what we were doin'. Second, I don't give a rat's ass if they know or not. 'Nd third," he turned her and pushed her up against the car beside them, "Ya keep bitin' me like that and they gonna be hearin' what we're doin', as well as seein' it." He growled his gaze sliding from her lips to the love bite on her neck and down to the top button of her shirt where, if he angled his head right, he could see a fair amount of her cleavage.

"Eye's up here, Daryl." Tamara sassed and then kissed him. She pulled away before he could deepen the kiss any more knowing that not only were they visible to the others at the RV, they also needed to say goodbye to Lacy and make sure she, Glenn and T-Dog got away safely. "Come on." she sighed not letting him kiss her again because she knew if he did she would let her resolve weaken and they wouldn't get back to the RV for a long time.

They walked back to camp side by side, Daryl's hand in the back pocket of her jeans and her arm around his waist. She was thankful for the time they had away because after they got back Lacy wasn't keen on leaving with Glenn or T-Dog and Daryl had to take her to the Station Wagon while Tamara tried to keep it together in the RV. And then, when they were gone and the rest of the group had decided to bed down for the night, they were all kept awake by Carol's crying. In the end Dale went up on the roof to be lookout while Andrea moved to the RV's kitchen table to clean her gun, stock up gun clips with ammo and try and block out Carol's sobs.

Daryl and Tamara were lying on the corridor floor that led from the front of the RV to the back. The space was only just wide enough for one person with a little extra room but Tamara preferred lying with Daryl like this, her head on his chest, his heart beat filling her head. They couldn't do much else let alone sleep like they were used to but she didn't mind.

Carol's sobs were getting louder, however, and Daryl's muscles were tensing more and more under Tamara's hands with every passing minute.

She knew he was close to losing it and telling Carol to shut up so she got up, pressing a kiss to Daryl's chest over his heart before she walked to the back of the RV and lay down behind Carol wrapping her arms around the older woman to try and console her a little.

A few minutes later she heard Daryl sit up. Pushing up onto her elbow the brunette looked at her husband and saw the pain in his eyes as he looked at Carol. She knew he hated the sound of crying women but even more so when they were crying themselves to sleep. He had told her that his mother had done that when he was little, every night after his Daddy beat her, Daryl and Merle (if the elder Dixon was there).

Knowing it brought up bad memories she was torn over whether she should go to him or stay with Carol.

Daryl made her mid up for her, getting to his feet he grabbed the handgun Dale had given him and his crossbow.

"Gonna need my clip now." He murmured to Andrea where she sat at the kitchen table. She handed it to him and he explained just loud enough for Tamara to hear, "I'm gonna walk the road now. Look for that little girl." He glance back once at Tamara and Carol, nodded to them and then turned and left the RV, Andrea followed a few moments later.

Carol continued to cry and Tamara did the only thing she could think of, she pulled the older woman tight against her and started humming. The song started out as a country song she only half remembered from her life before the world went to hell but it soon morphed into a childhood lullaby her own mother used to sing to her when she had nightmares after she had a bad dream. She remembered humming it to herself at night after her mother had died and her step-daddy left her room after one of his visits.

She didn't realise she was crying until Carol moved to look at her, "What's wrong honey?" the short haired woman asked, her voice thick with tears.

Tamara shook her head, "It's nothin' just wishing for my old life. Maybe ta see my Momma again." She smiled sadly. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Carol dried her tears and nodded, "Of course you can."

Biting her lip the younger woman glanced at the RV door again, "You can't tell anybody, especially not Daryl. I need ta tell him myself."

Carol looked a little worried at that but nodded, "I promise."

Taking a steadying breath, Tamara let it go and spoke the words that had been thrilling her and scaring her since the morning, "I think I'm pregnant." She whispered.

Carol stared at her for a moment before pulling her into a motherly hug.

There were no words. Both women knew the dangers of that truth more than either one really knew, and both needed the silence that followed that revelation to carefully think things through and then finally fall asleep.

Tamara woke later that night when Daryl and Andrea came back to the RV. She realised she hadn't even felt Carol leave the makeshift bed beside her.

"'Mara?" Daryl shook her shoulder gently when he saw her lying where Carol had been a little earlier.

"Mmm?" she murmured blinking up at him in the dark, she could just make out his face as he leaned over her. She breathed in his scent, after being in the woods he smelt like the Georgia night and even the new sweat on his skin didn't worry her. But then the hint of a different smell hit her, a smell she knew too well; a walker's rotten stench. Swallowing hard she bolted up, pushing past him and Carol before she shot out of the RV. She made it to the edge of the highway opposite the woods. Hands on her knees she brought up what little was still in her stomach.

"Hell." The sound of Daryl behind her made her wince, she didn't want to lie to him anymore but she couldn't tell him the truth, not now, not until she was sure Sophia was found.

"I'm fine." She gasped trying to believe it herself. Carefully she stood up and pressed a hand to her still flat stomach. Daryl's hands on her waist and then his rough palm on her forehead made her drop her hand quickly so he wouldn't see.

"Ya ain't got a fever." He said as gently as he could and she realised she was shaking.

He was treating her like some frightened animal he had cornered and a flash of anger made her step away from him and throw off his touch, "I told ya I'm fine, damn it Daryl, just leave me alone!" she turned on her heel then and left him standing beside the RV watching her walk away with worried, hooded eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning they made a sign on the windshield of one of the abandoned cars near the spot where Sophia had run into the woods, leaving some of their precious supplies for her as well and then they packed up and took the car Shane had fixed up, the RV and Merle's bike, turned around and followed the young woman's instructions to the Green farm. Tamara refused to ride behind Daryl and ended up in the front passenger seat of Shane's car which Andrea was driving.

The women travelled in silence until they turned down the long driveway at the Greene letterbox.

"So what's up with you and Daryl?" Andrea asked in the silence.

Tamara glanced at her and then turned her eyes back outside to the rolling green hills and wooden fences, "What do ya mean?"

"You two conspiring together to make sure I don't kill myself or something?" the blonde asked.

Eyebrows drawn together Tamara turned her full attention on Andrea, "You're gonna have to be more specific."

Andrea explained that on her walk out to look for Sophia with Daryl that night they had found a man that had hanged himself and turned, Daryl had wanted to leave him hanging but Andrea hadn't, "Then he asked me if I wanna live now."

Tamara licked her lips, "We're not conspiring to do anything." She said truthfully. "He asked that because he knows how I feel about suicide."

"And how's that?" Andrea asked her eyes on Daryl's bike in front of them.

Tamara turned to look outside once more, "My Momma killed herself when I was twelve. I found her." She looked at Andrea who turned pitying eyes on her, "She was gone but I had to pick up the pieces after that. Suicide may be a way out for some but the ones that get left behind aren't free." Looking out the windshield she could just see Daryl riding his brother's bike in front of them through the dust the motorcycle's back wheel was kicking up, "Suicide's only good for the person that's killed themselves."

The convoy pulled up to a large white two story house with a wraparound deck a minute or so later. They quickly got out to see Rick, Lori, T-Do, Glenn and Shane come out to greet them, as did five others, and older man with white hair, a younger man, the young woman that had come to get Lori the day before, a girl with blonde hair that looked no older than fifteen and an older blonde woman.

"How is he?" Dale asked Rick but Lori answered for him.

"He'll pull through." The tall brunette nodded, "Thanks to Hershel and his people."

"And Shane." Rick added. "We'd a lost Carl if not for him.

Tamara glanced up to see that Shane was wearing a shirt and jean overalls that looked to be about three sizes too big for him, he had also shaved off all his hair. But it was the look in his eyes that scared Tamara and she made a note not to let Lacy anywhere near him or to go near him herself when she was alone.

There was a moment of silence before the group came together, hugs being passed around between friends.

Lori whispered quietly in Tamara's ear when she hugged her, "How are you feeling?"

The shorter brunette hid her worry behind a smile, "I'm fine, you don't need ta worry about me, just look after that little boy of yours."

"How'd it happen?" Dale was asking Rick.

"Hunting accident." The cop sighed, "That's all, just a stupid accident."

"Momma!" Tamara turned at the sound of the little voice.

Lacy pushed her way out of the screen door at the front of the house and was caught up in Tamara's arms before she could even make it to the steps.

Burying her face in the little girl's riotous copper curls, Tamara hugged her tight and made her way down to where Daryl was sitting sideways on Merle's bike, "You been a good girl for Uncle Glenn and Uncle T-Dog?" She asked standing near Daryl as the little girl nodded and then kissed Tamara's cheek, "Hi Momma." Tearfully Tamara looked over at Daryl who was watching the reunion silently, "Look who else is here, sweetheart. Uncle Daryl."

Lacy turned her upper body to look at Daryl but shook her head and pointed at him with a small finger, "Daddy."

Tamara froze staring at Lacy as the little girl held her arms out to Daryl, "Daddy, smoosh. Daddy smoosh." She kept saying and Tamara looked at him praying he wouldn't freak out and leave.

Daryl's face was impassive and unreadable but his whole body was tense. He cut his eyes to the rest of the group who were too caught up in talking and unloading the RV and Shane's car to notice the exchange.

Tamara thought he was about to leave when he abruptly stood, crossed the space between her and Lacy and where he had been sitting and lifted the little girl out of her arms.

Lacy immediately pressed a 'smoosh' to his cheek before laying her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his neck, looking at Tamara from beneath her copper curls.

Bursting into tears, Tamara stepped forward and Daryl pulled her in for a kiss, his free hand cupping the back of her head while she pushed up on tiptoes, one hand on his chest, palm to his heart and another on Lacy's back rubbing soothing circles.

When she had calmed down and rubbed the tear tracks from her face she took a breath and went to help the others move the RV and the rest of the vehicles over to a small copse of trees a little ways away from the main house. Once there she and Daryl pitched his tent, which was now their tent, a little way from the others and moved their things to the tent. Lacy then dragged her and Daryl to meet Beth, Hershel's granddaughter.

Beth was young, pretty, and with a head of thick blonde hair, reminded Tamara of some of the girls she had known in high school; gentle girls that had grown up on farms much like this one but had strength to them that no one could see until they chose to show it.

The girl obviously adored Lacy, was friendly and open with Tamara when Lacy introduced her as 'my Momma', but she obviously didn't know what to make of Daryl. When Lacy told her 'that my Daddy', the petite blonde had looked up at Daryl and then away just as quickly.

Tamara looked at Daryl to see he was standing silently, arms folded over his chest, face impassive and closed and eyes intense as ever.

Sighing she brought Beth's attention back on her, "Ignore him, he's just grumpy because he's not Lacy's favourite anymore." she smiled at the teenage girl.

Daryl snorted and turned to walk off, ignoring Lacy who was hot on his heels chattering a mile a minute and not even concerned that he didn't look to be listening.

* * *

Later, after Otis's funeral, Tamara helped Carol, Glenn, Dale and T-Dog set up the other tents and organise their new camp while the others organised where they'll be looking for Sophia next. After the short meeting Daryl walked over to Tamara.

"Goin' back ta the creek bed, gonna start searching there 'nd make my way back here." He said grabbing extra arrows and the canteen Tamara handed to him.

"Be careful." She murmured kissing his cheek and wondering again if she should tell him that she was pregnant, he deserved to know.

Daryl grunted in answer and then left. Seeing that Lacy was about to sneak off to follow him Tamara snagged the back of the little girl's t-shirt, "Uh-uh. Don't even think 'bout it missy. You're staying here with me 'nd Aunty Carol."

The little girl pouted and sat down on her bottom in the dirt, arms folded over her chest and her bottom lip jutting out in an adorable pout.

Carol smiled, the first Tamara had seen from her in two days. "She's a handful."

"Got that right." Tamara sighed going back to separating the dirty clothes from the clean in her and Daryl's bags ready to wash once clean water was pumped up from the well Hershel had allocated for them to use. She kept one eye on the little redhead but made sure to make it look like she was ignoring her until her stubborn hissy fit ended. "Gets that from my sister. She would always pout and glare until I gave in and she got her own way."

"At least you have Lacy to remind you of the good days." Carol said softly.

Tamara looked up at the older woman who was going through her and Sophia's things for dirty clothes to wash. "We'll get her back. You gotta believe that, Carol." She said gently.

With a nod and a deep breath from the older woman they turned back to their own work, Lacy got over her grump and moved closer to play with a doll knotted out of rags Tamara made for her after finding one of her t-shirts with too many holes to even think about sewing up and ripped it into strips.

A few hours later Tamara was helping Carol clean up the RV when she looked out the window to see T-Dog, Glenn, Andrea, Dale, Lori, Shane and the young woman who had brought Lori to Carl and Rick the day before (she remembered her name was Maggie) standing around the well looking at something. For a split second she panicked about Lacy before remembering Beth had taken her up to the house to eat a piece of fresh made bread and play dolls so that she was out of the way and out of the heat. Shaking her head she went back to washing down every hard surface with soapy water and a rag while Carol washed dishes.

"You told Daryl yet?" Carol asked gently when Tamara went to dump her dirty water and hang the rag outside the door to dry.

Tamara didn't stop what she was doing but she kept her eyes firmly on the dirt clouded water she was squeezing out of the rag, "Not yet."

Carol stopped, hands wrist deep in soap bubbles and water, "How far along are you? It can't be from that night at the CDC."

A deep blush coloured Tamara's cheeks as she shook her head, "It's not. I'm estimating here but I think I'm about four and a half months."

Carol turned to her wiping her hands on a cloth, "So, before the apocalypse or whatever this is?"

Tamara lifted her vivid green eyes to her, "About a week before the world went to hell, yeah. I didn't even realise until yesterday outside that church. I've only felt this way once before and it was the same, four months in is when I got sick." She looked down at the damp rag in her hands.

There was silence between them for a while until Carol asked hesitantly, "What happened last time?"

Tamara's gaze snapped up to hers before she lifted her chin and turned to leave, "He died." She murmured and then left the RV to get some air.

She made it into her and Daryl's tent a moment before the pain hit. It took the breath from her lungs and made her knees buckle. She fell to the floor, "Please no." she gasped wrapping an arm around her waist as she bit back a loud moan when another wave hit. Breathing hard she doubled over and dug her fingers into the tarpaulin that served as the floor of the tent. "Please God, don't take this one." She sobbed.

She heard Daryl come into their tent as the sun was starting to set. He laid his crossbow beside the mattress they were using as a bed and then sat down beside her. Leaning over her he put his hands down on the mattress on either side of her body and looked at her. She knew the fact that she was laying curled in on herself, arms around her stomach was worrying him, as was the paleness of her skin.

"Ya still feelin' sick?" he asked his voice back to the gentle tone that made her want to weep.

She shook her head, eyes on the tent wall she was facing not trusting herself to speak.

"I'll get the doc."

He started to move away but she caught his wrist and tugged on it weakly, "Lay with me." Her voice sounded scared even to her own ears and for a moment she thought Daryl would ask her what was wrong but then the thud of his boots hitting the ground reached her ears and he turned on the mattress, laying down behind her, arms sliding around her body and his forehead pressing to the back of her head, his legs tangling with hers and his left arm slipping under head as his right arm pulled her back into his body, his hand moving down to lace his fingers with hers over her belly.

Tamara turned her face to the pillow beneath their heads and silently cried herself to sleep.

* * *

She woke up the next morning feeling better than she had the last two days. She hadn't bled so she knew that the baby was still alive. She turned to feel Daryl pull her tighter against his chest. She loved when he was like this, her tough hunter liked to cuddle in the morning. He was relaxed and looked like a little boy with his hair sticking up at odd angles and his face buried in her dark curls strewn across the pillow between them. Leaning forward she pressed her lips to his before kissing both eyelids, the tip of his nose and his forehead. When she finally pulled away a little his brow pulled together and he got a little crease between his eyebrows.

"That it?" he asked his voice rough with sleep.

Tamara smirked, "I'd kiss more of you but I think everyone's already getting up. They'd hear and Lacy's gonna be here soon from her sleep over with Beth. Not sure she should see us like that, d'yah?"

Daryl's sharp blue eyes opened and he looked at her, "What ya mean the kid's coming over?"

As if on cue the tent zip was tugged open and a little red-headed ragamuffin crawled in. She launched herself at Daryl's stomach and it was only his quick reflexes that saved him from two little knees further south than his belly. "Damn kid." He growled glaring at her as she sat on his chest.

Lacy wasn't fazed. She leant forward and pressed a sloppy kiss to Daryl's lips surprising him.

Tamara giggled as he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand looking like a little kid himself.

Oblivious, Lacy crawled over him and curled into Tamara's arms for her morning cuddle and started talking a mile a minute and showing Tamara her new knitted doll.

Seeing that he would be ignored by both females in his life Daryl got up and pulled on a ratty grey wife beater and the jeans he had been wearing the night before. He sat down on the edge of the mattress to pull on his boots and felt Tamara's hand on his back.

Looking at her over his shoulder he saw her smile softly up at him before turning back to Lacy, her hand never leaving his back. Once his boots were on he dug around his bag and pulled out one of the few shirts he owned that still had sleeves. Turning he leaned over the bed and kissed Tamara hard and long pulling away far enough to see her face after and smirked at the glazed but heated look in her eyes. The moment ended when Lacy sat up and patted his cheek demanding a 'smoosh'.

Looking down at her impassively he wondered if she would ever realise that he used that look to try and scare her. But no, she just got fed up with waiting and used his shoulder to pull herself to her feet before laying another sloppy and somehow sticky kiss on his cheek.

Daryl's glare darkened and he growled trying to wipe off the wet stickiness as Tamara laughed at him.

Satisfied that she had got what she wanted, Lacy lay back down in Tamara's arms and waved at him when he grabbed his crossbow and went to unzip the tent flap all the way to leave, "Bye Daddy."

Daryl glared at Tamara, "Keep laughin' girl. You're gonna have ta wash her. She got a sticky mouth." He looked at Lacy and nodded to Tamara, "Momma wants a 'smoosh' too, kid." Before leaving the tent.

Tamara's laugh stopped abruptly and she turned to try and stave off an enthusiastic three year old that was intent on giving her a sticky kiss.

After getting up and getting Lacy into the shower over at the big house and then into clean clothes, Tamara spent the rest of the day washing clothes with Lori and Carol and organising food for the others when they came back in from their grid search for Sophia.

But when they sun was starting to set and Daryl still hadn't come back she started to worry.

"He still not back?" Carol asked coming out of the RV to stand beside Tamara where she shifted her weight from foot to foot looking out over the field to the spot where Daryl had rode into the woods. Seeing the panicked look on her face, the older woman put a hand on her shoulder, "I'm sure he's fine."

Tamara glanced at her and covered her friend's hand with her own and smiled gratefully before turning her eyes back to the woods, "Do ya mind looking after Lacy? I'm just gonna go sit near the woods, wait for him to get back."

Carol looked worried about her going by herself but knew she couldn't say no, "Of course, go." She looked up at the RV roof where Andrea stood as lookout, "You hear that Andrea?"

The blonde woman nodded, "I'll keep an eye out for you too. You need anything just yell."

Tamara smiled gratefully at both women before giving Carol's hand one more squeeze and then starting off toward the edge of the woods. She stopped a few yards away from the line of trees and sat down in the grass, pulling up a piece of grass she rolled it between her fingers and let her gaze travel back and forth over the treeline. Sighing she lay down in the grass and let her eyes slide shut enjoying the last rays of sunlight warming her skin. Soon, as she relaxed into the thick soft grass, her thoughts turned to the little life growing inside her. She tried to think of a way to tell Daryl soon. When she came up empty she thought instead of names. She had seen the white flower sitting in a beer bottle of water in the RV and knew Daryl had found it and brought it to Carol to try and give her some hope.

The brunette's thoughts turned to the story Daryl had told her years before when they were first dating. He had told her the story of the Cherokee Rose one night when they had been locked in his truck in a thunder storm. It had been their second time making love and after they had lain on the leather seat, wrapped in each other's arms and Daryl had told her the legend of the Cherokee Rose.

"Cherokee Rose." She said to herself. "Rose or Rosie for short." The name rolled off her tongue and she could see Daryl carrying a little girl about Lacy's age on his shoulders, her black curls framing her face, her eyes just as intense and blue as Daryl's. A smile graced Tamara's face and she sighed, her hand dropping to caress her still flat belly. She would tell him tonight when he got back from looking for Sophia and then they'd have a beautiful growing secret to keep until she had carried this baby past her fifth month.

The sound of leaves shivering and shuffling feet brought Tamara out of her daydream. She sat up instantly alert only to see a figure limp its way out of the tree line a few feet to the left of where she had been looking for Daryl. Jumping to her feet she pulled the buck knife from the sheath at her hip and took a fighting stance.

But the figure looked so familiar. "Daryl?" she sobbed out and then he turned and she nearly feinted right then. He was covered in blood and dirt and was dragging his crossbow behind him along the ground, but his eyes were still so intense and clear. Hearing running feet she knew that others from camp were on the way. She tried again, praying he wasn't turned, "Daryl? Baby?"

And then T-Dog, Shane, Rick and Glenn were there. Shane grabbed her arm and dragged her back beside him.

"No! He's not turned, Rick he's not turned!" she screamed fighting Shane's bruising grip on her arm as Rick lifted his pistol and aimed at Daryl's head.

"That's the third time ya pointed that thing at my head!" Daryl yelled, "Ya gonna pull the trigger or what?"

Rick, T-Dog and Glenn relaxed right away and Rick dropped the arm holding his weapon down to his side.

Tamara pried Shane's fingers from her upper arm and was about to take a step toward him when a shot rang out and Daryl's head snapped to the side, his body thrown back and to the ground.

"No!" she screamed running to his side and falling to her knees beside him.

Rick screamed back at the camp to whoever had taken the shot but all Tamara was worried about was Daryl.

"Baby?" she sobbed her hand shaking as she reached out to touch his cheek, "Daryl!" she screamed panicking when she saw the blood on his temple.

And then he blinked and put a hand to his head.

The other men dragged him to his feet as Glenn helped Tamara up.

"I's kidding." Daryl slurred as Rick and Shane slung his arms over their shoulders.

"Oh my God! Oh my God is he dead?" Andrea screamed, panicked, as she and Dale met the small group making their way back to camp.

"No, you just grazed him." Rick said his voice tight with anger.

Hearing what he said Tamara saw red. She pulled out of Glenn's hold and lunged at Andrea, "You shot him!" she screamed trying to squirm out of T-Dog's grasp when the large black man caught her before she could get to Andrea. "You shot him!"

T-Dog wouldn't let her go no matter how much she struggled and the group continued across the field and toward the big house.

Glenn pointed at Daryl's chest clearly freaked out, "Look at-what the hell happened? He's wearing ears."

The others noted the string of three ears, clearly from walkers, tied around Daryl's neck.

Rick ripped them from around his neck and put them in his breast pocket. "Let's keep that to ourselves." He said.

Tamara pulled out of T-Dog's grasp and walked beside Rick, her heart in her throat and tears threatening as she saw how hurt Daryl was, he also had a makeshift bandage around his middle.

"Guys!" T-Dog called from where he had fallen behind, "Isn't this Sophia's?" he held up a cloth doll that Sophia had been clutching the day she ran from the walkers.

The others stopped and stared at it but Tamara didn't want them to stop, she grabbed Rick's arm, "Please, he's hurt bad." She begged tearfully.

Rick nodded once and they took Daryl the rest of the way up to the big house.

Hershel led them to a room on the first floor and they put him down on the bed. Taking the cloth Hershel held out to her, Tamara sat on the bed on Daryl's right and leaned over him to hold the cloth to the bullet graze just above his left temple.

"Any lower and he wouldn't have been so lucky." Hershel commented as he set about cutting away the makeshift bandage on Daryl's left side.

Anger burned in Tamara's chest, hot and heavy as she thought about how stupid and irresponsible Andrea had been to just shoot, "I'm gonna kill her." She vowed lowly pressing the cloth to Daryl's head a little harder to try and stop the bleeding.

He groaned then, his hand coming up to grab her wrist in a tight grip, "Damn woman, if the cut don't kill me, ya pressin' at it like that will." He mumbled his intense blue eyes opening and landing right on her face. "Wakin' up ta ya is better than wakin' up ta Merle's face any day." He murmured.

Tamara was confused by what he was saying but put it down to his head wound.

Hershel leaned down and poked at the wound in Daryl's side.

"Hell!" Daryl bit out pulling away from the older man's touch, "Ain't one a ya cows, old man. Careful with the proddin'."

Tamara bit her lip and sent Hershel an apologetic look. The older man looked back at her steadily before producing a pair of what looked like sewing scissors. "Are you going to sit still while I cut that shirt off you and sew up those wounds in your side?" he asked.

Daryl shrugged, "Do what ya have ta, doc."

As Hershel set to work, Daryl turned back to Tamara, rolled onto his side once the shirt was gone and then put his hand over hers where it still pressed the cloth to the side of his head, propping his head up on his right hand.

There was a knock on the door and Rick and Shane came into the room, Rick had the doll and a rolled up map in his hand.

"Can we ask you where you found this, Daryl?" Rick asked holding out the doll.

Daryl winced as Hershel started his sewing and Tamara tensed but he relaxed a little after that and then nodded to the map.

Tamara slipped her hand out from underneath his and let him hold the cloth to his own head while she settled herself on the mattress near his head and let Rick kneel beside the bed and roll out the map for Daryl to see.

Her husband pointed to a place on the map and explained, "I found it washed up on the creek bed right there. She musta dropped it crossin' there somewhere."

"Cuts our search grid almost in half." Rick said to Shane.

"Yeah, yer welcome." Daryl retorted as he turned to see Hershel putting the last stitch into his side.

Tamara couldn't look, her stomach was rebelling at the very thought of a needle in Daryl's skin, instead she kept her eyes on the far wall opposite the bed she and Daryl were on.

"How's he looking?" Rick asked Hershel.

"Had no idea we'd be goin' through the antibiotics so quickly." Hershel said plainly. "Any idea what happened to my horse?" he asked Daryl as he went to wash his hands in the basin near the bed.

"Ya mean the one that almost killed me? If it's smart it left the country." Daryl sneered.

"We call that one Nelly. As in Nervous Nelly." Hershel said drying his hands, "I could have told you she'd throw you if you'd bothered to ask."

Tamara put her hand to Daryl's head and gently started to run her fingers through the sweaty strands as he leaned back and closed his eyes obviously in pain even if he'd never admit it.

"It's a wonder you people have survived this long." Hershel said to Rick.

Tamara sighed as Hershel checked the cut on Daryl's head. "You won't need stitches for that one." He said, "But it needs to be cleaned and bandaged and you need to rest."

Tamara nodded as Rick and Shane left the room and Hershel grabbed some gauze and a length of bandage. Once Daryl's head was bandaged the old veterinarian left.

As soon as the door closed behind him Tamara slid down the bed sniffling already, and kissed Daryl desperately. "Don't you ever, ever, ever do that again." She sobbed pressing her lips to his to punctuate each word. "Ya hear me?" she asked cradling his face between her hands. "Never again."

Daryl didn't answer just pulled her closer for another kiss. That told her how scared he had been as well, even if he would never admit it out loud.

After a few minutes of just laying together Tamara sat up and wiped her eyes, "I'm gonna go and get a bowl of water and some soap and a cloth. You need a sponge bath, you stink ta high heaven." She stood up and made to leave the room only to come back to press one last kiss to his lips. "Rest, Daryl. I'll be back in a little while."

When she got out of the room it was to see Carol waiting for her outside the bedroom door.

She stepped into the older woman's outstretched arms and held on tight determined not to cry again. When she felt she could speak around the lump in her throat, she stepped back. "I'm gonna go get water, soap and a cloth. He's dirtier than I've ever seen him and that's sayin' something."

Carol smiled softly, "You do that. I'm sure he'll love it."

Tamara rolled her eyes relieved enough to joke, "Of course he will. He loves me touching him anyway." Realising what she said she blushed prettily and hid her face in her hands, "Ignore me, I'm being stupid."

Carol's smile widened. "Go and get that water, honey. He won't wait for you forever."

Tamara nodded, hugged her friend once more and then turned down the hall toward the kitchen.

She was back in the bedroom a little later with warm soapy water and a cloth. Seeing that Daryl was lying on the bed with his eyes closed she contemplated coming back later but he heard her turn away and cracked open one eye.

"Ya gonna deny me my first sponge bath, girl?" he asked his accent thicker in his exhaustion.

"You're tired. I'll come back later." She told him but he was giving her a look that said 'are ya serious' even before she'd finished.

Shaking her head with a small smile Tamara turned the lock on the door and put the bowl down on the side table. Sitting on the edge of the bed she dipped the cloth in the water and squeezed out the excess before wiping it over his face first, carefully staying away from his bullet graze but making sure to wash off the blood on the other side of his head from a very small cut that must have happened when he'd been thrown from the horse.

Daryl watched her every move when she dipped the cloth back into the water and wrung it out once more. She leaned over him and began working on his neck and upper chest. The glint in his eyes when she swirled the cloth down over his abs almost made her put it down and start kissing him again but she had an idea how tired he was and that was the only thing that had her pushing away her own desire and ordering him to turn on his side so she could wash his back. Once that was finished she let herself brush her fingers over the scars on his back before she kissed each one leaving the largest for last.

His Daddy had beat him when he was still at home, right up until the time he had stood up and beat his Daddy back. The largest scar at the small of his back had been done when he was eleven, his Daddy's metal belt buckle the cause.

After a moment or two she leant down and pressed the final kiss to that scar before she dropped the dirty cloth back into the now equally dirty water, "'Kay, off with the jeans, sweetie." She ordered all business.

Daryl looked up at her one eyebrow raised, "Never heard ya say that, darlin'." He teased, "Yer usually too busy kissin' me ta worry what I'm doin' with my clothes."

She glared, he loved teasing her and making her blush. She tried to fight the crimson heat blooming across her cheeks but Daryl only made it impossible by holding her gaze and undoing his belt and jeans, sliding them off as he lifted his hips from the bed.

Tamara glanced down his body once before she pulled his jeans from his ankles and dropped them on the floor, "Boxers too, Daryl. Never seen you so dirty." She held up a finger cutting off his smart ass remark before he could even say it, her resolve to just love him wavering as she washed the rest of him before handing him the clean pair of boxers she had thought to bring with her. She pulled the sheet up around his waist, "Now, don't that feel good ta be clean?" she asked her eyes on the sheets as she tucked them around him.

"I ain't takin' more showers if that's what yer getting' at." Daryl grumbled.

Tamara smirked and looked up at him coyly, "Not even if I'm there washing your back?"

Daryl considered for a moment, "Don't tease now, girl." Tamara's smirk widened into a smile that took his breath away, not that he'd ever say it out loud, it'd make him sound like a pussy, "Come 'ere, 'Mara." He said.

She rounded the bed and lay on the mattress beside him, her head on his strong chest. She missed the steady beat of his heart under her ear but the fact that he was there, warm and alive was enough for her.

They both lost track of time and Tamara only realised it was dark out when a knock sounded on the door and she realised she had to get up to unlock and open it.

She smiled at Carol and stepped back to let the older woman in.

Daryl turned and seeing who it was he pulled the sheets up to his armpits.

Tamara watched from near the door as Carol swapped the bowl of dirty water on the side table for a tray with two plates of meat, mashed potatoes and green beans and two glasses of what looked to be sweet tea; the homemade stuff, not the packet stuff.

"How you feeling?" she asked Daryl.

"Bout as good as I look." Was his short reply.

"Brought you two some dinner." Carol said clearly a little upset to see Daryl so hurt. "You must be starving."

Daryl glanced at the plates and then looked at Tamara and then Carol a little unsure of what to say or do.

Suddenly, Carol turned and leaned over him, pressing a kiss to his temple. Tamara bit her lip when she didn't even stop when Daryl flinched at the contact, it was so foreign to him.

"Watch I got stitches." He said suddenly when she straightened up, his tone that of a confused and a bit defensive little boy.

He picked at the sheets as Carol scooped up his dirty clothes and started for the door, smiling at Tamara. She stopped, however, hand on the door post, "You need to know something." She said softly. She spoke again when he turned to look at her, "You did more for my little girl today than her own Daddy ever did in his whole life."

Daryl moved uncomfortably before looking away, "I didn't do anythin' Rick or Shane wouldn't a done."

"I know." Carol murmured, "You're every bit as good as them. Every bit." She then took a hold of the door handle and with one last smile for a teary eyed Tamara, she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Tamara bit her lip and moved quietly back to the side of the bed Daryl was facing. Knowing what he needed now more than anything she slipped under the sheets and turned her back, letting him fit himself around her body and burry his face in her dark hair. He was asleep within minutes and Tamara followed soon after.


	4. Chapter 4

Daryl healed quickly and Tamara soon forgave Andrea enough to not attack her every time she saw her. When the stitches finally came out of Daryl's side four days later, Tamara was relieved that he had healed so fast and hadn't had any complications. She vowed to tell him about the baby that morning after breakfast.

But then Glenn dropped a bomb on the group.

Tamara was sitting on the ground beside the camp chair she and Carol had forced Daryl to take when he came back from the big house with his stitches out. Lacy was sitting in her lap and the group was eating breakfast.

Carol had just spooned more scrambled eggs onto Daryl's plate and Lacy's when Glenn stood up and moved to stand in front of the group, "Umm, guys?" Everyone looked up from whatever they were doing and turned their attention onto him. "So…the barn's full of walkers."

Tamara's fork stopped halfway to her mouth, a cold chill sliding down her spine at his words.

"What?" Daryl asked gruffly, putting down his plate.

Lacy, sensing that there was something going on, climbed out of Tamara's lap and tried to get onto his. Daryl picked the little girl up and let her cuddle into his stomach as Glenn repeated what he had said.

"There're walkers in the barn."

Immediately the group left their food and went to the barn, Lacy safe in Daryl's arms, Tamara staying close to his side as her skin crawled at the thought that Glenn could be right.

Shane was the one to go and look through a crack in the barn wall and when he turned back to the group it was with dark angry eyes, "You cannot tell me you are alright with this." He sneered at Rick.

"No I'm not." The group's unofficial leader said sounding just as mad as Shane. "But we're guests here. This isn't our land."

"Oh God. This is our lives, man!" Shane yelled at Rick.

"Lower your voice." Glenn hissed out when the growling and gurgling from the barn started to increase.

Lori spoke up, "We can't just sweep this under the rug."

"It ain't right. Not remote." T-Dog added.

Shane stopped his pacing, "We either gotta get in there and make this right, or we gotta go. Now, we been talkin' about Fort Benning for a long time-."

Rick cut him off, "We can't go."

"Why Rick, Why?" Shane snapped.

"Because my daughter's still out there." Carol said, her arms wrapped around her stomach.

Tamara moved to her side, trusting that Lacy was safe with Daryl and knowing that her friend needed her.

Shane took a deep breathe, "Okay, now I think it's time we just gotta consider the other possibility."

"Screw you!" Tamara snarled, "You don't get to say that until we have proof."

"Shane! We're not leaving Sophia behind." Rick interrupted seeing the anger and tension between the two.

"I'm close ta findin' this girl." Daryl said starting to pace, Carol taking Lacy from his arms, "I just found her damn doll a few days ago."

Shane scoffed, "You found a doll, Daryl. That's what you did, you found a doll!"

Daryl snapped, throwing a rock Tamara had never seen him pick up at the barn wall before taking a threatening step toward Shane, "Man, ya don't know what the hell ya talkin' about!"

"Man, I'm just saying." Shane defended himself as Rick stepped between them to try and calm them down. Shane then spouted off something about forty-eight hours before he turned on Daryl again, "Let me tell ya something else, man." He said turning back to Daryl, "If she was out there, saw you comin', all methed out with geek ears round your neck, she'd run in the other direction."

Rick stepped between the two men as Daryl went for Shane. He nearly got him but Rick pushed them apart enough for Tamara to step up and push Shane back a couple of steps before slapping him. There was silence as Shane glared down at her with pure hatred in his eyes.

Tamara didn't care how dangerous he was, she was sick of him talking about Daryl like he was a useless redneck piece of trash. She pointed back at Daryl, "You speak like that about my husband or Carol's daughter again, officer," she scoffed at the title, "And I'll happily take my knife to you." She sneered lowly.

The look in his eyes turned dangerous and she knew she'd overstepped some line. He put his finger in her face, "Keep ya hands off me." He said his voice quiet, before he stomped back to camp.

"Just let me talk to Hershel, figure it out." Rick tried to be the reasonable one.

"Man, What are ya gonna figure out?!" Shane screamed at him.

Lori stepped up, hand on Shane's chest, "Enough!"

"If we are gonna stay, gonna clear out this barn, I gotta talk him into it. This is his land." Rick said getting riled up too now.

Dale, ever the sensible one stepped in as Daryl moved toward the barn, "Hershel sees those things in there as people. Sick people. His wife, his-his stepson."

"You knew?" Rick asked shocked.

Dale nodded, "Yesterday. I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited the night?" Shane asked just as antagonised by this whole thing.

"I thought we could survive one more night." Dale raised his voice a little, "We did. I was waiting 'til this morning to say something, but Glenn wanted to be the one."

Tamara moved away to stand beside Carol, worried about Lacy and the fact that Shane was pacing near her, violent rage just barely contained, was making her think about how her stepfather used to act right before he'd hit her Momma.

"Man's crazy. If Hershel thinks those things are alive." Rick tried to calm him down but he wasn't having it, "Man, no!"

The rattling of the barn door made everyone fall silent, hearts pounding in fear as the door rocked on its hinges and the snarls and growls from inside got louder, the walkers were in a frenzy.

Most of the group moved away fearfully but Daryl, Shane and Rick stayed where they were staring at the door.

Lacy reached for Tamara as the noise grew, but the little girl was crying for her 'Daddy'.

Tamara took her from Carol's arms but the little girl was still shaking like a leaf. She looked over at Daryl and he took one last look at the barn before walking right up to Tamara and taking the little girl from her arms. He then wrapped his arm around Tamara's shoulders and led the two of them away from the group and back to camp. He left them at the camp and disappeared up to the big house.

Tamara let Lacy calm down before taking the little girl out to sit with Lori and Carl while the little boy did his math problems. She started to read softly to the little girl from a child's book that Carol had in her things. The Lacy had heard it before but the pictures still fascinated her. A little while later Tamara looked up to see Carol coming back to the camp with red, swollen eyes looking sad and hurt.

Leaving Lacy with Lori and Carl, Tamara followed the older woman to the station wagon and pulled her into a hug as soon as her face crumpled on seeing Tamara.

"What happened, Carol?" Tamara asked softly, rubbing her friend's back.

She shook her head but Tamara wouldn't take that as an answer so she took a breath and explained, "I saw Daryl getting ready to saddle a horse to go out and look for Sophia. I told him he shouldn't go out because he was hurt and that we don't know if Sophia is even alive. He got so mad." She shook her head and Tamara sighed.

"We need to talk." She murmured before leading Carol toward the lake just beyond the trees behind the house. As they walked she explained, "Daryl and I were only married six months when I got pregnant the first time. We were so excited." She smiled at the memory. "Daryl was freaked out at first but then, after my first sonogram we parked in our driveway and Daryl turned off the truck's engine. He'd been so quiet at the doctor's that I was scared he'd just panic. But then he turned to me in the cab of that truck, put a hand on my belly and promised to love and take care of our baby for the rest of his life." She looked at Carol, tears in her eyes, "It wasn't even the fact that he'd promised to take care of the baby, it was the fact that he'd said 'our baby' that made me weep. He loved that baby enough to call it ours."

Carol hugged her knowing that the story didn't have a happy ending.

Tamara continued, "We were so happy for those first four and a half months, and then I collapsed one day when Daryl was out hunting. When he got back that night he found me on the kitchen floor bleeding…" Tamara looked out at the beautiful trees and wildlife around them and blinked back tears, "When the doctor told us I'd lost him I couldn't believe it. Everything had been perfect and he hadn't even moved yet. We decided to name him Elijah Clint Dixon. We buried him with that name. We went through a bad patch after that. Daryl would disappear for days on end with Merle and he'd come back beat up and dirty every time. I didn't even have the strength to ask him what he was doing, or even beg him not to go. And then he came back one night and just sat there, begging me to forgive him for not protecting our baby." Unable to go on, Tamara sobbed on Carol's shoulder before she was able to compose herself, "So you see, Daryl won't be able to give up looking for Sophia until he knows for certain were she is. He's not built to give up looking after those he cares about and he cares for you, Sophia, Lacy, Carl and I, and even the rest of the group."

Carol smiled softly, tears of her own making her blue eyes brighter, "I don't know what I'd do without either of you."

Tamara returned the smile, "You don't ever have to worry about that, sweetheart. I promise."

Carol sighed and then pressed a hand softly to Tamara's slightly curving belly, "Ya hear that little one, Your Momma and Daddy are the best people I've ever known, and don't let anyone tell you different."

Tamara laughed happily before linking her arm with Carol's and letting the older woman lead her to the lakeside. When they got there it was to see Daryl sitting on the small pier, boots off, feet in the water. Tamara slipped away from Carol and walked down the short dock, stopping behind Daryl. She kissed the top of his head and leaned down, whispering in his ear, "Go explain to Carol why you won't ever give up on her baby girl." She murmured her hands rubbing his shoulders slightly before she stepped back to give him some room to move. He stood up and pushed his feet into his boots before walking passed Tamara to lead Carol further around the lake's edge.

While they were gone, Tamara slipped off her own boots and dropped her feet over the edge of the dock and into the cool water below, sighing as she relaxed. The sound of Daryl's boots hitting the dock a few minutes later made Tamara look behind her.

"Ya ready?" he asked standing at the end of the dock.

Tamara took one last look at the water in front of her, flat as dark glass. "Yeah." She murmured her hand sliding over her stomach, "Yeah, I'm ready." Getting up she pulled on her boots and walked over to where Daryl was standing, Carol a few feet away.

Smiling happily she hooked two fingers into his jeans' front pocket and pulled him closer to her by the hip. Pushing up onto tip-toe she caught his lips with hers for a few moments before trying to pull back.

Daryl growled low in the back of his throat, cupped the back of her head and deepened their kiss, his tongue slipping between her lips and tangling with hers before he pulled back with a self-satisfied grin at the crimson flooding her cheeks.

Tamara pushed him in the stomach and turned to march toward Carol only to freeze when Daryl popped her behind with one hand. She turned slowly to glare haughtily at him, "You did not just do that."

Daryl's lips curled at the corners with the hint of a smile and then he proceeded to walk up beside her and pull her under his arm, leading her and Carol back to the house.

They got there to find that Andrea, T-Dog and Glenn were talking and that Andrea and Rick still hadn't left to search for Sophia.

"We were supposed to leave a few hours ago." Andrea said.

Tamara felt Daryl tense beside her, "Yeah you were." He said angrily. "What the hell?"

"Rick told us he was going out." Carol said softly.

Daryl looked back at the older woman and then let go of Tamara, "Damn it! Isn't anyone takin' this seriously?" he asked, "We got us a damn trail." He threw an arm out to encompass the tree line in front of the house.

Lacy, who had been sitting with Beth, Carl and Beth's mom, Patricia on the big house porch, jumped down the porch steps one at a time and attached herself to Tamara's leg. Tamara lifted her up onto her hip just as Daryl noticed something behind her.

"Here we go." He said.

Tamara turned to see Shane walking toward them with the duffle bag of guns Dale kept safe, slung over his shoulder, a rifle in one hand. Daryl walked over to meet him but Tamara couldn't help but wonder how wise it was to give Shane a gun, especially after he flew off the handle that morning.

"What's all this?" Daryl asked motioning to the guns.

Shane's only answer was a growled out, "Ya with me man?"

Daryl took the rifle from his hand with barely a pause and Tamara felt sick, knowing that nothing good could come out of something like this. As Shane spouted on about keeping everyone safe, Tamara moved quickly to Daryl's side and caught a handful of his shirt just below his ribs.

"Daryl, this isn't right. We shouldn't be pulling out guns every time Shane thinks we should." She looked up at him pleadingly, "Please, baby. This isn't right. We have ta talk ta Hershel."

Daryl's face was blank, his eyes hard, "I ain't gonna let ya 'nd Lacy live here while they got walkers in that barn." He growled low. "Ya don't get ta question this, girl. I'm doin' it." He pulled out of her touch just as T-Dog brought the group's attention to the tree line near the farm with a loud curse.

They all turned to see Hershel and Rick leading walkers out of the woods on the ends of animal catching poles, Jimmy acting as a lure in front to lead the walkers toward the barn.

Shane broke into a run almost immediately to meet Rick, Hershel and Jimmy, the rest of the group following along behind.

"What the hell you doin'?!" Shane yelled at them.

Rick tried to calm him down but he was too far gone to even listen. He started yelling about the walkers not being human because all they did was kill. Tamara saw Daryl standing near Shane, his rifle at his shoulder, aimed at the walker Rick had at the end of his pole. But then Shane pulled out his gun and started to shoot the female walker Hershel had on his pole yelling something about a human not being able to walk away from that.

Tamara kept to the back of the group after that. Lacy was curled into her chest, face pressed to her neck, shaking and flinching as each shot went off. Tamara knelt down in the dirt of the path that led from the big house through the gate and to the front of the barn and turned the little girl to her so that she would look at her, "Everything's gonna be all right, honey."

Lacy sobbed out one word, "Daddy."

Tamara's eyes cut to where Daryl was standing staring down the barrel of his rifle at the walker. She turned back to the little red head wailing in her arms. "Daddy's keeping us safe, darlin'. He's gonna be here soon and then he'll hug ya and kiss ya and he won't let ya go 'til ya want him to."

"Shane, enough!" Rick yelled at his friend.

"Yeah, you're right man that is enough." Shane snarled before he stepped forward and shot the female walker Hershel had at the end of his pole in the head.

She collapsed and Hershel fell to his knees in the dust beside her.

"Enough!" Shane yelled pacing frantically. "Risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!"

Tamara's heart dropped when she saw Carol freeze at Shane's words.

"Enough, living next to a barn full of things that are tryin' ta kill us! Enough!" he looked at his partner, "Rick, it ain't like it was before." He started to move toward the barn, "Now, if y'all wanna live. If ya wanna survive ya gotta fight for it. I'm talkin' about fight! Right here, right now!" he turned and ran toward the barn and Tamara knew what he was going to do.

She turned Lacy's face toward her and looked her right in the eyes as the others started screaming, "Darlin', you gotta keep your eyes on me, all right? Don't look at anything else. Ya hear?" the little girl nodded and Tamara pulled her back into her arms, letting her bury her face into her dark hair and wind her arms and legs around her before she stood up, facing the barn just as Shane stepped back from the broken barn door locks and lifted his pistol.

T-Dog, Daryl, Andrea and Glenn moved forward and started shooting as the undead poured out as fast as they could pull their triggers.

Shane turned and shot the walker Rick still had on his pole and then went back to shooting the walkers that were stumbling out of the barn and toward the group. Tamara moved to stand with Carol who was at the back of the group, staring at the massacre.

And then finally it was over. The sudden silence after the barrage of loud bangs and pops made Tamara's ears ring and she slipped her hand into Carol's for emotional support. In that moment, after seeing Shane completely destroy Hershel, Tamara hated and feared him more than she had anyone else. She turned her head a little when Dale walked up. He looked dishevelled and horrified at the sight in front of him.

And then Carol's world came crashing down around her as a turned Sophia stepped out of the barn. Carol's hand slipped from Tamara's and she ran forward toward her daughter. Tamara moved quickly, handing Lacy to Dale and racing after her friend who was now sobbing for her daughter on the ground, Daryl's arm around her waist so she wouldn't go any closer.

Tamara ran to her side, skidding in the dust as she threw herself down onto her knees. She cupped Carol's face in her hands and forced the older woman's eyes to her own, "Don't watch." She said roughly, her own throat thick with tears, "Don't watch."

Carol's tear stained eyes widened and then the sound of a lone gunshot vibrated through the scorching Georgia air and Tamara's body jerked with the grief of that one loud pop. And then Carol's eyes slid shut and she collapsed, her forehead dropping to the dirt under her and her body shaking as she wept for her daughter.

Tamara's eyes filled with unshed tears and she turned her gaze onto Daryl's to see him pull a mask of emotionlessness over his features, shutting out everything else.

He pulled Carol to her feet saying gruffly, "Don't look. Don't look."

She pulled out of his arms and ran from the group. Anger welled up in Tamara and she turned on Shane. Scrambling to her feet she strode over to him and slapped him as hard as she could before pushing him back a step, "You bastard!" she screamed. "How could you? How could you?!"

He grabbed her arm roughly and threw her from him, "Don't touch me!" he growled. "Now we're safe."

Tamara shook her head and glared at him loathing turning her vibrant green eyes to a dark emerald, "You're a monster." She snarled before she turned from him and ran after Carol.

She found her sitting in the RV and staring out the window at the barn. Silently the beautiful brunette sat down in the bench seat across from her and took her hand in her own.

Carol sat rigidly and didn't acknowledge her.

"I know." Tamara told her softly.

The older woman stayed silent and Tamara let her sit like that knowing she needed to get her head around it, to grieve.

The RV door opened a little while later and Tamara looked up to see Daryl step into the mobile home. He glanced between her and Carol and then swallowed hard before he sat on the bench of the small kitchenette fiddling with his fingers, his rifle laid across his lap. He didn't try to talk and Tamara knew that for Carol that was a good and a bad thing. The older woman needed silence for a while but she also needed to talk to someone when she was ready.

A knock sounded on the RV door and Tamara and Daryl both turned to see Lori step up into the RV. "They're ready." She sighed sadly.

Carol didn't even look at her, just shook her head.

"Come on." Lori pressed gently.

Carol shook her head again and then asked in a small broken voice, "Why?"

Tamara's heart tightened painfully when Daryl spoke up, "Coz that's your little girl."

Carol lifted light blue eyes to Tamara's face before she looked up at him, "That's not my little girl. It's some other…thing." She choked out the last word, turned back to the window and took a breath, "My Sophia was alone in the woods." Tamara looked down at the limp hand she held between her own. "All this time I thought…" she stopped and sighed out a soft breath, "She didn't cry herself to sleep. She didn't go hungry. She didn't try to find her way back. Sophia died a long time ago."

Realising she wouldn't go to Sophia's funeral, Lori waited for a moment looking like she was about to say something before she thought better of it and turned and left the RV.

Tamara's vision clouded with tears and she looked up needing Daryl's comfort even as she tried to comfort her grieving friend but anger filled his face and he stood from the kitchen bench and took one last look at Carol before he turned and left the RV as well.

Tamara couldn't get Carol to leave the RV for the funeral Rick organised for the Greene family members and Sophia and so she left her there, curled up on the bed, to stand beside Daryl and pray he and Carol could find their way back from whatever hell they had slipped into.

* * *

As soon as the service was over and the graves filled in, the group broke apart with some going back to moving the other walker bodies while Daryl walked off in the opposite direction of camp and the big house and made his way to up onto the hill overlooking the rest of the Greene property.

Letting him go she put Lacy down for her nap in their tent and then went to take Carol a glass of water. When she got into the RV it was to find the bed empty and she thought about trying to find Carol but knew the grieving woman needed time and space. Steeling herself she told Lori that Lacy was asleep in her and Daryl's tent and then made the trek up the next hill to where Daryl was sitting. He had his back to the ruins of an old fireplace and Tamara realised this must have been where the old homestead had been before the big house had been built.

"Lacy's missing you." It was the first thing she could think of saying.

Daryl stayed where he was sitting, whittling a new arrow, his eyes on the knife and wood in his hand.

"Did ya hear what I said?" the brunette tried again.

"She ain't mine ta worry 'bout." Daryl murmured his voice cold. "Neither was Sophia." The last was said to convince himself as much as her.

Tamara reminded him, "Ya still went after her. And ya still love Lacy like she was your own."

"She's yer blood, not mine!" Daryl growled throwing down the stick and sheathing his buck knife. He surged to his feet anger written on his face and hurt turning his navy eyes a vivid blue.

He stood before her his chest rising and falling with fast breaths and Tamara wanted to hurt him suddenly, the grief and pain of the day bubbling up inside her. "Maybe you're more like your daddy than ya think. Both of ya liked ta hurt your wives. Just in different ways." Daryl's eyes flashed with rage and a deeper hurt than she had ever seen from him but the words kept spewing from her mouth. "At least ya could hit me. I'd know how ta deal with the pain then."

His arm lashed out and for a split second Tamara thought he'd hit her but then he pointed toward the camp to the north of them. "Git."

"I ain't a dog." She snarled at him.

Daryl barked out a humourless laugh, "Nah, a dog 'd know when ta leave before they got beat."

"Screw you!" Tamara shouted at him. "You don't know anything." She pointed to the camp, "Carol's over there hurtin' and all you're doin' is sitting up here feeling sorry for yourself coz ya couldn't find a little girl in the woods, oh mighty hunter." She spat. "You're blaming yourself for something that was outta your control just like ya did with our baby!" she was screaming by the end and she knew she had pushed him too far when his eyes flashed ice blue and he lunged at her, grabbing her arm in a bruising grip and pushing her back toward the camp. Tears filled her eyes at the rejection and the fact that Daryl had never pushed her around before and she threw over her shoulder as she walked down the hill, "Don't bother coming back to the tent tonight, Lacy and I are gonna stay with Carol."

Daryl ground his teeth together and snatched up his crossbow, striding to the treeline over the hill, trying to fight the need to go back, grab Tamara and shake her.

Tamara broke into a run as she neared camp. Lori saw her and stood up where she had been watching Carl listlessly throw stones into the fire pit of their camp. The willowy brunette caught the smaller woman as she was about to rush past. "Hey, hey. What happened?"

Tamara burst into heaving sobs and let Lori pull her into a tight hug. When she was calm enough to talk, she told Lori everything in a hushed whisper; from the fact that she was pregnant and scared out of her mind that she was going to lose the baby, to her grief over Sophia, and finally to the fight she had just had with Daryl. The only thing she left out was that Daryl's daddy had beaten his wife and sons. "I said such horrible things to him, Lori." She sniffled. "He thinks I blame him for not being able to save Sophia and for me losing our baby all those years ago."

Lori looked at her sadly. "You're pregnant, Tamara. If anyone else knows how much you need your family right now it's me." She rubbed soothing circles into Tamara's back, "Let him calm down a little and then go and talk to him."

Taking a few steadying breaths, Tamara nodded and thanked the taller woman before going to find Beth to see if she would like to have Lacy come and sit with her. She knew the little girl was a balm for the young blonde woman.

But when she got up to the house it was to find Glenn and Maggie carrying Beth into the downstairs bedroom, "What happened?" she gasped.

"She's catatonic." Maggie said frantically as she sat on the bed beside her sister. "And we can't find my Dad."

"I'll get Hershel." Glenn mumbled before leaving the room.

Tamara knelt beside the bed and took Beth's left hand as Maggie took her right. Bowing her head, the brunette realised that she needed to take a breath and pray. Pray that Beth would wake up, pray that Carol would be alright, pray that Lacy and Carl would survive and so would Lori's baby and her own, and finally she needed to pray that Daryl wouldn't blame himself for Sophia's death or because of her mistakes.

She stayed with Beth that whole day and night and then into the morning again. Dale offered to look after Lacy and she agreed not wanting the little girl to see her friend so hurt after all she had been through in the past day. Finally, Maggie convinced her to leave the girl's side and accompany her onto the porch of the big house for some fresh air.

While they were sitting Maggie sighed and ran a hand through her hair before she looked over at Tamara.

Knowing the younger woman wouldn't readily say what was on her mind, Tamara sat in one of the old rocking chairs and clasped her arms around her knees which she pulled up to her chin, "Ask." She murmured keeping her gaze on the yard.

Maggie looked a little surprised but plunged ahead anyway, "You and Daryl had a fight."

It wasn't a question but Tamara decided to answer it anyway, "We both said and did some stupid things and no matter how many times I tell myself it was my fault for pushing him, I feel just as angry at him as I was when we first fought."

With another soft sigh, Maggie tucked one leg under her and folded her arms across her chest, "If he said and did stuff too then isn't it his fault as much as yours?"

A smile crept over Tamara's lips and she realised how innocent this woman was about love, "Doesn't matter. I still love him. That means I don't get to blame him for things for too long. If I did we wouldn't be together anymore. Even if just seeing him right now makes me mad as hell." She glanced slyly at Maggie and the two of them burst into smothered laughter at the absurdity of giving their significant other the cold shoulder when the world had just ended.

Once both had calmed down enough to speak, Tamara shook her head and let her feet drop down to the wooden porch below her, she saw Shane, Daryl, Andrea and T-Dog congregating around one of the trucks near the campsite and nodded to them, "They going out ta look for Rick, Glenn and your daddy?" she asked her eyes on Daryl's leather-clad back.

Maggie nodded, "They're goin' ta go see if they can find them. Beth needs Daddy and after Lori went out by herself yesterday, they wanna find them before she does anythin' stupid again."

Tamara dropped her hand over the small swell of her stomach, carefully hidden under her loose t-shirt. Her eyes never left Daryl as he moved around talking to the others, "They're gonna be fine when they catch up ta them, just got waylaid is all." She said trying to convince Maggie as much as herself.

Maggie didn't have time to answer because just then a plume of dust came up the driveway, a large red station wagon speeding before it. It pulled up to the front of the house and Lori and Carl came out from the house to meet it. Out of the vehicle piled Rick, Hershel and Glenn looking no worse for wear.

Tamara stayed on the porch as Rick and his family were reunited, Maggie went to Glenn and Hershel reunited with his family.

She saw the look Shane had when he saw Rick, Lori and Carl hug and a shiver of disgust went down her spine, he looked disappointed that Rick was back safely. The feel of eyes on her face pulled her gaze from the returning men and their families to Daryl where he stood toward the back of the group, crossbow slung over his shoulder and Merle's leather vest on over a long sleeved shirt. The sound of Lacy asking to be put down had Tamara's gaze slip to the side where Carol was putting the little girl on her feet.

The little red head ran to Daryl, curly pigtails bouncing, and threw her arms around his knees.

That sight brought tears to Tamara's eyes and then Daryl bent down and picked Lacy up and Tamara couldn't handle it, she turned on her heel and pushed her way through the front door of the big house, ran through the house and into the bathroom, locking herself inside as she tried to stifle her sobs.


	5. Chapter 5

Tamara pulled away from Daryl. She stayed at the big house, Lacy with her. She couldn't bring herself to go and talk to him and she couldn't bring herself to tell him about their baby. It wasn't because she was still mad at him or because she blamed him for anything. It was because she was five months pregnant and she hadn't felt their baby move yet.

Carol came to her day after day and begged her to tell him, told her that he was hurting because she was shutting him out. But Tamara couldn't look him in the eye and tell him that she was pregnant in one breath and then have to tell him that the baby hadn't moved yet in the next.

Soon Lacy was staying with Carol and Daryl was back camping out on the next over, barely looking at the others or speaking to them.

A few days after Rick, Glenn and Hershel had come back to the farm with Randall the kid they had saved, Rick and Shane left to take him as far away from the farm as possible and leave him there. Tamara decided to go and talk to Beth who had woke from her catatonic state but had now fallen into a deep depression.

She knocked on the young girl's bedroom door and walked into her room.

Beth sat up in the bed, her creamy skin turned pallid and her eyes dimmed by grief. The girl's dinner was sitting on the bedside table getting cold. So Tamara smiled softly, "How about you eat all your dinner and we go outside and walk around, might even spend some time with Lacy. She's been wantin' to see you." She told the younger woman.

Beth stared lifelessly at the comforter, "You're pregnant."

It wasn't a question and Tamara wondered how she had found out, "Yes, darlin', I am."

"How could ya do that?" she asked through her teeth.

Tamara sat down in the chair near the bed, "I didn't plan it. I was pregnant before this happened." Seeing that the girl didn't respond the brunette sat back in the chair and placed a small hand over her belly, "I'm scared." She admitted.

"I'm scared this baby will be born into this world…and that he might never take a breath in this world."

Beth looked at her, "You don't know what ya want." She said shortly. "You don't have a choice about what happens you know."

Tamara tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and leaned forward to look at the young woman in front of her, "I don't have a choice, sweetheart, but you do." Getting up from the chair she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and left her to eat in peace.

The next thing she knew Maggie was bringing Beth in to Hershel to have her wrist stitched after Andrea purposely left her alone and she broke a mirror and sliced her wrist to try and kill herself.

The smell of the blood turned Tamara's stomach but she made sure to keep a hold of Beth's wrist as Hershel quickly and efficiently put eight stitches into the blonde's skin.

"I know sweetheart. It's almost over." Tamara soothed softly when Beth whimpered a little.

Hershel put the final stitch in and then washed his hands as Patricia wrapped the wound in a bandage.

The older man looked pale and anxious and Tamara knew he was worried about his little girl. She left Beth's side for a moment and spoke quietly with the veterinarian, "Let me talk with her, Hershel. She needs someone who understands."

Hershel's kind blue eyes were suddenly sharp, "When Maggie left her with Andrea she was talking with someone who had been there." He said his voice low so Beth wouldn't hear.

Tamara put a gentle hand on his arm, "Andrea thought she was doing what was right by leaving Beth with the choice. She was wrong to do it. Beth needs someone there to talk with her about what she wants and doesn't want. She was so far gone in her depression she didn't know until she felt the pain what dying is really like and that's what scared her into stopping."

Hershel regarded her for a moment, "You've been through this same thing before haven't you?" he asked gently.

Tamara twisted the thin gold band on her wedding finger, "I lost a baby a few years ago. I tried to kill myself almost the same way."

"Then I trust you to talk to her." Hershel said. Kind and wise blue eyes looked right into her guarded green ones, "You were helped out of it by someone that loves you, weren't you?"

With a heavy swallow Tamara nodded, "Daryl made sure I kept breathing until I could live again." The truth was hard to speak aloud but she made herself say it. "Didn't let himself grieve until I was getting better."

Hershel nodded and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "That's a man that'll love a woman until he took his last breath."

Those simple but heavy words made Tamara's heart jump into her throat and her eyes sting with tears. She nodded and then excused herself to allow the family time alone. She stepped out onto the porch and looked around the house and campsite for the familiar figure she would know anywhere. She saw him walking around the side of the house toward the shed where they had put Randall. Making up her mind she glanced once more at the campsite to see Lacy in Lori's arms, and she looked to be crying and pointing at Daryl's retreating back.

Looking between the little girl's pointed finger and where Daryl had just disappeared around the corner of the house, Tamara made up her mind and jogged down the stairs and around the side of the house to catch up with Daryl.

"What happened to Lacy?" she asked when she was close enough to him for him to hear her question.

Daryl froze mid step, his body ridged, he turned to face her, his eyes dark with anger and his voice low and rough; "I ain't her daddy just like ya ain't her momma, 'Mara." He sneered. "And there ain't no way ya can make her our kid. 'Specially without diggin' up the past."

Sudden tears blurring Tamara's vision she pulled back her hand and slapped him as hard as she could. The echo of skin striking skin seemed to resound in the air between them and the sight of Daryl's face turned to the side made her wish she could take it back. But she couldn't.

"Ya can hit me all ya like 'Mara, won't bring him back." Daryl said viciously before he turned on his heel and left her alone.

Panting Tamara turned and ran around the corner of the house only to smack straight into Shane's chest, "Watch it!" he snarled shoving past her, "Bitch."

The word wasn't murmured or masked in any way and Tamara glared up at him through her tears, "Don't you call me that." She snapped at him.

Shane laughed cruelly, "What ya gonna do 'bout it, princess? That man a yours ain't gonna stop me from doin' anythin' to ya coz he's just as mad at you as I am." He leaned in and got into her face, "Ya push me and you'll have ta look over your shoulder. You're not the only one with a knife, little girl."

Tamara stepped back, fear clawing at her throat at the intense lust mingled with full-blown hate and crazed rage in his eyes before he straightened and turned on his heel to continue toward the shed Daryl had disappeared into a few minutes before.

Tamara couldn't take it anymore. If no one else was going to say anything then she would. Shane was just like a lot of men she had known in her life, they were hiding something broken inside them and if those around them weren't careful, one day they would snap and hurt or kill those around them. Maybe before the world had ended he was fine, but something had changed and he was losing more and more of his humanity every day. She told this to Rick. Getting him away from the group was hard but she finally cornered him in the big house stables and told him her thoughts. But Rick left the stable an angry look on his face and Tamara sighed, letting him go.

Moving to leave the stables Tamara gasped when a strong, large hand shot out and closed around her upper arm. She was turned around roughly and pulled back against a wide chest, a rough hand closed over her mouth and she was dragged into a stall at the back of the stables. Only when she and her captor were inside the stall was she turned around forcefully and shoved back against one of the wooden walls. Her eyes widened when she saw Shane's face.

His eyes were dark with lust and rage and his lips were twisted in a cruel sneer. "Ya little bitch." He growled coldly.

Tamara's skin crawled as she felt him press his body hard against hers.

"I knew I'd have to watch ya and then I hear ya tellin' Rick that he shouldn't trust me." Tamara winced as his hand tightened brutally around her mouth and jaw. "Ya know what? That redneck trash of a man ya got followin' ya like a lost puppy dog gets ta have ya every night, then I want a taste too."

Tamara panicked, bucking her body and twisting in his hold to throw off his hand and scream and hopefully someone would hear.

"Uh-uh." Shane snarled lowly, ducking his head and pressing his lips against her ear. "Ya ain't gettin' away that easy."

Tears sprung to her eyes as his hand tightened over her mouth, and she wondered if he'd break her jaw. Instead he dragged her over to the middle of the stall, forced her to her knees and knelt behind her. His hand left her mouth and she drew a deep breath to scream only to have a dirty rag forced between her teeth and tightened cruelly with a knot at the back of her head.

Shane's hand twisted into her long dark curls and he pulled her head back, his hot breath fanning across her neck. "Ya fight me and that little girl a yours goes for a long walk in the woods and gets bit by a walker." He tightened his hold in her hair and pulled her head back at a painful angle, "Ya hear?"

Sobbing Tamara nodded her whole body shaking as her knees scrabbled on the hay covered floor for purchase to try and throw him off.

Shane flipped her onto her back, grinned down at her and undid his belt and zipper.

Tamara froze at the sound of his belt buckle jangling. Memories she had thought long since forgotten flooded her mind and then it wasn't just Shane above her, touching her, hurting her, it was her step-daddy. It was his scent that made her stomach heave, his rough, large hands tearing at her jeans and forcing them down her legs, his sweat slick body pressing her down into the floor and driving the air from her lungs.

She must have blocked some of it because the next thing she knew, Shane was getting up off her and fastening his jeans and the gag was gone from her mouth.

"Not even worth it." He spat before turning on his heel and leaving the barn.

Tamara pulled her jeans back up her legs, straightened her clothes and then forced herself to get up off the floor and walk toward the stables' entrance. She was half way there when the pain hit. It ripped the breath from her lungs and made her knees buckle. She fell to her hands and knees and bit back a scream as white hot pain tore through her lower abdomen. "No." She moaned and dragged herself to her feet stumbling toward the large open doorway of the stables. With one final forced step she emerged out into the bright Georgia sunlight.

"Momma?"

Tamara turned at that small sob and saw Lacy step out from the stables her dirty face streaked with tears. Tamara reached out to her just as a rush of sticky wet spread down her legs.

Lacy's eyes widened in terror and she started screaming.

Looking down Tamara saw the dark blood spreading across the front of her jeans.

* * *

Daryl walked back up to the campsite after his brutal interrogation of Randall to see most of the group waiting for him. "Boy there's got a gang." He reported back as soon as he stopped in front of them. "Thirty men and heavy artillery. And they ain't lookin' ta make friends." He shifted a little and looked only at Rick, "They roll through here, our boys are dead. And our woman, they're gonna wish they were." A flash of Tamara's pale face the day before when Lacy had run to him filled his mind but he pushed it away. If she didn't want to talk to him or see him then that was her problem. Like he'd told Lori, he was done looking for people.

"What did you do?" Carol asked softly her eyes on his split knuckles and the blood stains of the hand he had around his crossbow strap.

Daryl could hardly look her in the eye but his voice was even when he answered her, "We had a little chat." He moved to walk past her and the others to go to his tent when a scream came from the stables near the house.

He turned to see Lacy screaming horrifically as she stared at Tamara. And then his stomach dropped as Tamara crumpled to the ground.

* * *

Tamara's legs gave way and a wave of dizziness made her stumble back. She hit the ground hard but that was nothing compared to the agony tearing away at her belly. She turned her head and screamed into the grass beneath her, curling in on herself. The dim sound of running feet reached her ears but all she could do was cry out and dig her fingers into the ground under her. "Daryl!" she screamed in pain and fear.

And then he was there kneeling beside her, swearing when he saw the blood, "I'm here, 'Mara." He growled his hands hovering over her not knowing what to do.

Tamara burst into tears and grabbed hold of his forearm, her back arching as she tried to bite back a scream of pain. Writhing she bit out, "The baby."

Daryl's intense gaze snapped to her face, "What baby?"

The others got to them then and he heard Lori gasp as Maggie muttered a soft curse under her breath and Carol fell to her knees beside Tamara brushing her hair back from her forehead her hand going to the brunette's stomach.

"She's losing the baby." Carol whimpered tearfully.

"No." Tamara shook her head. "No, please." She sobbed.

Daryl moved quickly then. He slid his arms under Tamara's knees and back and lifted her from the ground, "Hershel!" He bellowed jogging up to the big house while the rest of the group followed, Lori picking a still wailing Lacy up and following the rest of the group.

Hershel, Patricia and Maggie moved quickly. They led Daryl into the bedroom where Carl had been when he was shot and pulled back the sheets of the bed. Daryl put Tamara down on the bed and tried to move away to give Hershel room to work but Tamara's hands were fisted into his shirt and her face pressed to his chest as she sobbed through the pain.

"Everyone out!" Hershel ordered and then had Patricia close the bedroom door shutting out everyone except Daryl and Carol.

Another wave of pain ripped through Tamara's body and she screamed, her body going rigid and eyes squeezed shut.

Patricia pulled her down onto the bed and then Carol helped Hershel strip her from the waist down. Daryl turned his back on the crimson blood streaking Tamara's legs and threw off his crossbow before sitting down on the bed beside her.

"The baby's comin' now, Tamara. I'm gonna need you to push." Hershel said gently.

"No!" Tamara screamed fighting Patricia's hold on her wrists to try and sit up.

And then Daryl was leaning down over her, his forehead pressing to hers, "Help her stop hurtin', doc." He ordered holding her down.

Tamara screamed and her body jerked in pain as she lost her baby. She gripped Daryl's hands tight and wept. She struggled then feeling more blood splash onto her legs but Daryl wouldn't let her go, wouldn't let her see the baby Shane had killed inside her. She fought him but it was like he wasn't there anymore. His face was hard and his eyes ice blue and colder than she had ever seen them.

Pain built inside her and her eyes widened, tears leaking down her face.

"She's haemorrhaging!" Patricia said sounding panicked.

Tamara screamed in agony, her body bowed off the bed and her skin became slick with sweat. "No, please." She begged god, Daryl, anyone that would listen. "Please. Please!" and then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed into unconsciousness.

* * *

As soon as Tamara was out cold, Daryl had let go of her wrists and turned from the room, snatching up his crossbow and leaving; his hands now stained by Tamara's blood as well as Randall's. When Hershel had the bleeding under control, Carol helped Patricia dress Tamara in her own nightgown and they changed the bed. The small brunette was still unconscious and pale as death but after a few hours Hershel was confident she would live.

Carol stayed at Tamara's side waiting for her to wake up while Dale went up to the ridge where Daryl now had his camp.

Daryl was clipping his new arrows onto his crossbow quiver. He had washed the blood from his hands but his whole body was tense and his face was dark with rage. He made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat when he saw Dale and then turned back to his work, "The whole point a me comin' up here is ta get away from you people." He growled.

"Why'd you leave Tamara there alone?" Dale asked carefully.

Daryl turned on him then, "She was pregnant. My baby 'nd she don't tell me? Why the hell I wanna stay 'round for that?" he yelled throwing down his arrows.

Dale nodded, "How do you know it was yours?"

Daryl glared at him, his chest heaving and anger and pain rolling off him in waves, "She'd never…" he turned away swiping a hand roughly across his face and eyes, "Don't matter now. Our babies are dead." He unsheathed his buck knife and strode across the field and into the treeline.

* * *

"She's burning up, Hershel." Carol said worriedly. "Isn't there something we can do?"

The older man shook his head sadly, "She either fights the fever and it breaks or it takes her away in her sleep." He ran a hand raggedly through his hair, "With something like this I sometimes think it's kinder for the mother to go instead of the child."

Carol looked down at Tamara's limp, pale hand in her own. "She's a fighter." She murmured.

Hershel laid a hand on her shoulder, "God takes those he wants back to his embrace and there's sometimes nothing we can do about it."

With a determined shake of her head Carol tucked a lock of Tamara's hair behind her ear, "She's a fighter and God can't have her back just yet. She's got a job to do. She and Daryl need more time."

Hershel knew when to step back and so he gave the short haired woman's shoulder a comforting squeeze before he left the room.

Carol leaned over Tamara and whispered softly in her ear, "Come back sweetheart. You wouldn't let me slip away so I won't let you. Daryl needs you here, Tamara. He needs you to be alright."

Tamara woke an hour and a half later but she was so far into the fever that she was delirious.

"Momma?" she whispered looking at Carol.

"It's me, sweetheart. It's Carol." The older woman tried but Tamara wasn't listening.

"He hurt me Momma. He killed my baby. He took him away." Tamara said her voice soft and hoarse.

"Who took your baby away, darlin'?" Carol asked gently.

Tamara curled into herself more, "My step-daddy did. Ya left and he came every night. He did things ta me, Momma. Things a daddy should never do to his daughter." Silent tears slid down her wan cheeks, "And then Daryl stopped him but he did it again today and my baby died inside me." She pressed her fists to her face like a child but Carol knew her step-daddy couldn't have been the one to hurt her.

"Why would he hurt you again if Daryl stopped him before?" she asked softly running her fingers soothingly through Tamara's silken hair.

Tamara closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "He said he'd hurt Lacy if I didn't stay quiet. He said I'd been bad and that coz you were gone he could. He said Daryl got me every night so he wanted a taste." Her voice broke and she started to sob brokenly. "It hurts so bad, Momma." She whimpered. "Make it stop, Momma, please." She suddenly looked around the room with clear frightened eyes, "Where's Daryl?" when Carol tried to reach out to her she shook her head and pushed the older woman's hands away, "Please, I need Daryl."

Carol sat back in her chair, tears in her eyes as she lied to the frightened woman who lay in pain before her, "He's just getting some air. He'll be here soon. Just rest for now and he'll be here when you wake up."

Tamara studied her for a moment her eyes clouded with the fever again before she nodded and settled down to sleep.

Carol stepped out of the bedroom a few minutes later.

Glenn and Maggie stood from where they had been sitting together against the wall opposite the bedroom door waiting for any news on how Tamara was doing.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Maggie asked, Glenn's hand tight around hers.

Carol wrapped her arms around her middle and looked at the two of them, "She needs Daryl."

Glenn took a breath and turned away walking toward the front door.

"Where are ya goin'?" Maggie called after him.

Glenn slammed his way out of the front door tossing over his shoulder, "To get Daryl's ass back here."

He found him walking toward his camp from the woods, his buck knife held loosely in one hand dripping blood.

"What ya want?" Daryl asked harshly walking right past him sitting with his back to the old fireplace and slamming his knife point down into the dirt at his feet.

"Tamara needs you down there with her not up here…killing things." Glenn blurted out.

Daryl barely spared him a glance, "So?"

The young Asian man felt anger well up in his chest, "So? So go down there and be with her. It was your baby too, right?"

Daryl surged to his feet and swung out at Glenn. It was only the smaller man's quick reflexes that saved him from having his teeth knocked in. "Ain't my kid. It's dead. Ain't nobody's kid no more." Daryl snarled glaring at Glenn who kept his distance warily.

Hearing those words Glenn jumped forward and pushed Daryl in the chest, "It was your kid. And she's your wife. Tamara nearly died and all you can say is 'it's dead, so what?' You're an idiot. You know that? If Maggie was the one down there I'd be there in a heartbeat. Not even walkers would keep me away." Glenn shook his head, "You know what? Fine. Stay up here alone. Who cares that Tamara just went through hell and almost died? Who cares that you both lost a baby? Stay up here and be alone. I'll send Dale up if Tamara dies of the fever tonight." He knew it was a low blow but he turned away and started to walk back to the house.

"She sick?"

Glenn turned at Daryl's words. The hunter was sitting staring off into the woods. He looked so lost that Glenn took pity on him, "She's got a fever. Hershel's not sure if she's gonna make it." he explained quietly.

Daryl's head jerked in a quick nod before he seemed to make up his mind and tugged his buck knife from the dirt at his feet, sheathing it as he stood.

Glenn and Daryl walked into the house to see the group save Carol, Hershel and Shane sitting in the living room. They looked up as the two men entered.

Daryl didn't even look at them. He left Glenn to sit with Maggie and walked toward the back of the house. He stepped into the bedroom a few moments after Hershel left it to see Carol gently wiping a cloth over Tamara's forehead. She looked so small lying in that bed, paler than when he had left her, shivering and flinching locked in a nightmare.

Carol looked up at him with tired, worried eyes.

Wordlessly he rounded the bed, toed off his boots and pulled the buck knife in its sheath from his belt, putting it down onto the bedside table. He then slipped off the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing and dropped it to the floor, crawling into the bed beside Tamara in only his jeans, socks and white wife-beater.

* * *

Tamara woke to the feel of a strong arm around her waist and a soft mattress under her aching body. Pink and purple light filtered into the room from the windows across from the bed so she knew it was about dawn. Unable to see much she turned and snuggled up to Daryl instantly knowing it was him even in the dark. A heavy ache in her belly made her tense. Daryl moved slightly and woke.

"Hey, stay still." He murmured his voice thick with sleep.

Tears pricked Tamara's eyes and she whimpered. "Our baby died." She gasped out remembering the pain and the blood but not much before or after that. Flashes of rough hands and pain inside her made her flinch and Daryl moved quickly to reach over her and switch on the bedside lamp illuminating the two of them with its orange glow.

"I said stay still." He growled out brushing her hair from her face, his eyes slipping over her face and body making sure she was okay.

A few tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes and Tamara reached up to lay and hand to his cheek, "I'm sorry, Daryl. I didn't mean-."

He cut her off with a jerky shake of his head, "Ain't your fault. Doc says the baby woulda never survived. He said it was more'n likely brain dead."

Tamara nodded and turned her face away not wanting him to see her tears.

Daryl leaned over her to turn out the light and helped her roll onto her side again, his arm wrapping back around her waist as he lay down. Tamara cried herself to sleep and Daryl buried his face in her hair, his own tears wetting the dark strands.

* * *

A few days later Tamara forced herself to get out of bed. Her legs felt weak and there was pain still but she ignored it and let Carol help her to the shower. The older woman stayed outside the unlocked door of the bathroom while Tamara washed her hair and body and dressed. When she was ready she stepped out and let Carol help her to the front lounge of the house where the meeting to decide what would happen to Randall was being held.

Tamara sat down on the dusky pink love seat facing the fireplace. She picked up a pillow and held it to her body her mind going back over the nearly faded bruises she had found when she had showered. They were the shape of thick fingers around her hips and bruises on the insides of her thighs. Her stomach roiled at the thought that she had been raped again and with her memory of that day so hazy, she really didn't know what had happened.

The group started to file into the house, Andrea, Shane and T-Dog standing at the fireplace with Patricia sitting in the arm chair to the right of it, Maggie and Hershel at the sofa against the window that looked out the front of the house. Carol settled herself against the door that led to the front door foyer just behind Tamara's right shoulder, Lori beside her. Rick stood behind Tamara with Daryl leaning against the bureau behind him. Glenn took a seat on the piano stool to Tamara's left and Dale stood in the doorway beside the piano.

They waited until Carl had walked to the back of the house where Beth, Lacy, and Jimmy were staying out of the way. All four had been deemed too young to hear what the discussion would be about let alone have a say.

Everyone was tense and waiting. Glenn was the first to speak up, "So, how do we do this? Just take a vote?"

"Does it have to be unanimous?" Andrea asked.

"How about majority rules?" Lori asked Rick softly.

"Look, let's just see where everybody stands then we can talk through the options." Rick said moving forward to stand directly behind the couch where Tamara sat her eyes on the ground at her feet and the throw pillow held tight to her stomach.

"Well, the way I see it there's only one way ta move forward." Shane said easily.

Tamara looked up at him. His gaze caught hers before flicking away to look at the others in the room. But that brief moment of their eyes connecting sent an unreasonable shiver of revulsion through her. She looked back down at the faded rug under her feet trying to come up with an explanation of why she would be feeling so disgusted at having caught Shane's eye when she should only feel slightly annoyed, exasperated or angry at him. A flash of the memory of Shane's dark eyes looking down at her with lust and anger and she flinched away from it brought back to the conversation by Dale's angry voice.

"So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime he may never even attempt?!" Dale looked around the room, "If we do this, we're saying there's no hope. Rule of law's dead. There is no civilisation."

"Oh my god." Shane scoffed leaning an elbow on the mantle place behind him and rubbing his palm over his shaved scalp.

"Couldn't you take him further out? Leave him like you planned?" Hershel asked Rick.

Tamara curled down over the pillow letting her still damp hair fall around her face in a protective curtain as she blocked out the conversation and tried to remember anything about the day she had lost her and Daryl's baby after she had discussed talking to Beth about suicide with Hershel. All she remembered was pain so much pain and blood, her own and her baby's.

"Hold on!" Dale's raised voice jolted her from her thoughts and back to the conversation, "You all are talking about this like it's already been decided."

"We bin talkin' all day, just goin' round in circles." Daryl said pacing, "Ya just wanna go around in circles again?"

"This is a young man's life!" Dale spoke to him, "And it is worth more than a five minute conversation." He looked around the group, "Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with them?" he pointed at Rick, "You saved him. And now look at us. He's been tortured, he's gonna be executed." Tamara flinched and rubbed her hand over her arm trying to warm herself as Dale's words hit home, "How are we any better than those people we are so afraid of?"

Shane broke the silence that followed Dale's words, "We all know what needs to be done."

"No, Dale's right." Rick stopped him from saying more. "This is a man's life. We need to leave no stone unturned. We have a responsibility-."

"So what's the other solution?" Andrea asked cutting him off.

"Let Rick finish." Lori admonished her.

"We haven't come up with a single viable option yet." Andrea continued as if she hadn't spoken. "I wish we could-."

It was Dale's turn to cut her off, "So let's work on it."

"Stop it." Carol spoke up seeing how distressed Tamara was becoming at all the raised voices, "Stop. I'm sick of everybody arguing and fighting. I didn't ask for this. You can't ask us to decide something like this." She looked between Rick and Shane. "Please decide, either of you, both of you, but leave me out."

"Not speaking out, or killing him yourself, there's no difference." Dale told her.

"That's enough." Rick told him before taking a breath, "Anyone who wants the floor before we make our final decision, now's your chance."

There was silence around the room and Tamara felt a chill go through her as she realised a man would more than likely be killed that night if no one said anything.

Dale decided to take one last stab at keeping Randall alive. He pointed to Rick, "You once said that we don't kill the living."

"Well that was before the living tried to kill us." Rick told him.

"You see, if we do this the people that we were, the world that we knew is dead. And this new world, it's ugly. It's harsh. It's survival of the fittest. And that's a world I don't wanna live in." Dale said desperately fighting for the life of a man he didn't even know. "I don't believe that any of you do. I can't." he looked at the others in the room. "Please, let's just do what's right." He begged close to tears. There was silence around the room. "Isn't there anybody else that's gonna stand with me?"

In the deafening silence that came after his question Tamara made up her mind. Putting the pillow down on the couch beside her she pushed slowly to her feet and pointed in the direction of the shed, "That kid out there has as much right to live as we do. He was survivin' just like we are." Seeing the anger on some of the group's faces she wrapped her arms around her stomach, "He chose the wrong people to try and survive with but he deserves to live just as much as we do." Turning to Rick she looked up at him with tired green eyes, "If your reasoning is to kill him because the living fought back then you'd best string me up too because I've killed three men since this world went to hell." She looked around the room feeling tears prick her eyes, "What's the point of having this meeting, you've all made up your minds anyway." She moved to leave the room cold anger flooding her veins, "Excuse me while I go and pray for a world where at least the sanctity of human life is kept alive." As she walked past Daryl he tried to catch her gaze but she kept her eyes on the floor beneath her feet as she walked out of the house through the kitchen door.

She stayed outside for the rest of the afternoon. When the sun had gone down she saw Daryl, Shane and Rick lead Randall to the barn.

"Tamara?"

Turning to look at Carol she then turned back to look at the barn again, "Ya think it hurts ta die when you've already buried your heart with those you love?" she asked letting the grass she had been ripping to shreds float from her fingertips to the cold ground below her feet.

"How about we go inside, sweetheart?" Carol asked wrapping a large jacket around Tamara's shoulders. She had lost so much weight over the last four days that she looked barely able to stand let alone survive the world.

The small brunette looked up at the moon above them her face emotionless before she turned and let Carol lead her back to the house. But, as soon as Carol left her for the night to go back to the campsite, Tamara slipped out into the night again.

She made it as far as the field behind the barn before Dale caught up to her.

"Tamara, what are you doing out here alone?" he asked worried about her.

She turned to him and blurted out the truth, "I'm tryin' ta remember what happened that day. How-how my baby died." She gasped out.

"Oh my dear." Dale said sadly pulling her into a hug, "We don't always know why something happens." He told her gently. "But the most important thing now is that you get better."

Tamara nodded and they turned back toward the house only to hear what sounded like a loud low groan. Dale turned back to the field and tried to see in the dark what it was. He took a step toward the sound only to have Tamara shake her head and hold on to his hand.

"You go on back to the house and I'll see what that is and then come and join you." He said patting her hand in comfort.

Tamara looked up into his kind brown eyes and shook her head again.

"Okay." He smiled, "I'll go and have a quick look and then we can go back to the house together."

Tamara reluctantly let him go and wrapped her arms around her stomach, watching him move off into the darkness thankful only that the moon was bright enough to reflect off his white hat so that she could see him moving through the tall grass closer and closer to the edge of the woods.

And then suddenly Dale yelled. Tamara screamed and ran toward where she had last seen him but her foot caught on a mound of grass and she fell. There was more yelling and running feet. Tamara pulled herself to her feet and made it to Dale in time to see Daryl tackle a walker off of him and jam his buck knife into its head killing it.

She collapsed by Dale's side and froze when she saw his ripped open belly. She didn't realise she was sobbing uncontrollably until Daryl caught her hands from where they had been hovering over Dale's wound and he pulled her back from the sight, wrapping his arms around her as she sat between his legs, her face turned to his chest and her hands twisted into his shirt.

His moans of pain made Tamara sob all the harder and then Daryl gently handed her to Carol and took Rick's gun.

Kneeling beside Dale he pulled back the hammer and held the gun at Dale's head, "Sorry brother." He said before he pulled the trigger.

When it was over he took Tamara into his arms again and led the way back to the house as T-Dog, Rick and Shane took care of Dale's body.

* * *

After Dale's funeral the next day, Tamara walked away from the growing grave site and out to the hill where Daryl's camp still stood. She didn't realise he had followed her until he caught her arm as she passed his tent and turned her back to face him and the house.

"Where ya think you're goin'?" he asked annoyed that she had walked off alone and near the woods where walkers were still coming from no less.

Dragging her arm from his grip, Tamara pushed him in the chest. "I hate you." She snarled. "I hate you!"

Daryl's jaw tightened and he looked away for a few breaths before turning those intense eyes onto her again. He didn't try to touch her but the look he gave her felt like a slow caress even if the heat in his gaze was both need and anger. "What d'yah want?" he asked softly, his voice gentle and calm.

Tamara started pacing tugging at her hair before she spun around and looked up at him with teary green eyes. "I wanna die. I wanna feel nothin' just lay down and die in the dirt like everyone else has."

With her admission came anger, bright and hot in Daryl's chest. "They're dead and there ain't nothin' anyone can do 'bout it, 'Mara. We just gotta keep goin'." He said biting back his anger as much as he could.

Tamara shook her head, "They're dead so why can't I be too." Her tone started as cold but it became desperate as she started to pace again.

Daryl realised then that she was so mixed up with grief that he needed to force her to see past it, to try and get her to see what else there was beside pain and mourning. "They're dead. Yer Momma and Elijah died years ago, girl. And yer sister and this baby are gone now. We both know that." He spat trying to shock her, to get a reaction out of her that would make her feel something but grief and cold numbness.

"No." she said her voice empty of any emotion, "Elijah's still alive in here." She tapped her temple. "I was the one that died years ago. Couldn't ya tell?" She waited for him to explode, hit her, do something to hurt her but he didn't.

Daryl closed the space between them carefully, stopping in front of her and gently pulling her against him. "He died a while ago, 'Mara." He murmured into her hair keeping his hold around her tight as she bucked and fought to get away. "He's in heaven with yer Momma, with this baby, with Tanya and Devon and Addie."

"No!" Tamara screamed throwing herself out of his arms. The sound of skin hitting skin echoed around them, and Tamara froze staring at the red handprint colouring Daryl's turned cheek. A sick guilt filled her at the thought that after she had learnt about Daryl's past she had vowed that she would never hit him or hurt him like that, ever. She had just broken that vow for a second time.

Daryl slowly took a deep breath trying to calm the sudden anger coursing through his veins. He turned to face Tamara again, "Ya can hit me all ya want, woman. Ain't gonna change the fact that I'm standin' here waitin' for ya ta breath again and ta come ta me wantin' more'n just ta hit me."

Tamara's heart dropped. Daryl wasn't one to talk so freely about what he was feeling. He was fine when they were alone and he was talking about loving her or kissing and touching her, but when it came to the heavy emotion of their love and marriage he was loath to open up. And now here he was, standing before her with a crossbow strapped to his back, the world gone to hell around them, the dead walking around and trying to eat any living person they saw, and she had just lost their baby, hit him and they were mourning the loss of one of their new family; and Daryl was pouring out his heart, telling her that he would wait until she came to him freely for more than just an emotional and physical punching bag. But it was the open, honest, little boy mixed with grown man look that he was giving her that did it. She didn't know who moved first, all she knew was that she was in his arms, her lips caught by his in a fiery kiss as he swung her up into his arms and carried her the short distance to his tent.

Once inside he put her down on the mattress he had inside and slipped off his crossbow to lay down on the ground beside them. He then leant down and kissed her again clearly not wanting to rush the reunion that had taken them over a week and a half to get to. Clothes were shed slowly and Daryl took his time gently loving the woman he didn't know how he'd live without.

After, they lay together, the sheet he had been sleeping under draped over their bodies, their legs still entwined and Tamara's head on his chest over his heart.

"I'm sorry." She told him, her fingers drawing patterns into the skin of his abdomen as his ever moving fingers wound their way into her hair and played with the dark strands.

"'Nough, 'Mara. Ain't nothin' ta be sorry for. We both made mistakes and we both gotta live with that. Life's too short." Daryl murmured one hand under his head as he stared up at the tent roof above their heads.

Tamara tilted her head up to look at him before she pushed up onto her elbow and looked down at him, "I love you Daryl Dixon." She murmured softly before reaching out and running her fingers through the short strands of his hair knowing he loved it when she did that.

"Love ya too, 'Mara." Daryl let himself say before he wrapped a strong arm around her waist and pulled her down under him again.

They went back to the campsite later that afternoon, Tamara's hand held securely in his. He didn't even care that the others were trying to hide surprised looks at his unusual show of affection. Seeing them walking into the camp, Lacy left Beth's side and ran to them to be swung up into Daryl's arms, Tamara leaning over to place a kiss on her cheek and the young family spent the rest of the night with their rag-tag family laughing about shared memories of Dale and the others they had lost and trying to heal.

* * *

Two weeks later Hershel had the group move into the house as more and more walkers started coming out of the woods. Even with Shane's group consisting of T-Dog, Andrea, Daryl and himself going out and killing any walkers they found on the property, it was still becoming too dangerous to stay out of doors past sunset.

"It'll be tight, fourteen people in one house." Tamara heard Rick say to Hershel as she helped Carol, T-Dog, Lori and Glenn pack up the camp.

"Don't worry about that." Hershel told him. "With the swamp hardening, the creek dryin' up-."

"With fifty head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringin' the damn dinner bell." Maggie finished for him.

Tamara caught Daryl's eye and scanned the surrounding fields before catching Lacy around the waist and pointing her toward Beth who was standing with her father and sister. The little girl toddled happily to the blonde's side and stood in front of her, arms raised imperiously demanding silently to be picked up.

Tamara smiled and shook her head as she hefted a box of cooking equipment to put into the back of Otis's old pickup so that it could be moved closer to the house.

"She's right." Hershel continued glancing over at Beth as she lifted the small red headed girl. "We should have moved you in a while ago."

"All right." Rick raised his voice so the whole group could hear him, "Let's move the vehicles near each of the doors facing out toward the road. We need a look out in the windmill, another in the barn loft. Give us sight lines to both sides of the property." Rick ordered.

Daryl took Lacy from Beth's arms while Tamara grabbed more of their things to move up to the house. Once she was ready he took two of the three bags from her and they walked up to the house. Once Lacy was safely there and their bags were in the front lounge, Tamara walked back to the campsite with Daryl to get the last bag and load up the pickup before she followed Daryl to Merle's bike and straddled it behind him. He kicked up the stand and she wrapped her arms around his stomach before he drove up to the house and parked the bike near the front door.

"Momma, look." Lacy said running up to Tamara as she swung off the bike. The little girl held out a fluffy little feather Beth must have given her, "A pretty feaver." She lisped.

Tamara smiled and picked her up, sitting her on her hip as she looked closely at the little treasure, "That's so beautiful 'nd soft, sweetheart." She said running her finger over the feather.

Daryl got off the motorbike and went to move past Tamara and Lacy only to have the little girl reach out for him, "Daddy, look, a fuffy feaver." She said holding the feather out to him.

Daryl stopped and stepped up close to Tamara, his arm sliding around her waist as he touched the feather Lacy held out to him with careful fingers, "Real fluffy, darlin'." He said in his soft gravelly voice. "Put it in ya hair." He took it gently from her fingers and deftly slid it under the elastic band holding back her red curls, "Look like a Indian princess." He told the little girl.

With a giggle Lacy squirmed to be let down from Tamara's arms and ran to Beth's side to show her what he had done.

Loving Daryl was one of the greatest things in her life, Tamara decided before she caught his sleeve as he went to go and work on securing the shed where Randall was still chained. Pushing up onto tip-toe she kissed him softly on the lips, smiling at the red climbing his neck when she let him go.

Tamara grabbed a box from the back of the pickup and carried it into the house the smile staying on her lips. She put down the box she was carrying and went out for another one. She then made up a mattress for her, Daryl and Lacy in the corner of the lounge closest to the front door before helping Carol make up her own bed in the opposite corner. Once everything was set up and Lori, Carol and Beth were making dinner, she took a mug of hot coffee out to Daryl who had just finished his meeting with Rick about where they were going to take Randall. She hadn't seen Lacy for a little while but she wasn't too worried about the little girl knowing that she would likely be with Beth, Patricia or Glenn, her three favourite people other than Daryl.

"Where ya taking him?" she asked finding Daryl chopping some firewood around the back of the house out of sight of any of the windows and the shed where Randall was being kept.

Daryl split one last log before he put the axe down and took the mug from Tamara's extended hands and downed half of the steaming liquid. With the weather turning cold a hot drink was welcome. "Out to Senoia. Gonna be a two hour round trip. Probably gonna lose the light before we get back. Want ya ta keep a gun with ya and make sure Lacy stays close." He told her sipping at his coffee.

Tamara's eyebrows pulled together in confusion, "Why? We're safe here, baby." She told him.

Daryl sighed and put his mug down on the large stump he had been chopping wood on a few minutes before, "Don't care." He said pulling her closer by the hips. "Don't trust Shane not ta do somethin' stupid." He murmured before ducking his head to press his lips against hers before he buried his face against her neck and nuzzled her throat.

Tamara lost her train of thought at the taste of coffee on his tongue and the contrast of his stubble and soft lips on her neck. She knew he was getting her back for teasing him with that kiss earlier in the day but right at that moment she didn't care if he was teasing her or promising to love her, all she wanted was to never stop feeling his lips on her.

"Ya hear me, 'Mara?" Daryl asked her, his breath hot against her neck.

Suddenly inspired she turned her head and caught his earlobe between her teeth before pulling away slowly so that her teeth scraped along the skin gently, "Ya better come back in one piece, Dixon. If ya don't I'll hate you forever." She whispered in his ear ignoring the rigidity of his body, the result of her teasing him like she used to months before.

Daryl lifted his face from her neck and looked down at her with eyes so dark with want they almost looked black, "Ya tryin' ta kill me, woman?" he growled out, his voice deep enough to send shivers through Tamara's body.

She grinned up at him and reached up to twist one hand into the longer strands of his hair at the back of his head while her other hand fisted the front of the leather vest he always wore now, "Ain't tryin' ta kill ya, baby. Just makin' sure ya know what you'll miss out on if ya don't come back."

His quick grin was Tamara's only warning that he was up to something before he pulled her hard against her body and captured her lips in a searing kiss that made her toes curl and stole her breath. When he pulled away he pressed his forehead to hers, "Ain't plannin' ta be away for longer than two hours." He told her gruffly.

A small amount of fear unfurled in Tamara's stomach, "We don't get to plan that far ahead any more, Daryl." She whispered holding onto him tightly before she stepped away.

There was no other way to say anything more about it. They both knew that the trip was dangerous in more ways than one. They had already said all they needed about how they felt. The only thing left to do was kiss Daryl once more before taking his mug and leaving him to finish cutting firewood while she went to help the others in the house.

* * *

Shane dragged Randall out of the shed making sure he was quiet. He was only a few steps from the edge of the woods when he heard a small whimper to his right. He turned to see Lacy staring up at him with wide frightened eyes. "You shouldn't' be here Princess." He told her gruffly.

The little girl shook her head and pointed a tiny finger at him, "You hurt Momma and you hurt that man." She pointed fearfully at a bloody and bruised Randall. "I gonna tell Daddy."

A split second decision later the small girl was held to his chest, a rough hand over her mouth muffling her wails as he dragged Randall into the woods. He followed through with his plan and took Randall as far out into the woods as he dared go and then dropped him on the ground. While the younger man snivelled in the dirt Shane put Lacy down on her feet and tried to talk some sense into the scared little girl. She had thankfully stopped screaming but she refused to believe him when he told her he was the good guy.

"I wasn't the one ta hurt your Momma, Princess. The baby inside her died. And that man there's a bad man. I'm a police officer and I have ta stop bad men." He said as calmly as he could.

The little girl scrubbed at her eyes and wiped her runny nose on the back of her hand. "You a bad man. You hurt my Momma. You push her on the ground and make her cry. I gonna tell my Daddy!"

Before he could grab her again she had darted away and was running off through the trees, back toward the farm.

Something snapped inside Shane. If she ever got back to the farm and told anyone what he had done, he'd be the one they strung up. With a cruel twist of his lips and cold, dead eyes, Shane pulled his gun from his belt, aimed and squeezed the trigger.

* * *

"Tamara?"

The brunette looked up from sewing a rip in one of Daryl's shirts at the sound of her name to see Beth standing in the doorway of the lounge.

"I can't find Lacy. She was thirsty so I went to get us a drink and something to eat and when I came back she wasn't playing with my dolls out on the porch." The blonde girl said in a rush wringing her hands.

Fear coiled around Tamara's heart and squeezed tight but she calmly put down her sewing and got up off the couch, "She can't have gone far. I'll help you look." She said gently.

After ten minutes they still hadn't found the little girl in the house. Frantically Tamara burst out of the back door, the majority of the group were standing outside looking for a missing Randall when she ran out.

"Daryl!" his head came up and he looked up at Tamara as she ran down the back steps and straight to him, "We can't find Lacy." She said panicked and close to tears.

"What?" he asked grabbing her upper arms to keep her still and make her look at him.

Tears spilled down her cheeks, "We can't find Lacy!" Daryl's gaze went straight to Rick and Tamara knew something was wrong, "What? What's wrong?"

Daryl clenched his jaw and turned his gaze back to hers, "The kid's missin'. Must've got free."

"Oh God." Tamara moaned her legs buckling until she caught herself.

Rick took control of the situation immediately, "Okay, we gotta fan out, search for the little girl. Randall might not have her she might just be hidin' somewhere thinkin' it's a game."

The group spread out and searched the house, stables and the area closest to the house. They came back a few minutes later empty handed. By now Tamara was so panicked Daryl had to keep a strong arm around her waist to keep her on her feet as she tried to hold back more tears, Carol at her side trying to comfort her as much as possible.

"Rick!" The rough bellow came from the woods near the shed. Everyone turned to see Shane stumble out of the treeline, his face bloody and a small body in his arms.

The sight of Lacy's red hair streaked with blood ripped a wordless scream of pain from Tamara. She ran to Shane only to collapse a few feet away when she saw how pale and limp the little girl in his arms was. Her weight pulled Carol down with her as Daryl froze above them, his eyes glued on the little girl Shane was laying carefully down in front of Tamara who was staring in horror at her niece's still body.

"He's armed. He's got my gun." He said gruffly. "Little bastard just snuck up on me, clocked me in the face. I tried ta follow him but he grabbed Lacy and threatened her with the gun. I tried ta talk him down but he shot her anyway, ran off. I saw what direction he went in but I was tryin' ta stop the bleedin' couldn't go after him."

Carol caught Tamara up in a tight hug as the younger woman started to rock back and forth her hands smoothing down Lacy's hair from her pale face.

The group was stunned into silence with Beth collapsing into Maggie's arms sobbing. Daryl moved suddenly, an animalistic yell of pure rage tore out of his mouth and he paced in a tight loop before clenching his jaw and putting his crossbow down, holding it with his foot, pulling the string back and then loading it with an arrow.

Rick moved too, ordering, "Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody in the house. Glenn, Daryl, come with us."

As the four men marched into the woods, Daryl not sparing anyone a look, Carol tried to get Tamara up off the ground.

The small brunette shook her head whimpering when her friend gently pulled her hands away from Lacy's body so that Hershel and Patricia could cover her in a blanket Jimmy had raced into the house for. The group was shell shocked, the once vibrant little girl they all loved was dead and once again Tamara was grieving.

T-Dog was forced to lift the small brunette from the ground and walk her into the house. He sat her down on the large couch in the lounge and Carol and Lori sat on either side of her trying to comfort her even as they couldn't get their heads around the fact that Lacy was dead. Beth was inconsolable. She crumpled at Tamara's feet, head in her hands as she begged the older woman for forgiveness. The only response Tamara had was to lay a shaking hand on her head before she stood from the couch and walked to the room where Lacy's body had been placed on the bed where Carl, Daryl and she had been cared for by Hershel and the others at one time or another throughout the time they had spent at the farm. She stood in a corner, slid down to sit on the floor and wept into her raised knees waiting for Daryl to get back.

* * *

Glenn watched Daryl carefully after Shane and Rick had split with them to cover more ground. The older man was cold, calculating, a true hunter and Glenn knew if they found Randall before Rick and Shane, the guy wouldn't die quickly or painlessly. Worried about the man who he now counted as a friend, Glenn spoke up, "I'm sorry, Daryl." The words sounded hollow and Glenn wasn't even sure Daryl had heard him until the bigger man stopped and turned to him, his eyes ablaze with pain and fury, "Ya leave the dead sonabitch ta me when we find 'im."

Glenn nodded quickly and Daryl turned away to try and find a path to follow so he could take out his rage on the monster that had killed his niece.

* * *

Rage deep and cold filled Tamara's chest and she slowly got up from the floor, her eyes on the small body wrapped in a blanket laying on the bed across the room. She took a final look at it before she pulled her hair up into a messy bun and then left the room. She went straight to the lounge and found the rest of the group there. Silence filled the room when they saw her. she lifted her head and glanced at Beth, "This wasn't your fault, sweetheart." She told the young girl gently. "God just saw fit ta take my niece. It ain't ya fault."

Beth nodded once before she got up from the couch where she had been sitting and crossed the room to hug Tamara.

When she pulled away Tamara turned to Andrea, "Where's the gun bag?" she asked her voice even and emotionless.

"Why?" Andrea asked confused.

Tamara looked her right in the eyes, "I'm goin' ta kill Shane." She said plainly.

There was silence in the room for a few seconds as everyone's brains caught on to her words.

"What?!" Carol gasped out staring at the cold, detached woman standing in front of them.

Tamara turned cool green eyes onto the older woman, "I lost my baby that day because he raped me. Randall didn't get out of that shed by himself, Lacy must have seen Shane take him out. She probably said she'd tell me or Daryl what he'd done and he killed her for it."

"Wait, wait, wait." Maggie spoke up, "How d'yah know that?"

Tamara turned to her, her unnervingly cold gaze making everyone in the room uncomfortable, "Shane's a liar and a murderer. And I'm gonna make sure he never hurts anyone else." She turned to leave the house but only got as far as the kitchen before Daryl and Glenn got back, Daryl's hands covered in congealing blood and Glenn's face pale and sick looking. The Asian man didn't stop in the kitchen but continued to the lounge.

"Where ya goin', girl?" Daryl asked while he went to the sink to wash his hands.

"Shane raped me. Made me lose the baby. And I know he killed Lacy because she was gonna tell." Tamara told him watching as his shoulders tensed and he leaned heavily against the sink his head hanging down between his arms. "Give me your gun. I want ta kill him outside. Too much mess otherwise." She added.

Daryl turned on her and grabbed her, slamming her back against the kitchen wall, "Ya ain't goin' anywhere, woman." He snarled. "I'm goin' out ta see where he 'nd Rick have gone. Git back upstairs!" he growled low and deadly, his eyes boring into hers.

Tamara pushed his hands from her barely feeling the pain from where her head had hit the wall when he pushed her back, "I'm gonna kill him, not you. He's mine ta kill."

Daryl opened his mouth to argue when the echo of a single shot rang out from what sounded like the fields outside the yard. He clenched his jaw and grabbed her arm, dragging her to the lounge with him. She went placidly and looked over the rest of the group as Daryl spoke up, "We heard a shot."

"Maybe they found Randall." Lori suggested.

"We found him." Daryl said.

The tone he used made Tamara look up at him sharply before she glanced at Glenn who once again looked sick.

"Is he back in the shed?" Patricia asked oblivious.

"He's a walker." Daryl explained ignoring the feel of Tamara's eyes on him.

Hershel levelled a look at Daryl and Glenn, "Did you find the walker that bit 'im?"

Glenn spoke up, "Weird thing is, he wasn't bit."

"His neck was broke." Daryl explained.

"So he fought back." Patricia guessed.

"The thing is, Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top a each other, and Shane ain't no tracker. He didn't come up behind 'im. They were together." Daryl said.

The tension in the room immediately heightened.

Lori stepped up to Daryl, "Would you please get out there and find Rick and Shane and find out what is going on?" She asked him.

"Yep." Daryl nodded before moving to go back out the front door.

Seeing the free rifle leaning against the wall near the door, Tamara snatched it up and followed him out onto the porch.

The sight that greeted them made them both stop in their tracks. Daryl swore loudly and that brought everyone out onto the porch to see the huge herd of walkers stumbling out of the woods and onto the property. They were already almost at the barn.

"Patricia, kill the lights." Hershel said.

Andrea spoke up, "I'll get the guns."

Tamara's eyes never left the walkers streaming out of the woods and getting closer and closer to the house.

"Aren't those just like the herd that went past on the highway? Can't we just go inside and wait for them to pass?" Glenn asked Daryl.

The hunter glanced at him before turning back to the walkers coming closer with every second, "Unless there's a tunnel I don't know 'bout, a herd that size 'd rip the house down."

Lori came out of the house then, "Carl's gone." She said breathless with panic.

"What?" Tamara turned with the rest of the group to look at her.

"He was meant to be upstairs but now I can't find him." Lori said eyes frantic with worry.

"Maybe he's hiding." Glenn suggested quietly.

Lori shook her head, "He's supposed to be upstairs. I'm not leaving without my boy."

"We're not." Carol said taking the taller woman's hand, "We're gonna look again. We're gonna find him." She led Lori back into the house.

Andrea came back outside with the bag of guns and ammo. Tamara went through it grabbing the bullets that went with her rifle and putting extra into her pockets before she loaded her rifle.

When Daryl questioned the saneness of defending the farm and then trying to lead the herd off the property, Tamara loaded her last bullet and cocked the rifle, "It's a good a night as any to die." She said roughly before throwing her legs over the porch banister and jumping down to the ground below. She didn't even care if the others followed. She wasn't about to let a herd of walkers take her down without a fight.

Daryl caught her as she passed his bike, turning her to look at him he shook her lightly until her gaze snapped up to his, "Ya checkin' out or ya fightin'?"

Tamara pulled her arm from his grasp she backed away as she answered him, "By the looks of it I'm doin' both." She turned on her heel and jogged to the fence near the barn. The first walker that got near enough to her got a bullet between the eyes, as did every one after that. Hearing the cars and Daryl's bike move around her and through the herd, Tamara watched as walker after walker fell with bullets in the head and then three walkers would appear to take their place.

Minutes ticked by and then Tamara was down to her last bullet. She raised her rifle to use it when the head of the walker she was aiming at exploded. Her head snapped back, her dark locks swirling around her face, to see Daryl who stood straddling his bike, a pistol in his hand. She glared, "Don't need ta be saved!" she yelled over the distance between them.

Daryl's face hardened and he raised his gun aiming what looked to be right at her. He pulled the trigger and Tamara felt the bullet whizz past her head. She turned and saw a walker that had crept up on her go down, his blood splattering across her face.

Taking a breath she pushed every feeling away and strode forward without a backward glance, putting down another walker with her last bullet. She used her rifle as a club then, her buck knife in one hand. She saw Carol, Beth and Lori get in Otis's pickup with T-Dog but she lost sight of Andrea. Patricia was taken down by three walkers when the women tried to make a run for it. Not knowing where anyone else was she tried to make her way toward the long drive trying to get away from the undead. But three blocked her path. With an angry scream she clubbed one in the head and slammed her buck knife into the forehead of another. But the third was on her faster than she could grab her knife. Only just managing to get her rifle up the walker's weight brought them both down. Expecting to feel its teeth in her flesh Tamara gasped out only to see that as it fell the barrel of the gun pierced it clean through its head through its mouth. She stared up at the dead empty eyes above her before the sound of bike tires skidding in the gravel of the drive a few feet away from her made her shudder and struggle under the weight of the walker's body above her.

The body rolled away and she stared up into Daryl's face, "Come on. Ain't got all day." He growled.

Tamara steeled herself, grabbed his offered hand and pulled herself to her feet, jerking her rifle free of the walker's head and slinging it over her shoulder, pulling her buck knife from the other walker and then hurrying to get to Daryl's bike where he sat covering her with the final rounds from his pistol.

She straddled the bike behind him and wrapped her arms securely around his waist as he kicked off and manoeuvred the bike up the long driveway toward the highway.

The road was long and in the dark it was difficult to see the walkers that littered it. Daryl had to avoid them every once in a while and take turns that were dangerous on the bike but Tamara hardly felt the fear anymore, her thoughts were back on Lacy's body laying forgotten and alone in the abandoned farm house they had all thought would be a safe haven.

The sun started to rise as day broke around them and the road slowly became clearer. Tamara wondered if it was pointless to continue driving only to have Daryl suddenly pull onto the verge on the side of the road. As soon as he stopped she got off the bike and watched as he did the same, anger and tension pouring off of him in waves as he paced a few times.

She jerked back a step when he stopped and lifted his intense gaze to her face. Before she could get away he grabbed her wrist in an iron grip and dragged her against his chest. She struggled for a moment but then felt his hand against her cheek.

"Ya don't ever do that again, ya hear?" he snarled his eyes boring into hers as she looked up at him with wide frightened eyes. When she didn't answer he shook her slightly, "Ya hear?!" he bit out.

Tamara nodded quickly her chest rising and falling with panting breaths.

Daryl's nostrils flared and he swiped at her cheek with his calloused fingertips. They came away red with drying blood. As he looked own at his wife he realised there was something different about her, her eyes were colder, her face closed and angry; the blood splatter over her cheek and temple gave her a dangerous look that he had never dreamed he'd ever see on her. Right there and then Daryl Dixon, the man that was the provider, the hunter, the protector, fell away and he became a man scared his wife was gone and a stranger stood in her place. And so he did the only thing he could think of, he grabbed a handful of hair at the back of her head and pulled her into a rough, long kiss.

Tamara's eyes closed when his lips claimed hers and she pressed her body hard against his.

When they broke apart they were both panting and Tamara's fingers had pulled his shirt free from the waist band of his jeans and were now sliding over the contours of his stomach.

The adrenalin that had coursed through their bodies keeping them alive now made Daryl push the small brunette back against the trunk of a large oak tree as her nails raked over his warm skin. His mouth was hot on hers, their tongues battling for dominance in her mouth. He stopped himself when his hand slid up under her shirt and over her ribs. She gasped against his lips, moving away from his rough hands. Taking half a step back, he gently lifted the edge of her shirt, tensing at the sight of purple and black mottled bruises forming on the ribs of her left side.

"I'm fine." Tamara told him her voice carefully controlled.

Daryl's sharp blue eyes lifted from her abdomen to her face and she knew he didn't believe her. "Let's go, see if we can find the others." He told her stepping back only to see a flash of hurt in her eyes.

Hot blood still coursing through his body he ducked down, pushing her once more against the tree and kissed her breathless. Pulling away he smirked cockily, "When we find the group or somewhere safe, I'll finish this."

Tamara looked up at him through her hair, eyes dark with need, "I'll hold ya to that promise, Daryl." She murmured.

The hunter turned back to mount his bike again, "I'm sure ya will." He said as she got on behind him, pressing herself securely to his back before he started the bike up and they continued toward the highway.

A few minutes later they came upon taillights just ahead of them. The car must have turned onto the road they were on from a smaller side road.

Daryl easily directed the bike up beside the car and Tamara saw Maggie and Glenn motioning for him to go ahead of Otis's unmistakable blue pickup ahead of them. When Daryl brought the bike up beside the driver side of the truck, T-Dog rolled down his window and yelled over the wind and sound of the bike and truck engines, "Go ahead, man! We'll follow you to the highway!"

Daryl nodded and sped up, pulling ahead of the truck. Tamara glanced back to see Lori, Carol and Beth squashed into the pickup's cab with T-Dog and was able to let go of some of the tension in her heart when she saw that her best friend was safe.

The drive to the highway went quickly after that. The sun up by the time they came out onto the highway and Daryl led the convoy over onto the opposite side of the road so that they could drive passed and see if anyone else was waiting there for them. He slowed when he saw Rick, Hershel and Carl standing near the red and white station wagon from the farm. Crossing the grass medium, he parked the bike a car away.

The other vehicles pulled up beside him and everyone reunited.

"Where'd you find everyone?" Rick asked turning to Daryl and Tamara.

Daryl nodded at Glenn, "Saw this guy's tail lights zig-zagging all over the road. Figured he must be Asian drivin' like that."

Glenn scoffed good naturedly, "Good one."

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked.

Rick looked at him, "We're the only ones that made it so far."

"Shane?" Tamara tensed as Lori asked after the broken minded man.

Daryl looked at her carefully seeing if she would do anything when Rick shook his head that no, Shane hadn't made it. She didn't, just relaxed back against the car behind her. But that worried him a little too.

When the group had agreed what to do, they piled into the small car Maggie and Glenn had and the red and white station wagon and Tamara and Daryl got back on his bike, leading the convoy off back down the highway trying to find another safe haven.

They travelled for a few hours before Daryl pulled over onto the side of the road when Rick beeped his horn, the other two cars following his lead. He turned off the bike and Tamara got off of it as Rick walked up the line of cars toward her and Daryl.

"You out?" her husband asked the group's leader while everyone else got out of their cars.

"Runnin' on fumes." Rick answered him

Maggie came up, her rifle at the ready in her hands, "We can't stay here."

"We can't all fit in one car." Glenn said.

Rick turned to the group his eyes sliding over the woods surrounding them before he explained, "We'll have ta make a run for some gas in the mornin'."

"Spend the night here?" Carol asked standing close beside Tamara who had her arms wrapped around her body to ward off the chill of the coming night.

"It's freezing." Carl said sounding so young and scared.

Lori stayed close to him, her arm around him, "We build a fire, yeah?" she nodded before going back to looking over the woods around them like everyone else had. Rick gave the little boy his jacket.

Daryl took his crossbow from the back of the bike, "I'm gonna go out lookin' for firewood. Stay close." He warned. "Only got so many arrows. How ya doin' on ammo?" he asked everyone in the group.

"Not enough." Rick murmured.

Maggie spoke up, "We can't just sit here with our asses hangin' out."

"Watch your mouth." Hershel warned her before turning to the group, "Everyone stop panicking, listen to Rick."

"Alright, we set up a perimeter, in the morning we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on." Rick said.

Maggie stepped forward, "Glenn and I can make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas."

Rick turned to her and shook his head, "No, we stay together." He ordered. "God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."

"Rick," Glenn said carefully, "We're stranded now."

Rick paced as he spoke, trying to keep everyone calm, "I know it looks bad. We've all been through hell and worse. But at least we found each other." Tamara looked down at the cement under her feet as he continued, "I wasn't sure, I really wasn't, but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place."

Everyone was uneasy and the fact that they had nowhere to go meant that they panicked, "Rick, look around." Glenn was the bravest to speak out, "Okay? There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something."

"There's gotta be a place. Not just where we hole up, but where we fortify. Hunker down. Pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other." Rick said desperately trying to believe it himself even as half the group started to give up hope. "I know it's out there. We just have ta find it!" he turned his back on the group.

Maggie was the next to speak up, "Even if we do find a place, we think is safe, we can never be sure for how long." When she saw he wasn't listening she continued to try and get him to understand, "Look at the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that place was safe."

"We won't make that mistake again." Hershel said.

Tamara moved from foot to foot needing to get away suddenly, to leave the group and find something to do instead of just standing there debating.

Rick's voice pulled her from her thoughts, "We'll make camp tonight over there." He pointed down in the woods a little way at some ruins beside a man-made lake and dam. "Get on the road at the break a day."

As everyone started to move to look at the ruins, Carol turned to Daryl, "Does this seem right to you?" she asked not seeming to want to trust Rick's decision.

Before he could answer Beth walked up to Rick, "What if a herd of walkers come through or another group like Randall's?" she asked frightened.

"Ya know I found Randall, right?" Daryl asked Rick. "He'd turned but her weren't bit."

Rick looked away at Daryl's declaration, "How's that even possible?" Beth asked him.

"What the hell happened?" Lori added.

Tamara stepped forward, "Shane killed Randall, just like he always wanted to. And then he killed Lacy coz she was gonna tell me or Daryl what he did ta me." Rick looked away and she knew she was right. Carol reached out to comfort her but she shook her head and walked away to climb over the guard rail and look down at the ruins, her arms wrapped around her stomach.

"And then the herd got him?" Lori asked Rick trying to make sense of why Shane wasn't with them.

Rick shook his head. "We're all infected." He said after a few moments pause.

Tamara turned to look at him at his words.

"What?" Daryl was the first to ask.

"At the CDC. Jenner told me…whatever it is, we all carry it."

Tamara felt sick at Rick's admission.

"And you never said anything?" Carol asked him while Daryl paced a little trying to wrap his head around the idea that they all carried the walker disease inside of them.

When he stepped past her, Tamara reached out and grabbed his sleeve needing him close to her. He turned so that he was facing Rick but standing as close to Tamara as she could get him with the guard rail between them.

"Would it have made a difference?" Rick asked sounding tired.

"You knew this whole time?" Glenn asked shocked.

"How could I have known for sure?" Rick asked, "You saw how crazy that mother-."

"That is not your call." Glenn cut him off. "When I found out about the walkers in the barn I told, for the good of everyone."

"Well, I thought it best if people didn't know." Rick told him stoically.

Daryl moved from foot to foot under Tamara's hold and she knew he either wanted to hit something or get the hell out. But with what they had just been told she realised it was probably both. Rick turned away from the group then and walked away to a look out further along the road. When Lori went to follow him Daryl put his crossbow down and stepped on it to pull the string back and load an arrow into it. she knew he would probably want some time alone but she couldn't stand there doing nothing. Instead she followed him into the woods close to the road to get firewood. They came back to the ruins as the light started to fade and Tamara helped to get a fire started. When she looked up again Daryl had disappeared.

A moment of panic made her freeze only to have Hershel put a gentle hand on her shoulder, "He's gone ta get more firewood." The old man said with a kind but small smile.

Tamara nodded and sat down near Carol around the fire and pulled her buck knife from the sheath at her hip. The rest of the night was a sleepless one. Rick confessed to killing Shane in self-defence and then told the group in no uncertain terms that he was the leader and that they only had two choices, follow him or leave. Tamara was locked in her own memories of Shane raping her and imagining what Lacy must have gone through before she died. She only managed to fall asleep an hour or so before dawn and then it was only Daryl's arms around her as she lay against his chest that made her feel safe enough to sleep.

After they left the ruins the next day they had to find fuel and food. The next seven months were an uphill battle to try and survive and to find a place where they could live safely for more than a few days.

They never did. Every time they thought they had found a place that was safe or had food a herd would come through and destroy everything or they would come upon a large rough group like the one Randall described; only surviving to rape and kill.

Tamara came to the end of her tether two months after the Greene farm was overrun and the group had to run, she had honed her skills with knives and was a natural with a gun. But every time the group had to fight walkers she would let them come closer and closer to getting her every time just to feel something or just to die, she wasn't sure which. Things came to a head when they had run into a smaller heard of walkers. There were about twenty of them and there was no way to run from them.

Tamara stood near Carl and Carol who were fighting off a walker each. She watched as two walkers stumbled toward her, their mouths agape and their horrible growls and moans making her skin crawl. She watched as they got closer ignoring Carol's scream when the older woman saw that they were almost on her. One reached out to grab her and that's when she moved. Twisting out of reach she spun and jammed her buck knife into the back of the female walker's head, twisting it viciously before she pulled it out. But she had taken too long to kill that one and now the large male walker was nearly on top of her. His large hands closed around her hair and she was pulled back and close enough for him to bite her. Clenching her jaw she brought her knife up to stab him through the eye but he was taller than she had thought, her aim was too low and her knife slid into his neck.

He stumbled back pulling her down to the ground with a jerk before he went for her again. Her knife was still in his neck and Tamara twisted away bringing her foot up to slam her heel into his face. The walker reeled back before recovering and lunging for her again.

A single shot rang out and the walker fell at her feet half its skull missing from the close range shot. Tamara lifted her eyes to see Carol standing with a rifle at her shoulder her face pale and tears sliding silently down her cheeks.

Tamara dragged herself to her feet, grabbed her knife from the walker's neck and cleaned the blade on his shirt. Lifting her eyes to Carol she realised what she had done to her friend by the older woman's bloodless cheeks.

Steeling herself she grabbed her hair up into a pony tail high up at the back of her head and with a single quick slice she cut off the majority of her hair. The now shortened strands fell around her face at much the same length as Maggie's.

Carol seemed to flinch at the action and Tamara sighed, sheathing her knife and picking her way over to Carol's side. She gently took the rifle from her hands and slipped the strap over one shoulder. She then pulled the shaking woman into a tight hug. "I won't do it again, sweetheart. I promise." She whispered into Carol's ear before stepping back.

"What the hell ya do to ya hair?" Daryl asked from behind her having come over to see if Carl, Carol and his wife were okay.

Tamara looked up at him, "It's easier to care for and walkers won't be able to grab me as easy this way." She told him, "I'll grow it out when we get somewhere safe." She promised knowing how much he liked her long hair.

Daryl gave her a look that said she better be telling the truth before he turned to report back to Rick that everyone was fine.

After that day Tamara didn't let herself tempt fate again, it wasn't worth hurting the people she loved.


End file.
